Recently, I updated my photo on Facebook. The old picture was not yet a year old. Plus I liked it. It had the look of an old timey painting. However, because of the red hat and blouse, too many people got the idea I am a Tea Party supporter. (GAG!) Also the pose made me appear so cultivated and genteel. In other words, everything I am NOT!
Also I changed my cover picture. My Facebook Timeline could now be called the exotic woman and the dinosaur.
I wanted something more reflective of me and my love of costumes. While attending business networking lunches, I often wear one and incorporate it into my speech.
I decided to channel SCHEHERAZADE, the storyteller and crafty heroine of ONE THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTS. I call this my woman of the sands and caravans look.
As for the dinosaur, I feel like one! And like all Baby Boomers extinction is right around the corner.
For professional portraits, I've always relied on the SEARS PORTRAIT STUDIO in the Mall. I almost decided against this particular shoot. As I stated, my other photo was still fairly new. I didn't want to spend any more money. But then I received a big discount online! This was around Christmas. It would be a present to myself!
I made a wise decision. Shortly after, the SEARS PORTRAIT STUDIO closed its doors forever! This was devastating news. Their prices were reasonable compared to other photographers.
My one issue with this studio was there were no touch-ups or photo shopping. Unfortunately, I've reached the age where I need some of that. I complained they were senior-unfriendly! The photographer explained that they were mass produced and if they took the time to do it, I'd be paying a lot more.
Despite that, they managed to do a great job! I know 22 year old me would have been thrilled and proud of the way 62 year old me looks. After they were posted on Facebook, I received a marriage proposal from a stranger, plus a modeling offer. I turned down both.
Actually, I would have accepted the modeling shoot except for the fact I had other things going on that day. The modeling offer was an unpaid one. Plus I'm too old and imperfect to model anyway.
I've heard said that you photograph only as good as your photographer.
Lots of credit goes to Nikki, the most recent photographer at the studio. I requested her by name when I spoke to the SEARS representative. She's a young woman in her mid-20's. I could tell this was a passion, her career, rather than just a mere job.
A previous SEARS photographer, (The who shot my Blog photo) was not in her category. Another 20-something, she expected me to pose myself with little or no input from her. I told her, "I can't see myself." I suggested putting a mirror behind her, so at least I'd have some idea.
Then she advised we try a shot with me sitting on the floor. "Are you able?" she inquired. From her tone, it sounded like she was afraid I might break a hip. -- I was insulted!!!
Even today I read my newspaper sprawled across the floor the way I did as a kid! (Yes I still subscribe to a newspaper.) And at 62 I'm spry enough to take my stairs 2 steps at a time! Geez! -- Hope she's back waiting on tables!
Nikki deserves her own studio! Her input was invaluable.
The SEARS PORTRAIT STUDIO holds memories for me. Unfortunately, it has gone the way of APPLEBEES Maple Blondie dessert, (my favorite!) recently discontinued in Vero Beach. I will sadly miss them both. All the good stuff, plus all the old reliables seem to be disappearing.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
REFLECTIONS ON THE ROACH
Inside my house, I have caught lizards, bees, wasps, even snakes and a bat. I took them all outside to freedom. However, my compassion does not extend to cockroaches (or children!) Whenever I spot one in my home my reaction is the same as if it was a burglar. -- I want it DEAD and out of here!
As I opened my front door early one morning, 2 small cockroaches rushed inside! I was barefoot. Not having time to reach for the spray or fly-swatter, I slapped them both dead with my hand. -- Hands are easier to clean than feet.
Usually, when dealing with roaches, I prefer a fly-swatter. Insecticide has toxic fumes! --My house is closed shut nearly half the year due to air-conditioning. I don't want that poison in my lungs! Also spray takes too long to kill them. The roaches flail and flop around like a ham Hollywood actor in a death scene. Worse, they prefer going behind my oven or washing machine to go belly-up, someplace where I can't retrieve and properly dispose of the body. This becomes embarrassing when I'm forced to call a repairman.
One had the nerve to imply that if I was a better housekeeper, I wouldn't have bugs!
My mother and step-mother were both immaculate housekeepers, yet we still had cockroaches, along with all the other creatures. My father refused to pay an exterminator because they were not an every day pest. I agree. Besides, this is Florida! Our state bird is the cockroach, or it should be. And we have giant ones, too!
A few decades back, a national pest control company held a contest. The biggest cockroach carcass would win! Anyone who has grown up in this state knows how to give themself a winning edge. But it involves cheating! -- Just catch a roach, put it in a jar, poke holes in the top, toss in a cookie piece and a soggy bread crust. Before long, you'll have a home-grown monster!
Of course I'd go them one better. I'd add a dampened vitamin pill. I know I could have easily won! -- Unfortunately, I learned of this contest too late.
When I was a child, a visiting Aunt claimed to have seen a monster cockroach in our guesthouse. It kept her awake all night! "The creature was the size of a lemon!" she exclaimed.
"Oh that's nothing," I replied. "We found one under the sink the size of a banana!" My mother shot me a dirty look. She'd deal with me later. But my aunt bought it! That was fun!
In our former home, my father often doused our kitchen with pesticide before we retired for the night. The fumes spread throughout the entire house. This made me gag! I never could get it across that he was shortening our lives! -- He probably didn't care!
I rarely get out of bed to snack, (almost never) however one night long ago, I just couldn't get that turkey pasta salad out of my head. Half-asleep I switched on the light. Glaring at me from the middle of the refrigerator was a behemoth! I reached for the can of pesticide on the counter and sprayed dead-on! This leviathan flew directly at me, landing in my hair! I jumped wildly, shaking and twisting my body doing the most bizarre dance you could ever imagine. The bug clung tight! Eventually, it dropped onto the floor and raced under the counter.
Cockroaches survived the cataclysm that obliterated the dinosaurs. They could survive a nuclear blast and gamma rays as well! These bugs will inherit the earth. (No doubt in my mind!) Long after humankind has destroyed itself, its bones turned to ash and blowing in the polluted air. The roach will evolve. Eons from now, as the sun dims and the earth cools, swarms of roaches will be climbing into their spaceships searching for other planets to infest.
As I opened my front door early one morning, 2 small cockroaches rushed inside! I was barefoot. Not having time to reach for the spray or fly-swatter, I slapped them both dead with my hand. -- Hands are easier to clean than feet.
Usually, when dealing with roaches, I prefer a fly-swatter. Insecticide has toxic fumes! --My house is closed shut nearly half the year due to air-conditioning. I don't want that poison in my lungs! Also spray takes too long to kill them. The roaches flail and flop around like a ham Hollywood actor in a death scene. Worse, they prefer going behind my oven or washing machine to go belly-up, someplace where I can't retrieve and properly dispose of the body. This becomes embarrassing when I'm forced to call a repairman.
One had the nerve to imply that if I was a better housekeeper, I wouldn't have bugs!
My mother and step-mother were both immaculate housekeepers, yet we still had cockroaches, along with all the other creatures. My father refused to pay an exterminator because they were not an every day pest. I agree. Besides, this is Florida! Our state bird is the cockroach, or it should be. And we have giant ones, too!
A few decades back, a national pest control company held a contest. The biggest cockroach carcass would win! Anyone who has grown up in this state knows how to give themself a winning edge. But it involves cheating! -- Just catch a roach, put it in a jar, poke holes in the top, toss in a cookie piece and a soggy bread crust. Before long, you'll have a home-grown monster!
Of course I'd go them one better. I'd add a dampened vitamin pill. I know I could have easily won! -- Unfortunately, I learned of this contest too late.
When I was a child, a visiting Aunt claimed to have seen a monster cockroach in our guesthouse. It kept her awake all night! "The creature was the size of a lemon!" she exclaimed.
"Oh that's nothing," I replied. "We found one under the sink the size of a banana!" My mother shot me a dirty look. She'd deal with me later. But my aunt bought it! That was fun!
In our former home, my father often doused our kitchen with pesticide before we retired for the night. The fumes spread throughout the entire house. This made me gag! I never could get it across that he was shortening our lives! -- He probably didn't care!
I rarely get out of bed to snack, (almost never) however one night long ago, I just couldn't get that turkey pasta salad out of my head. Half-asleep I switched on the light. Glaring at me from the middle of the refrigerator was a behemoth! I reached for the can of pesticide on the counter and sprayed dead-on! This leviathan flew directly at me, landing in my hair! I jumped wildly, shaking and twisting my body doing the most bizarre dance you could ever imagine. The bug clung tight! Eventually, it dropped onto the floor and raced under the counter.
Cockroaches survived the cataclysm that obliterated the dinosaurs. They could survive a nuclear blast and gamma rays as well! These bugs will inherit the earth. (No doubt in my mind!) Long after humankind has destroyed itself, its bones turned to ash and blowing in the polluted air. The roach will evolve. Eons from now, as the sun dims and the earth cools, swarms of roaches will be climbing into their spaceships searching for other planets to infest.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
ZOMBIE FEVER
While cleaning out a drawer, I found a copy of a letter I typed to a TV station when I was 15. I requested they show BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW for the Saturday afternoon movie. After all these decades, I still love my horror flicks! Only these days my heart has been mostly consumed by zombies. Those walking, flesh-eating abominations excite me as nothing else!
Upon the Vero Beach premiere, I went to see WORLD WAR Z in 3-D. WOW!!! I didn't want it to end. I could have sat thru that film for 3 days straight! -- I don't care spit for Brad Pitt, but zombies get my heart pumping!
The dead ones certainly have gotten physically stronger and more spry since George Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. -- I still don't understand why no one can smell them coming. They look like they stink to high heaven!
I learned recently that WORLD WAR Z will be a trilogy. I just hope they don't keep us waiting too long!
ALSO I discovered that what we saw was not the original ending. The initial one was far darker and changed at the last minute. In that version, the plane lands safely in Russia, voracious zombies and chaos breaks loose all over again. Weak and sickly people are quickly executed. The Brad Pitt character is held against his will and coerced into becoming a zombie wilderness fighter. Meanwhile his wife has been forced to prostitute herself for food. Eventually, she becomes the sex toy of the helicopter pilot in an earlier scene. As the Russian winter sets in, the Pitt character discovers that COLD kills zombies! -- I would have enjoyed that version equally as much, if not more! So it's a bit darker, for crying out loud! This is a zombie flick! It comes with the territory.
A zombie apocalypse is indeed a possibility, according to an article I read. NO, the dead will NOT rise! A virus in the frontal lobe of the brain could transform live humans into murderous, crazed cannibals. -- I recall seeing a movie based on this premise. I believe it was titled, 28 DAYS LATER and the sequel, 28 WEEKS LATER. Perhaps there's another sequel in the works titled, 28 MONTHS LATER! Will anyone be left alive after 28 years???
Should this occur, to keep starvation at bay, we are encouraged to head for the Cat Food aisle of the supermarket. Because all others will be jammed with desperate people quickly depleting the shelves.
Personally, I've always thought those little cans of Fancy Feast sounded tasty. -- Have you seen the commercials? Sea Bass & Shrimp in a delicate broth, Cheddar Grilled Chicken & Cheese Feast in gravy; yummy, yummy, yum, yum! In my next life, I hope I return as a cat!
When I was 58, I dated a man who looked like a zombie. (He could have passed as the Crypt Keeper, too.) The guy was almost 20 years older. When a friend and I attended the Halloween Zombie Formal, I commented that if my ex-boyfriend was there, he wouldn't need a costume.
"But you love zombies!" she exclaimed.
"Only on film," I replied, "not pawing my body!"
I love movies where exciting things happen, with, or without zombies.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris, & Jean Claude Van Damme are NOT my favorite action stars, neither is Jonathan Statham, nor the Pitt. No one can kick butt, zombie, or other, like Milla Jovovich! She looks spectacular doing it, too! The indestructible Alice from RESIDENT EVIL rules!
Zombies are hot now. And I've got the fever!
Upon the Vero Beach premiere, I went to see WORLD WAR Z in 3-D. WOW!!! I didn't want it to end. I could have sat thru that film for 3 days straight! -- I don't care spit for Brad Pitt, but zombies get my heart pumping!
The dead ones certainly have gotten physically stronger and more spry since George Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. -- I still don't understand why no one can smell them coming. They look like they stink to high heaven!
I learned recently that WORLD WAR Z will be a trilogy. I just hope they don't keep us waiting too long!
ALSO I discovered that what we saw was not the original ending. The initial one was far darker and changed at the last minute. In that version, the plane lands safely in Russia, voracious zombies and chaos breaks loose all over again. Weak and sickly people are quickly executed. The Brad Pitt character is held against his will and coerced into becoming a zombie wilderness fighter. Meanwhile his wife has been forced to prostitute herself for food. Eventually, she becomes the sex toy of the helicopter pilot in an earlier scene. As the Russian winter sets in, the Pitt character discovers that COLD kills zombies! -- I would have enjoyed that version equally as much, if not more! So it's a bit darker, for crying out loud! This is a zombie flick! It comes with the territory.
A zombie apocalypse is indeed a possibility, according to an article I read. NO, the dead will NOT rise! A virus in the frontal lobe of the brain could transform live humans into murderous, crazed cannibals. -- I recall seeing a movie based on this premise. I believe it was titled, 28 DAYS LATER and the sequel, 28 WEEKS LATER. Perhaps there's another sequel in the works titled, 28 MONTHS LATER! Will anyone be left alive after 28 years???
Should this occur, to keep starvation at bay, we are encouraged to head for the Cat Food aisle of the supermarket. Because all others will be jammed with desperate people quickly depleting the shelves.
Personally, I've always thought those little cans of Fancy Feast sounded tasty. -- Have you seen the commercials? Sea Bass & Shrimp in a delicate broth, Cheddar Grilled Chicken & Cheese Feast in gravy; yummy, yummy, yum, yum! In my next life, I hope I return as a cat!
When I was 58, I dated a man who looked like a zombie. (He could have passed as the Crypt Keeper, too.) The guy was almost 20 years older. When a friend and I attended the Halloween Zombie Formal, I commented that if my ex-boyfriend was there, he wouldn't need a costume.
"But you love zombies!" she exclaimed.
"Only on film," I replied, "not pawing my body!"
I love movies where exciting things happen, with, or without zombies.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris, & Jean Claude Van Damme are NOT my favorite action stars, neither is Jonathan Statham, nor the Pitt. No one can kick butt, zombie, or other, like Milla Jovovich! She looks spectacular doing it, too! The indestructible Alice from RESIDENT EVIL rules!
Zombies are hot now. And I've got the fever!
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
MEMORIES OF THE 4TH
The only time I ever miss my former home is on the 4th of July. The St. Lucie River was a mile wide behind our house, plus we had a 150 ft dock. We enjoyed a V.I.P. view of the fireworks from the end of our pier. Not only could we see the ones from the Roosevelt Bridge a short distance away, but those directly across the river in Rio as well. The night was always a spectacular one! -- It more than topped the Christmas boat parade!
Here, I have to settle for neighbor's illegal fireworks. (There are plenty!) They start going off around 6:00 P.M. and often last until about 3:00 A.M. keeping me awake! Actually they start the week before and end the week after. -- This is one reason I don't want anymore pets. My dog & cat were terrified to go outside. This particular holiday undid a lot of painstaking housebreaking!
A few years back, when the 4th fell on a Saturday, a heavy storm hit the night before. Lightning struck my AT&T box! I was left without a computer, TV, or phone for the entire weekend! Because of the holiday, no one could come out to repair before late Sunday.
Early Saturday A.M., I walked next door to use a neighbor's phone to report it. My neighbor insisted they already knew. "It's probably on a master-board, somewhere," she said.... In other words, turn around and go away.
I told her I wanted to make sure! Good thing I did, there was NO master-board!
At least my lair had electricity! Also there was plenty of reading material to enjoy. Plus the fridge had all of my favorite summer treats to eat. The daytime hours were relatively quiet and serene. Later it sounded like World War IV! Despite everything, I enjoyed the holiday.
Sunday, around 4:00 P.M., the repairman came. He brought my AT&T box inside to show me. It was completely fried! "It's a miracle your house didn't catch fire!" he pointed out. -- Lightning did cause a fire in a neighborhood home in the recent past. The house had to be leveled and rebuilt. Whew!
He replaced the box and soon everything was up and running. The repairman was half out the door when my phone rang. It was my friend, Pat in N. Florida. She thought I was dead! She had been phoning constantly, even during the wee A.M. hours!
"I couldn't even get your answering machine, just a busy signal!" she exclaimed. (My phone was DEAD on this end!) Pat complained to the operator, who told her my line was just busy!!!
Unless there's another issue, I plan to fully enjoy the 4th! I'll have my veggie dogs, potato salad, chips, & pink lemonade for a kitchen table picnic over-looking my back yard. I might also play some patriotic music. My home has huge picture windows, including a high one on the cathedral ceiling. From my recliner, I can watch a movie with one eye, while enjoying the neighborhood fireworks with the other.
Here, I have to settle for neighbor's illegal fireworks. (There are plenty!) They start going off around 6:00 P.M. and often last until about 3:00 A.M. keeping me awake! Actually they start the week before and end the week after. -- This is one reason I don't want anymore pets. My dog & cat were terrified to go outside. This particular holiday undid a lot of painstaking housebreaking!
A few years back, when the 4th fell on a Saturday, a heavy storm hit the night before. Lightning struck my AT&T box! I was left without a computer, TV, or phone for the entire weekend! Because of the holiday, no one could come out to repair before late Sunday.
Early Saturday A.M., I walked next door to use a neighbor's phone to report it. My neighbor insisted they already knew. "It's probably on a master-board, somewhere," she said.... In other words, turn around and go away.
I told her I wanted to make sure! Good thing I did, there was NO master-board!
At least my lair had electricity! Also there was plenty of reading material to enjoy. Plus the fridge had all of my favorite summer treats to eat. The daytime hours were relatively quiet and serene. Later it sounded like World War IV! Despite everything, I enjoyed the holiday.
Sunday, around 4:00 P.M., the repairman came. He brought my AT&T box inside to show me. It was completely fried! "It's a miracle your house didn't catch fire!" he pointed out. -- Lightning did cause a fire in a neighborhood home in the recent past. The house had to be leveled and rebuilt. Whew!
He replaced the box and soon everything was up and running. The repairman was half out the door when my phone rang. It was my friend, Pat in N. Florida. She thought I was dead! She had been phoning constantly, even during the wee A.M. hours!
"I couldn't even get your answering machine, just a busy signal!" she exclaimed. (My phone was DEAD on this end!) Pat complained to the operator, who told her my line was just busy!!!
Unless there's another issue, I plan to fully enjoy the 4th! I'll have my veggie dogs, potato salad, chips, & pink lemonade for a kitchen table picnic over-looking my back yard. I might also play some patriotic music. My home has huge picture windows, including a high one on the cathedral ceiling. From my recliner, I can watch a movie with one eye, while enjoying the neighborhood fireworks with the other.
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