GOING GALLIC FOR THE HOLIDAY (Sort of)

My Christmas this year will be subdued. I didn't feel up to erecting and decorating a tree. Also I'm too old and uninsured to be balancing on ladders. All of my holiday decorations are minimal. I'm not in my usual joyous and celebratory mood. Seems nothing has gone right since returning from Thailand 2 years ago. Perhaps the universe is punishing me for not expatriating as planned. But as a future home, I found those developing countries disappointing. 

I was reading that the French celebrate Christmas quite differently from Americans. For one thing, they don't go wild with colored lights and decorating! To me, that's what makes Christmas special! But unlike my neighbors I never decorate the outside of my home beyond a wreath. Yet, I do love decorating the inside, but this year it just seems like a bother. However the holidays only arrive once a year and I'm determined to enjoy them. So I'll be embracing some Gallic traditions. 

I've decorated the fireplace and my formal table under the chandelier is gorgeous. And of course I'll light scented candles; I'm partial to cinnamon bun & candied maple sugar.

I own at least half a dozen berets, so I may place one atop my head before sitting down to Christmas dinner. Also I plan to play French Christmas carols.

The French do put up a tree which I'm forgoing this year, although that's a German tradition. The Hessian soldiers brought this custom to America during the Revolutionary War. To compensate for my lack of a tree I've gone a little overboard with garlands this year.

For my Christmas dinner I'm having a chicken breast stuffed with brie & apple along with garlic mashed potatoes, plus a Technicolor toss salad with tiny cultivars, (the colorful jewels of tomatoes) combined with sweet peppers.

Raw oysters are served as part of the Gallic holiday meal. I've loved these since I was a child so they will be on my menu! If I wasn't poor, I'd top them with caviar. But the inexpensive kind tastes like it came from a catfish, so I'll top with cooked spinach & herbs instead.

The French don't drink eggnog, but champagne. Well I don't need to numb my brain or impair my judgment to enjoy myself! Good or bad, I want to be 100 per cent in the moment! So scratch that one!

I visited France on a group tour way back in 1978. We spent 3 days in Paris and then boarded a plane for the French Rivera. In Paris, I took 2 sips of champagne at the Moulin Rouge and that was enough. I'm having cinnamon plum tea to drink.

The French seem to set the style for everything! My 9th Grade Civics teacher explained to the class how ultra short hair became a trend in the 1940's."During the war," he said, "many French women had German lovers. After the Germans were driven out, these women were shamed for being collaborators and publicly had their heads shaved. Not long after, American tourists arrived and seeing the French women with short hair, assumed it must be the latest trend and aped it." That was HIS theory, anyway!

Here's a joke from my childhood:  Why are there so many tree lined boulevards in France?...Answer:  So the German Army could march in the shade!

For some reason my father disliked the French! I argued that they showed the Nazis a hard time. He laughed and said they showed'em a good time! -- Geez, Dad was stationed in the Pacific during WWII. So how would he know? But then Lininger is a German name!

Strange, my family always observed the French custom of opening presents on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas morning. I always found this to be an anti-climax! I was scooted off to bed directly afterward and couldn't play with anything until the next AM. -- I was the one who put an end to this custom in our family!

This year I will be aping many Gallic traditions myself, but selectively.

I read that for Christmas dessert the French eat only fruit & cheese! Really? Geez! This is the land of pastry!!! On Christmas I'm allowed a real dessert!!!

Chocolate truffles are a part of a French Christmas, however not with the big meal. This suits me fine; I always have them around for the holidays.

And by the way, the pastry in Austria is just as toothsome. But for my Christmas dessert I'm having a German stollen; a traditional Teutonic fruitcake with marzipan filling. A nod to my ancestry! Also I'm keeping some American customs, too. However, this year it will be mostly Gallic at my house.  

But for New Year's, I might go in a completely different direction. I'm thinking Salmon Wellington and Figgy pudding... No, on second thought forget that! Spanakopita with lots of feta cheese followed by Baklava oozing nuts & honey seems a much better choice!

Since I can't afford any trips abroad in the near future, I'm going to enjoy holiday vacations at home!

TIS THE SEASON FOR SHARING

Here's a joke I made up and posted on Facebook awhile back:  What's RED & WHITE & BLUE during the holidays?... Answer:  A clinically depressed strip mall Santa!

OK, that was my first share!  What were you expecting cash? Haaa haaa haaa haaah!!!!!

Now I'm going to share 2 recipes I've concocted. As with my jokes they are not going to appeal to everyone. However both are favorites of mine, also they are easy to make. I think that should automatically earn them 2 extra stars. The hardest part is opening a jar. I have small hands, so this is an arduous struggle for me. 

First and foremost, always set a beautiful table, even if you are alone. Use lovely napkins, paper ones are just fine! If you don't have fresh flowers, inexpensive silk ones will do. In fact silk actually works better; you can bend & twist the stems to suit the container unlike real flowers. Also you can mix real & silk together.

 Always treat yourself as you would any important guest you'd want to impress!!!

Embrace the holidays! You don't have to go overboard; you can achieve this on a minimal level with little effort and expense. Add holiday flair to your table with decorations from the Dollar Store. Many of these are beautiful and will get you into the holiday spirit. This year, I'm foregoing a tree and only decorating my fireplace and the big formal table where I'll be enjoying most of my meals.

Below is my favorite way to enjoy spaghetti:

 
 

                                     SPAGHETTI DIANNE

 Cook spaghetti according to directions on the box. -- I like to mix spinach spaghetti with regular. It's more colorful and remember we taste with our eyes almost as much as our tongues.  Just make sure the noodles are exactly the same width! This is of the utmost importance; otherwise it will mess up the cooking time.


After draining spaghetti, dish it onto individual plates; add a dollop or two, or three of sour cream. Then top with a medley of Greek olives with sundried tomatoes & capers. (You can purchase this combination all together in one jar at Walmart under Sam's Choice.) Also add chopped Spanish olives with minced pimiento for extra flavor.

I love deviled eggs and have stuffed them with many different ingredients over the years, below is the latest.

                                                        

 

                                          DEVILED EGGS

                                    (My Current Favorite)

  
Use either large or jumbo eggs. To devil, the 1st step is boiling the hell out of them! (Old lame joke; I'm vacuuming the dust & cobwebs from my mind.)

After cooling, cut them in half, either straight across or length wise. Scoop out the yolks & place them in a small bowl. You may need to cut away some white to create depths, add this white to the yolks in bowl.

Mix in SABRA caramelized onion with smoked paprika hummus. Dip the spoon into the center where all the onions are clustered. Mix well in bowl! Then add generous sprinkles of oregano & mix well; then add more oregano & mix again. After blending well, fill the hollows of the egg whites with this mixture. Sprinkle parsley flakes on top.

 

SIMPLE, EASY, & DELICIOUS!

PERVERTS & THE PINK PANTHER

As with most women, I've had many experiences with creepy men. Today I'm sharing one that happened in 1964. I was barely 13.

Back then, my mother & I were renting a small apartment in West Palm Beach on weekdays, so I could attend the "special" school there. We came home on weekends and holidays. This entire year was an aberration, but a welcome one! The kids at this school were much nicer than the ones in my hometown. There were no cliques or caste system, everyone was your friend.

My mother loved to shop and West Palm Beach was paradise to her. We'd catch the city bus into what used to be the center of the city. Here, were far more choices than the small coastal town in which we lived. However shopping was tiresome to me, plus I never thought much of my mother's taste. Also she was a pain to be around! Mom was a puncher and a pincher!

Rather than listen to me complain, she'd drop me off at a movie and pick me up later. This was a treat! I'd been going to the movies alone since the age of 9. It was a different world back then! Little kids had more freedom and were usually safe. And I had just become a teenager!

School had ended an hour earlier. There were 3 large theatres close together. Unlike today, all had only one screen but each featured a different film.

I chose the Pink Panther movie. It was titled A Shot in the Dark with Peter Sellers. Also starring was a German actress named Elke Sommer; beautiful as a goddess she was now an up-and-comer in Hollywood. I had recently read all about her in a movie magazine.

The inside of the theatre was enormous. I avoided the long center rows because they were too peopley. Always I would choose one of the two shorter side rows. Nowadays, most have just one big center row because multiple choices are offered under one roof.

I seated myself half-way down the middle of a right row. I was a bit early and cartoons were playing followed by a Three Stooges short. About two rows ahead of me and two seats over sat a man in his late-20's or early 30's. He laughed a lot at the funny scenes and then looked back at me. As he did, his eyes always lingered. This made me uncomfortable.

After the opening credits of the movie he got up and left. I felt a tremendous sense of relief! But then he returned! This time, he sat down in MY row just ONE seat away from me! This was a big red flag and I knew he was up to no good! So I grabbed my purse and took off. I practically had to jump over his long legs to get out, but no way was I remaining in that seat!

Perhaps he had mistaken me for older? I wore lipstick (a light shade) and I dressed like an older teen (but not trampy). Maybe in the dark light of the theatre I looked 15? But 15 is still a kid and he was an adult!

Afterward I walked over to the left side and took the aisle seat in the back row. At the far opposite end sat a middle aged man with a mustache who was around my father's age. He looked harmless enough. But he kept getting up! And I noticed every time he came back he would move closer to me! Finally, there was only ONE empty seat between us. "Oh no, not again!" I whispered to myself with a sigh of disgust. I scooped up my purse and fled this lecher, too.

I stood between the center and right rows wondering where to sit, next. Thankfully, the previous perv was gone, or else well-hidden. I returned to the right row and chose another aisle seat in the event I needed a quick escape. However a few seats away sat two middle-aged women, so I felt relatively safe this time. I enjoyed the rest of the movie in peace.

Never had I experienced that kind of problem inside a theatre before or after, never in all these years. Yet on that late afternoon long ago I encountered double debauchers. Perhaps there was a rare cosmic event in the skies that day that brought them all out.

I never told my mother about those men, fearing she would put an end to my going to the movies alone.