NETWORKING UP A STORM

OK, storm is a bit of an exaggeration. Dust cloud is more like it. Networking with the public is something that doesn’t come easy or natural to me. However, after I published my 1^st book this became a necessity.

There’s a number of business networking events here in Vero Beach, all are worth attending! But that can be expensive and time consuming, so I chose 2 that I attended regularly. However, all of these involved public speaking. I was terror stricken! In terms of my phobias, this was right up there with driving!!!

Then I reminded myself that I had not only conquered this fear, but I did it without psychiatric medication and I could do likewise with this. Plus these speeches were brief! We were only allowed 30 seconds each. Still I panicked at the thought!

Usually at these events are 2 sometimes 3 women who are professional speakers. These ladies all possess enough talent, personality, & charisma to host their own TV talk shows! (It would be self-defeating to compare myself to them.) The best one, in my opinion was a lady named Flo. Attractive and always sharply dressed, she was an amazingly gifted speaker. Plus she always brought the coolest props! After my first networking event, SHE was the only person I actually remembered.

But the majority of attendees were NOT professional speakers, just regular people, like me, there to pitch a product. (I needed to keep reminding myself of that!) Most just stood, introduced themselves & their product/business, and then sat down.

Largely, this was amateur hour! It was OK to be scared, fall on my face, be awkward, or even mess up. This was all part of the learning process.

To learn tips, I attended several Toastmasters sessions as an observer. I felt so sorry for the speakers! Each one had a timer, along with 3 people taking notes; 1: for flaws in grammar, 1: for crutch words, and 1: for annoying mannerisms. – I wasn’t worried about ANY of those things! I was scared I was going to wet my pants in public! If I could just get up there and talk without embarrassing myself, I’d consider my speech a success!

Plus it was just a measly 30 seconds! And believe me; no one’s attention span is shorter than mine. I often watch entire movies on fast-forward. “Think TV commercials,” I told myself. It’s possible to hit all your salient points in that brief amount of time, just remember to be entertaining. I’m a writer, I could do this! Still, getting up in front of a crowd made me hyperventilate and my technique needed much work.

I started to meditate; I practiced breathing and used autohypnosis.

Also I studied 3 gifted speakers from the past.

The 1^st was Marlin Perkins, host of the old TV show WILD KINGDOM and pitchman for Mutual of Omaha Insurance. During breaks in the show, he’d say things such as: “That gazelle on the Serengeti Plain sure didn’t see the cheetah coming. Now don’t YOU be like that gazelle, be prepared with Insurance!” or “Among the African lowland gorillas, note how the father protected the family. Now YOU too, can be just like the African lowland gorilla!” I used to tell my dad that I found this sort of thing sneaky. He laughed and said, “These are called lead-ins. Advertisers use them all the time.”

The 2^nd speaker was Paul Harvey! You couldn’t beat Paul Harvey when it came to enthusiasm! Every product he pitched was top-of-the-line best ever! Paul was convincing and he always seemed so sincere! – More than a few of these products cluttered our house collecting dust.

The 3^rd speaker was Adolf Hitler. Now you’ve got to give the devil his due! Hitler was the greatest orator of the 20^th century. His words seduced a nation. Hitler had something beyond enthusiasm, he had passion, and when he spoke, he utilized his entire body.

Now back to Flo, my Muse has moved on and she is missed. No one could ever be as good because she possessed her own special inner spark. But I’ve learned from her, as well as the other 3 speakers. Now it was up to me to find my own unique spark.

I wished for props! Then one day I walked into my closet and I discovered that I had lots of them at my disposal! Before me were all my hats & wigs, plus ANYTHING can be turned into a prop! I could pick-up a dead cockroach with toothpick and use that in a speech. That part was easy!

But speaking was not! So I wrote down everything beforehand, edited, and memorized it. Unfortunately, my tendency was to freeze and forget everything as soon as that ocean of eyes fell upon me. To help overcome this, I imagined everyone in the crowd sitting on toilets.

Attired in my various outfits, I created theme speeches and tried to make my pitches entertaining. Sometimes I sang or did a little dance, I do both badly, but I didn’t let it stop me! Once, I stood up and did a brief comedy routine.

Several people told me they always look forward to my speeches because they never know what’s coming out of my mouth or what I’m going to do next. Others have accused me of just trying to get attention. WELL DUH, I thought THAT was the whole point!

My commercials apparently are not appreciated by everyone! Several years back, this one particular woman, (Her hair was shorter than mine is now, an actual crew cut!) I call her Man-Hair, stood up and announced a business event: “We’re interested in accomplished career women, only!” she declared. “We don’t want people who do commercials,” she said with condescension. Clearly, Man-Boobs was referring to me, I was unwelcome!

My feelings were hurt. But then I had to ask myself, if given the choice, would I want to be her? The answer is a resounding NO!!! I’d choose ME hands down! I enjoy being me! Plus her lucrative career which she seems to think everyone should envy is my idea of Hell on earth. Fortunately, she isn’t a regular attendee.

Recently, I’ve been cutting way back on these events as well as many other things I enjoy, because I’m saving up for 2 big trips. Also I’m slowly closing down my life here in Vero Beach. It’s breaking my heart to do it, I’ve been so happy here, but I knew it would be inevitable at some point.

My nervousness has never completely gone away and shaky moments remain. Sometimes I still freeze, forget things and mess up! But then my goal never was to be a professional speaker. So I don’t beat myself up about it. Besides, I’ll never stop being a work in progress.

I admire other people with more talent, some are authors right here in Vero Beach. But make no mistake about it; I will always be the Super Star of my own life.