FAKE TEETH, BUT GENUINE SMILES

 

Often I receive complements on my beautiful smile. -- Well it should be nothing less than gorgeous for what it cost! I have 3 bridges, 2 implants, 7 crowns and counting.

At age 47 my teeth were straightened the old Hollywood way with crowns. All of them cracked within 5 years and needed to be replaced. The dentist who first placed them assured me they would last for 20 years and now he was gone! All were crazy expensive, not to mention an ordeal to replace.

My last birthday fell on a Monday. Friday morning I kicked off my birthday weekend declaring my healthy diet be damned. I began with walnut pancakes with lots of syrup. However one of those walnuts turned out to be a frontal crown. It's a miracle I didn't swallow it!

The open space in my teeth stuck out like a firecracker. I looked like Granny Yokum from Dogpatch! I called my dentist only to learn the office remained closed for the holidays and wouldn't be open until Tuesday. I phoned the emergency number and was informed this was not considered an emergency. I was told to buy Fixodent.

OK I thought I'll just make a quick trip to Walgreens and back keeping my mouth closed. But horror of horrors my car battery expired there stranding me! I don't own a cellphone.

The store manager assured me everything was going to be OK and to stop crying. A young clerk gave my car a jump. I drove directly to Eagle Automotive looking as I did. I was embarrassed as hell!

The owner there is wonderful. He not only replaced my battery but found a leak in my coolant and repaired it.

As to the Fixodent, now that I had it I was reluctant to use it. This was only a temporary fix and I couldn't risk swallowing that crown or having it go down the sink while brushing my teeth, or falling on the floor and get stepped on.

I already had another tooth; a back lower molar missing awaiting my bone graft to heal for another implant.

And this tiny piece of porcelain not even half the size of a carpenter ant's butt would cost me thousands to replace! I could buy an entire set of dishes for way less. And if it would save me money I'd rip out my porcelain bathroom sink and give it to the dentist! That would cost me much less to replace!

Fast forward to Tuesday, as I'm sitting in the dentist chair he drops my crown on the floor! Both he and the dental assistant scramble to locate it. I'm hollering "Don't step on it!" -- Had it fallen on my floor at home I'd never have found it due to posterior vitreous detachment in both my eyes.

Thankfully they found it. I left my dentist office only $200 poorer.

That was the suckiest birthday ever in my life!

Now I'm in the process of getting an implant for that lower back molar. So it's a return to long months of eating soft food and chewing on one side. The screw placed under the gum must heal before the process can be completed even though my bone graft was successful.

Afterward when I picked up my prescriptions at the pharmacy they asked to see my driver's license which they never did before. I inquired as to what they were giving me! One was a powerful narcotic which I refused. On other occasions I refused the super-duper strength Tylenol.

I don't do narcotics legal or other. If I was on my death bed in dire pain it would be different but I wasn't going there over brief mild discomfort.

I've had my lips tattooed 4 different times with only a topical which wore off half way thru so I really think I can handle pain!

FORGET THE BUCKET LIST

 

They say the best things in life are free. If that's true, I've either had them already or else don't want them. All of my bucket list activities cost the kind of money I don't have. So they are destined to remain fantasies and my list is endless. I'm sure plenty of others can relate to this!

However when I was younger I did many of the things I always wanted to do along with ones I'd never imagined; such as touring Russia, Ukraine, & the Crimean, conquering my fear of public speaking, and getting arrested. The last one I'm not proud of. 

I recently turned 73, I've lived one year longer than my mother. On both sides of my family we tend to die between the ages of 80 - 85. My father at age 80 was young looking, handsome, and active; but that changed almost overnight.

Despite his healthy lifestyle he was stricken with a heart attack that required a triple bypass, followed by a stroke and finally terminal cancer. He died at 85 the same age as his chain smoking father.

The longest survivor by far was my Aunt M who never had to deal with a problem her entire life according to her sons and she lived to be a hundred!

My life seems more full of problems than anything else! It's a sobering thought to realize that I may indeed be dead in about ten years! At my current age I would love to be traveling the world again instead of paying doctors and dentists! My time and health is quickly running out.

Recently I visited a friend whom I hadn't seen in months although we've spoken many times on the phone. She is seven years my senior. I was shocked by how old and feeble she had become. It seemed to have occurred suddenly as if an evil fairy struck her with the decrepit stick!

This left me unnerved and frightened. My turn is just around the corner! She has healthcare and I do not. I may not even make it to her age!

Years back I thought expatriating to a developing country was the answer. I had it narrowed down to Ecuador or Thailand. This was during the previous decade when it was easier to save up for exploratory trips.

Both of these countries proved TOO Third World for me! Affordable healthcare was there but the quality of life was far lacking.

And during the years since both countries have experienced changes that would have forced me to move! Plus neither handled the pandemic well. I'd probably be dead now had I expatriated.

Also I considered Mexico. Sadly it has become way too violent! Nothing as it used to be during the 1970's when I vacationed there.

If I'm ever stricken with terminal cancer as my parents, I won't fight it prolonging the agony. Instead I'd take whatever money I have left buy a first class ticket and start traveling to as many distant places as possible and die in a faraway land. I want to be cremated and scattered wherever I happen to end up.

Of course I might have a heart attack or stroke and end up dying in my recliner. That would be OK too. This is the house where I recaptured my happiness and one I love.

More than once the world I knew was yanked out from under me. Each day now I feel the ground shifting beneath my feet. Guess I do have a bucket list after all! This one involves hanging onto what is mine for as long as I can. Everything is temporary, even life itself.