Many who glance over my Facebook page mistakenly believe I'm some sort of former Hippie. I do support affordable (not free) health care for all, gay rights, abortion, environmental protection and other so-called liberal causes. However, I am only liberal by Vero Beach standards. Here, if you don't blindly follow the Tea Party you're labeled one!
Back in the day, I was the antithesis of a Hippie. I had murder in my heart for too many people to ever be the peace and love type! I still live to watch horror flicks. Long before Goth teens existed, I was one.
The Hippie movement was at its peak as I started Junior College. I couldn't relate to them or the other kids. I hate rock music! Jeans & T-shirts just look sloppy to me. I love dramatic attire! I wore dark lipstick and nail polish when others were going natural. The supernatural look rules my life! I had no desire to resemble my peers, nor did I want to acquire their sleazy habits.
They say if you remember the 60's you weren't really there. Well I remember them in painful detail. -- I WAS MORE THERE THAN ANY DRUGGIE! Besides, if they think it was that wonderful, why don't they want to remember it!
As a life long non-drinker, you had better believe I take a dim view of that! I'm against anything that impairs judgement. If you indulge, stay away from me on the highway! In fact, stay the hell away from me period!
In their heyday, my parents drank to fit in with their social circle. I remember a drunken acquaintance throwing himself at my mother in front of his wife. I was filled with disgust! I knew I was never going to fly with that crowd, either.
From an early age, I realized I was destined to be a misfit and a freak my entire life. But that's OK with me. I am always good to myself because others are not.
Around age 22, an older friend talked me into trying a grasshopper at an upscale restaurant. It made me so nauseous, I couldn't eat an expensive dinner I otherwise would have enjoyed.
"That drink will taste better next time," she assured me. I told her there wasn't going to be a next time!
As far as I'm concerned, alcohol has no other use than flavoring foods or treating snake bites. My good times are savored, my treasured memories are vivid. Plus I never awaken with a hangover.
If you enjoy your life, why are alcohol or drugs necessary? And if you require them to be happy or get thru life, well that's just pathetic. I think it all boils down to a herd mentality. I call it the monkey see, monkey do syndrome.
Everyone today seems so afraid of being perceived as judgmental. -- Whenever you fail to act negatively to unacceptable behavior, you are condoning it!
Once upon a time, my life sucked on an epic scale. I thought of suicide every day, multiple times. However, I never used alcohol or drugs as an escape. I'm damn proud of that! It only makes problems more severe. My brother is a prime example. After he turned to alcohol, it only exacerbated his mental issues. As a result, his freedom is gone.
Despite the vast age difference between us, we are not dissimilar in many ways. Everything could have been different.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
THE HERE, AND HOW! :-))
For all of those reading this who are not old fogies, "AND HOW!" was an expression of extreme delight when I was growing up. In a recent blog, I stated that my bliss is defined not by what I lack, but what I have.
Well someone commented, "Careful of laying bliss at the doorstep of what you have, as what you have quickly turns into what you had."
Oh good grief! Everything in life is temporary, anyway!
When I was a child, my father bragged there weren't 5 other men in town who pulled in his salary. Everything we owned was high-end. The year I turned 14 it was over. My Dad's boss was keeping 2 sets of books. My father was blindsided! Everything collapsed, our lifestyle was gone, never to return!
I've had the floor pulled out from under me more than once.
The man who made that comment could have a stroke tomorrow, or next year. He may end up dependent on someone else to feed him and wipe his behind for the rest of his life! Who knows what's around the corner.
If you are happily married and love your spouse, I've got news for you. At some point, one of you is going to die! It's not a matter of if, but when.
The point is to savor your bliss while you have it!!!
Due to the high cost of gasoline, groceries, & everything else, I'm back to being a shut-in again. I'm currently co-authoring a book, while researching another. Unless I'm meeting friends for lunch or attending a business networking event, I rarely go anyplace.
However, I do enjoy my home, or as I call it, my woman's lair. To me, it is filled with joy in abundance! My life may seem dull to others, but to me it feels like Heaven.
Years ago, my group therapist told of a man who escaped a war-torn, third world country and got a job here sweeping floors. He said every day felt like paradise compared to the conditions under which he used to exist. I can understand.
I'd be lying if I said the future doesn't scare me. Inflation is only going to get worse. I can't afford health insurance, now. And thanks to the Republican Party and their Tea Potty scumbags, I'll probably never have it. I'm one serious illness or injury from living on the street!
So I won't be calling 911 should I feel a heart attack or stroke coming on. Better to be a cobweb-covered cadaver in a recliner, my choice.
Several Christmas's ago, as I was strolling thru the Mall, my spirit was soaring. Despite the holiday season, it was uncrowded. I treated myself to a movie and a meal at TGIF. I wandered about listening to holiday music, enjoying the festive atmosphere. Everything seemed so perfect, I just wanted to die at that moment! I wanted THAT to be my last earthly memory, before anything could ruin it....Of course I didn't die.
No one is ever ready to be elderly, especially when you factor in deteriorating health. They say it's better than the alternative, but how can you be sure? The afterlife is supposed to be wonderful! Most of the people who died and returned swear by it.
Since my parents drop in from time-to-time, I know they're not in Hell. Nor do I feel I am going there.
At this writing, I'm 62 years old. My mother died at 72. I don't know how much time I have left. But I'm aware it's growing short.
I used to finish books that I just couldn't seem to get into, or movies that were boring, in the hope they'd grab me at some point. Now if I can't get into a book after a few chapters, or a movie after the first 20 minutes, I toss or delete and move onto something else. Nor do I squander time with people whose company I seldom enjoy. Time has become too precious to waste on such things.
Well someone commented, "Careful of laying bliss at the doorstep of what you have, as what you have quickly turns into what you had."
Oh good grief! Everything in life is temporary, anyway!
When I was a child, my father bragged there weren't 5 other men in town who pulled in his salary. Everything we owned was high-end. The year I turned 14 it was over. My Dad's boss was keeping 2 sets of books. My father was blindsided! Everything collapsed, our lifestyle was gone, never to return!
I've had the floor pulled out from under me more than once.
The man who made that comment could have a stroke tomorrow, or next year. He may end up dependent on someone else to feed him and wipe his behind for the rest of his life! Who knows what's around the corner.
If you are happily married and love your spouse, I've got news for you. At some point, one of you is going to die! It's not a matter of if, but when.
The point is to savor your bliss while you have it!!!
Due to the high cost of gasoline, groceries, & everything else, I'm back to being a shut-in again. I'm currently co-authoring a book, while researching another. Unless I'm meeting friends for lunch or attending a business networking event, I rarely go anyplace.
However, I do enjoy my home, or as I call it, my woman's lair. To me, it is filled with joy in abundance! My life may seem dull to others, but to me it feels like Heaven.
Years ago, my group therapist told of a man who escaped a war-torn, third world country and got a job here sweeping floors. He said every day felt like paradise compared to the conditions under which he used to exist. I can understand.
I'd be lying if I said the future doesn't scare me. Inflation is only going to get worse. I can't afford health insurance, now. And thanks to the Republican Party and their Tea Potty scumbags, I'll probably never have it. I'm one serious illness or injury from living on the street!
So I won't be calling 911 should I feel a heart attack or stroke coming on. Better to be a cobweb-covered cadaver in a recliner, my choice.
Several Christmas's ago, as I was strolling thru the Mall, my spirit was soaring. Despite the holiday season, it was uncrowded. I treated myself to a movie and a meal at TGIF. I wandered about listening to holiday music, enjoying the festive atmosphere. Everything seemed so perfect, I just wanted to die at that moment! I wanted THAT to be my last earthly memory, before anything could ruin it....Of course I didn't die.
No one is ever ready to be elderly, especially when you factor in deteriorating health. They say it's better than the alternative, but how can you be sure? The afterlife is supposed to be wonderful! Most of the people who died and returned swear by it.
Since my parents drop in from time-to-time, I know they're not in Hell. Nor do I feel I am going there.
At this writing, I'm 62 years old. My mother died at 72. I don't know how much time I have left. But I'm aware it's growing short.
I used to finish books that I just couldn't seem to get into, or movies that were boring, in the hope they'd grab me at some point. Now if I can't get into a book after a few chapters, or a movie after the first 20 minutes, I toss or delete and move onto something else. Nor do I squander time with people whose company I seldom enjoy. Time has become too precious to waste on such things.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
MY CHAIR ON THE DREAMLAND EXPRESS
Not long ago, I saw a poster on Facebook that read: SHE RAN AWAY IN SLEEP AND DREAMED OF PARADISE.
I often teased my father about falling asleep during the evening. "You should go straight to bed after dark," I told him. "Because you sleep thru most of our TV shows." (I couldn't imagine myself ever doing this!) He replied that he slept better in his recliner than in bed. It was all a matter of age, one day I would understand.
Well they don't call it the change-of-life for nothing! Now it's a challenge for me to stay awake in the evenings. Also Dad was right about the recliner, it is much better for sleeping than a bed, certainly far more comfortable. Plus I don't have all those crazy, disturbing dreams in my chair. My sleep is far more serene.
In my 30's, I took a couple of courses in hypnosis. As a result, I experienced dreams in full color and 3D. They felt like actual experiences until I woke up. I can still do that today by using the same technique. However now that I'm old, I'm less interested in adventure and more into peaceful sleep.
I've never been the type that likes going out at night, unless it's something really special. I prefer daytime events.
Gertrude, my former neighbor, went directly to bed after the evening news. Around midnight, she'd get up to watch old movies on TCM until 4:00 AM. Then she would return to bed and sleep until 7:00 AM.
Unless I have a migraine, I'd never go to bed while it's still light outside. I prefer my TV viewing, as well as napping in darkness. However, this time of year it stays light way too long! I keep a baseball cap next to my chair. When I slip it down over my face it's like an off-switch as well as a shade.
I absolutely love my DVR! I record everything rather than watch by appointment as in the old days. When I feel a nap coming on, I just exit to a classical music station, turn the volume low, or mute. Often, it's just a 10 or 15 minute catnap, but sometimes I sleep for an hour or more. Once, around 8:00 PM, I closed my eyes and didn't awaken until 11:30 PM. -- An hour past my bedtime! I went upstairs to bed and slept soundly until morning.
I can foresee a time when I won't bother going upstairs to bed at all!
To be honest, I don't like this direction my life has taken. Because, I'm aware I don't have all that much time left on this planet. I want to be fully here, awake and alert, even if I'm just watching an old movie on TV. I used to enjoy reading in the evening. But I can't do that anymore. I become too sleepy too fast.
Of course the thought has occurred, that one future day, I'm going to get up and look back at my lifeless cadaver in that chair. -- Many older people vow never to die slumped over in a recliner! Personally, I think that's the ideal way to go. If I'm lucky, I'll die in the recliner. Believe me, there are plenty of worse options.
Most likely, the mailman will eventually discover my body, rather than a neighbor. But it won't be my problem. I don't intend to haunt my house. Unless my dead relatives cause me more grief, I plan to be worlds away on the far side of Heaven.
I often teased my father about falling asleep during the evening. "You should go straight to bed after dark," I told him. "Because you sleep thru most of our TV shows." (I couldn't imagine myself ever doing this!) He replied that he slept better in his recliner than in bed. It was all a matter of age, one day I would understand.
Well they don't call it the change-of-life for nothing! Now it's a challenge for me to stay awake in the evenings. Also Dad was right about the recliner, it is much better for sleeping than a bed, certainly far more comfortable. Plus I don't have all those crazy, disturbing dreams in my chair. My sleep is far more serene.
In my 30's, I took a couple of courses in hypnosis. As a result, I experienced dreams in full color and 3D. They felt like actual experiences until I woke up. I can still do that today by using the same technique. However now that I'm old, I'm less interested in adventure and more into peaceful sleep.
I've never been the type that likes going out at night, unless it's something really special. I prefer daytime events.
Gertrude, my former neighbor, went directly to bed after the evening news. Around midnight, she'd get up to watch old movies on TCM until 4:00 AM. Then she would return to bed and sleep until 7:00 AM.
Unless I have a migraine, I'd never go to bed while it's still light outside. I prefer my TV viewing, as well as napping in darkness. However, this time of year it stays light way too long! I keep a baseball cap next to my chair. When I slip it down over my face it's like an off-switch as well as a shade.
I absolutely love my DVR! I record everything rather than watch by appointment as in the old days. When I feel a nap coming on, I just exit to a classical music station, turn the volume low, or mute. Often, it's just a 10 or 15 minute catnap, but sometimes I sleep for an hour or more. Once, around 8:00 PM, I closed my eyes and didn't awaken until 11:30 PM. -- An hour past my bedtime! I went upstairs to bed and slept soundly until morning.
I can foresee a time when I won't bother going upstairs to bed at all!
To be honest, I don't like this direction my life has taken. Because, I'm aware I don't have all that much time left on this planet. I want to be fully here, awake and alert, even if I'm just watching an old movie on TV. I used to enjoy reading in the evening. But I can't do that anymore. I become too sleepy too fast.
Of course the thought has occurred, that one future day, I'm going to get up and look back at my lifeless cadaver in that chair. -- Many older people vow never to die slumped over in a recliner! Personally, I think that's the ideal way to go. If I'm lucky, I'll die in the recliner. Believe me, there are plenty of worse options.
Most likely, the mailman will eventually discover my body, rather than a neighbor. But it won't be my problem. I don't intend to haunt my house. Unless my dead relatives cause me more grief, I plan to be worlds away on the far side of Heaven.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
GONE TO WEED & SEED
Recently, the FPL trimming crew descended on my property like a horde of Barbarians ravaging and ruining the back of my yard. They did far more than just trim. Foliage I needed for privacy was cut away. Now I can view the neighborhood behind me and they can see me.
I filed a complaint, but was assured everything would grow back. Yeah, but I may be dead first! Plus I just spent a lot of money on landscaping. Probably I'll just throw seeds back there along with a bag of fertilizer.
They left untouched a high branch that nearly reaches a power line! I didn't even notice until recently. My yard man pointed it out. He is going to remove it when he trims the rest of my trees.
I don't want to have a lawn the neighborhood gossips about. I need more than just mow & go. Over the years I've hired many different crews. Usually, they do a wonderful job for the first 6 months. After that, I don't know what happens, they slack off dramatically! Plus they want extra for weeding. -- If you can even find one willing to do it!
One lawn guy haughtily told me, "First and foremost, I don't pull weeds for anybody." -- To my mind, that's like hiring a Dentist who refuses to fill cavities. I told him I felt he was the wrong person for me. "I feel likewise about you." He sniffed.
My current yard man is the best. My lawn is still full of weeds, but at least they are kept neatly cut.
"I tend my own lawn," my friend Margaret once told me. "After my divorce, I couldn't afford anyone else. Actually it's much easier than housework! Men have the better deal."
However, I happen to be extremely fair-complexioned with a modicum of tolerance for sunshine or heat. Plus it's just not my area of expertise. I'm more into flower arranging.
When I moved here, there were a lot more trees. After all the hurricanes, not so many. Several tall pine trees that I loved had to be chopped. Neighbors said they were dead and a threat to my home in a storm.
I would have preferred to do something more creative. Perhaps leave them 4 or 5 feet and find a chainsaw artist to shape them into gnomes. But it wasn't a service I could find in the yellow pages or the local newspaper.
Also I am limited by my wallet. If not, there's a really big fantasy I would fulfill. Looking thru a TOSCANO catalog, I found the garden statue of my dreams, a Jurassic-size Velociraptor with realistic color and texture! Wow!!! I have the perfect spot for it, too. I'd place it in the front yard, right under my giant oak tree.
Unfortunately, it cost $2,250. and the freight alone is almost $50.! The price is too prohibitive for a single woman on a fixed income. Plus it would create problems.
For one thing it would be a magnet for neighborhood children. Likely, they would injure themselves climbing all over it. Naturally, the parents would sue me! -- A NO TRESPASSING sign would mean nothing!
It goes back to what Margaret was telling me when I was learning to drive. "Whatever you do," she warned, "don't hit children! Even if you're not to blame, they'll make it your fault!"
I told her, "I PREFER to hit children. As far as I'm concerned, there's too many around and I'd like to snuff a few out. -- They're dirty and they make way too much noise!"
Not to forget, I live in Hurricane Alley! And I hear we're in for another active year. I'd have to pay someone to help lug the thing in and out of my garage every time a storm threatens. Ugh! So it's probably for the best I don't have it.
Better to go to BIG LOTS and buy a little fairy statuette for my weedy yard.
I filed a complaint, but was assured everything would grow back. Yeah, but I may be dead first! Plus I just spent a lot of money on landscaping. Probably I'll just throw seeds back there along with a bag of fertilizer.
They left untouched a high branch that nearly reaches a power line! I didn't even notice until recently. My yard man pointed it out. He is going to remove it when he trims the rest of my trees.
I don't want to have a lawn the neighborhood gossips about. I need more than just mow & go. Over the years I've hired many different crews. Usually, they do a wonderful job for the first 6 months. After that, I don't know what happens, they slack off dramatically! Plus they want extra for weeding. -- If you can even find one willing to do it!
One lawn guy haughtily told me, "First and foremost, I don't pull weeds for anybody." -- To my mind, that's like hiring a Dentist who refuses to fill cavities. I told him I felt he was the wrong person for me. "I feel likewise about you." He sniffed.
My current yard man is the best. My lawn is still full of weeds, but at least they are kept neatly cut.
"I tend my own lawn," my friend Margaret once told me. "After my divorce, I couldn't afford anyone else. Actually it's much easier than housework! Men have the better deal."
However, I happen to be extremely fair-complexioned with a modicum of tolerance for sunshine or heat. Plus it's just not my area of expertise. I'm more into flower arranging.
When I moved here, there were a lot more trees. After all the hurricanes, not so many. Several tall pine trees that I loved had to be chopped. Neighbors said they were dead and a threat to my home in a storm.
I would have preferred to do something more creative. Perhaps leave them 4 or 5 feet and find a chainsaw artist to shape them into gnomes. But it wasn't a service I could find in the yellow pages or the local newspaper.
Also I am limited by my wallet. If not, there's a really big fantasy I would fulfill. Looking thru a TOSCANO catalog, I found the garden statue of my dreams, a Jurassic-size Velociraptor with realistic color and texture! Wow!!! I have the perfect spot for it, too. I'd place it in the front yard, right under my giant oak tree.
Unfortunately, it cost $2,250. and the freight alone is almost $50.! The price is too prohibitive for a single woman on a fixed income. Plus it would create problems.
For one thing it would be a magnet for neighborhood children. Likely, they would injure themselves climbing all over it. Naturally, the parents would sue me! -- A NO TRESPASSING sign would mean nothing!
It goes back to what Margaret was telling me when I was learning to drive. "Whatever you do," she warned, "don't hit children! Even if you're not to blame, they'll make it your fault!"
I told her, "I PREFER to hit children. As far as I'm concerned, there's too many around and I'd like to snuff a few out. -- They're dirty and they make way too much noise!"
Not to forget, I live in Hurricane Alley! And I hear we're in for another active year. I'd have to pay someone to help lug the thing in and out of my garage every time a storm threatens. Ugh! So it's probably for the best I don't have it.
Better to go to BIG LOTS and buy a little fairy statuette for my weedy yard.
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