DON'T BE ASHAMED TO MASTERDATE

I've been masterdating for as long as I can remember. Yesterday I did it at the Vero Beach Mall in full view of everyone. I haven't done it at the library for awhile, but tomorrow I might! One thing is for sure, I don't do enough of it. That's masterdating with a D as in Dianne. I didn't come up with that word, but I love it and also love doing it!

Masterdating is treating yourself to things you enjoy, no company required. All but a few of my many exotic vacations were taken alone.

Before moving to Vero Beach I didn't drive due to anxiety attacks, but that never stopped me! Our house was inside the city limits and within walking distance of nearly everything! The historic downtown area with stores, restaurants, museums, and a theatre was just a short distance away. My bank was even closer! Numerous doctor & dentist offices were close by, and the hospital was just down the street. And the library was just blocks away!

Growing up, I walked to school and back right up until the last 3 years before I graduated. Then I walked to the Junior High where I caught the bus out to the new High School.

Several of my jobs were ones to which I walked. Also I put in applications to others nearby. However they asked a question which is now illegal, one that involved my transportation to and from work. One interviewer actually said to me, "I see you have a problem getting to work."

I stated there was NO PROBLEM! Should it storm I would have no trouble getting a ride. Someone living farther away would have more of an issue if their car broke down. Still this seemed to be a stigma against me!

As long as I had 2 functioning legs I got around just fine! I carried an umbrella to shield me from the blazing sun as well as raindrops.

Unfortunately without a job there was no spending money for excursions into town or anything else. For entertainment, much of my time was spent at the library just blocks away. I even became a volunteer hoping it would lead to employment. It did not.

In 1999 came the big move to Vero Beach! Here, nothing was close to home! With continued therapy along with professional lessons I finally was able to get a license and drive a car.

After my father's death in 2001 and before my staggering loss in a bad investment, I was sitting pretty financially. Every week I enjoyed a Date-Myself-Day and treated myself to a movie and a meal. And I was the best date I've ever had! I could choose both the movie & restaurant I wanted, plus leave & come home when I felt like it on the day of my choosing! Life was wonderful!

It still is, just not as. Despite financial issues and other woes life goes on. I enjoy meeting friends for lunch & shopping, or sometimes just lunch. And I treat myself to an occasional movie or meal alone, only not as frequently.  

At home, I always set a lovely table just for me to enjoy. Perhaps it's old age kicking in, but sometimes as I pull up after a day out I feel relief that I don't have to go anyplace for the remainder of the week.

A relaxing nap also feels like masterdating!

THE VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL BRIBE

At the end of summer I would be starting school for the first time. This was back in the 1950's! My exposure to other children was limited. Mostly, my time was spent with my closest neighbor Sharla, 4 years my senior who was spoiled rotten and my parents considered a bad influence, but was tolerated.

My mother feared I'd be socially retarded. She had this idealized image of what her daughter was supposed to be and never failed to let me know that I was a big disappointment.

My brother, 11 years older had been attending church alone ever since my family moved to Florida 5 years earlier. Thanks to our Pentecostal grandmother up north he was quite religious then.  A few years later when drafted into the army he discovered alcohol and exchanged one crutch for another.

That particular summer the church was holding a vacation bible school for children my age. My family thought it might do me good to meet more kids my age. Thankfully it was only for a week, but it turned out to be one of the longest weeks of my life.

Class started early. The teacher was a woman on the elderly side. Another in her 20's appeared to be her assistant. The students were a mixed group of girls & boys about evenly divided. I noticed that one girl kept shooting me a less than friendly look.

At 10:00 AM each day, class paused for a 15 minute break. Everyone went outside where punch & cookies were served by the assistant. The boys & girls separated. We ate on benches. I sat alone.

The other girls seemed to go out of their way to avoid me. That one continued shooting evil looks. She appeared to be their leader. I'll call her "Alpha"! Perhaps she felt threatened by me because we both had the same Buster Brown haircut. However I was probably the least threatening person there.

The first day was it for me! I never wanted to return, but was urged to give it a second chance.

The following one played out the same. I declared to my parents that I would NOT be returning. The other kids excluded me plus I was getting an outright hostile vibe from one girl.

At that time, I did have a friend my age, Lindy who had moved nearby. My mother invited her to join me and pay the small fee for the remainder of the week so I wouldn't feel alone.

The following morning as we sat waiting for class to commence, I couldn't believe my eyes as Alpha gave Lindy the warmest most welcoming smile I'd ever seen in my life! -- Why didn't she do that for ME??? Lindy smiled sweetly back.

When break time rolled around as we stood getting our refreshments Alpha waved Lindy over and invited her to sit with her and the other girls, which she did. I sat alone and watched them all play together afterward.

I told my mother that was the proverbial straw that finally broke the camel. However, Mom had an idea. The following AM when my brother picked Lindy up he was instructed to bring her back to our house, first.

I owned an elaborate doll collection despite the fact I never played with them. (I was more of a bug, rock, & reptile gal.) But my mother adored dolls! Lindy did, too. She loved playing with mine whenever she visited. -- I was probably just the side attraction. Anyway, Lindy was partial to one doll in particular.

My mother offered to give her this doll at the end of the week provided she remain at my side. Lindy was thrilled!

The following day as we sat at the bench having our cookies & punch Alpha came over and asked Lindy to come sit with her and the other girls.

"No, I can't," she replied. "I have to stay with Dianne!"

It's that "HAVE TO" part that always sticks in my mind.

I waited for Alpha to say, "Bring her, too." Instead, she just shrugged and walked away.

But Lindy was a good little whore! She earned that damn doll! However, I never wanted anything more to do with her afterward. She was never invited to my home ever again.

I don't believe getting a so-called friend to prostitute herself was the answer. Better to have complained to the minister and demanded a refund since the 2 women in charge were either clueless or indifferent.

I wondered if I would be encountering Alpha again later when I started school. This was not the case. Unfortunately, there were others of her ilk. I found myself in their crosshairs.

And despite my mother's best efforts I grew up socially retarded, but I'm OK with that.

THE GIRL FROM LONG AGO

That summer I must have been 4 years old because I didn't start school for another 2 years at age 6. My premier friend Sharla, (4 years older) a grade schooler was quite sophisticated and worldly. Just the year before she took a train trip with her mother to an exotic sounding place called Pennsylvania. I was in awe.

This particular summer their church was sponsoring a fun day at a swimming hole in a neighboring municipality just a short distance away for children in the congregation, they were encouraged to invite others. Sharla's mother Jayne invited me, probably without her knowledge, I'm guessing.

Just as soon as Jayne drove away Sharla raced off to join kids her own age. I knew I would not be seeing her around me until it was time to go home. I was hurt but not surprised, Sharla was just being Sharla.

I loved to swim and found myself automatically walking toward the water. It wasn't too deep and comfortably cool, perfect for swimming. I wasn't in long before a girl around age 10 swam over and asked my name. We played and laughed together in the water.

Lunch was included, at this time the swimming ended. The older girl took my hand as we stepped from the water. She grabbed a towel and began drying me off, one leg & arm at time. Sharla would never have done that! Just the week before at the beach I asked her to hand me a towel and she told me, "Get it yourself!"

This older girl took my hand again and we headed toward the picnic tables. We sat together and chatted. Afterward she pushed me on the swings and we sang. She never left my side that entire day. Later she waited with me still holding my hand as the event drew to a close. My friend, Sharla was occupied elsewhere.

When Jayne arrived to pick us up it was painful to wave good bye. I knew I'd never see this girl again, but I would never forget her, either! I could not have imagined that someone older would take an interest and give me such TLC. I had never felt so cared for by anyone, not even my own mother. She made me feel so special that day!

I wasn't even that cute. And there was no pay off for her.

Perhaps she was the preacher's daughter and had been instructed to befriend any stray kids. If so, I never felt she was acting out of obligation. Even now as a senior citizen I still vividly recall this angel of a girl and that day long ago!