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Friday, December 22, 2017

GOING GALLIC FOR THE HOLIDAY (Sort of)


My Christmas this year will be subdued. I didn't feel up to erecting and decorating a tree. Also I'm too old and uninsured to be balancing on ladders. All of my holiday decorations are minimal. I'm not in my usual joyous and celebratory mood. Seems nothing has gone right since returning from Thailand 2 years ago. Perhaps the universe is punishing me for not expatriating as planned. But as a future home, I found those developing countries disappointing. 

I was reading that the French celebrate Christmas quite differently from Americans. For one thing, they don't go wild with colored lights and decorating! To me, that's what makes Christmas special! But unlike my neighbors I never decorate the outside of my home beyond a wreath. Yet, I do love decorating the inside, but this year it just seems like a bother. However the holidays only arrive once a year and I'm determined to enjoy them. So I'll be embracing some Gallic traditions. 

I've decorated the fireplace and my formal table under the chandelier is gorgeous. And of course I'll light scented candles; I'm partial to cinnamon bun & candied maple sugar.

I own at least half a dozen berets, so I may place one atop my head before sitting down to Christmas dinner. Also I plan to play French Christmas carols.

The French do put up a tree which I'm forgoing this year, although that's a German tradition. The Hessian soldiers brought this custom to America during the Revolutionary War. To compensate for my lack of a tree I've gone a little overboard with garlands this year.

For my Christmas dinner I'm having a chicken breast stuffed with brie & apple along with garlic mashed potatoes, plus a Technicolor toss salad with tiny cultivars, (the colorful jewels of tomatoes) combined with sweet peppers.

Raw oysters are served as part of the Gallic holiday meal. I've loved these since I was a child so they will be on my menu! If I wasn't poor, I'd top them with caviar. But the inexpensive kind tastes like it came from a catfish, so I'll top with cooked spinach & herbs instead.

The French don't drink eggnog, but champagne. Well I don't need to numb my brain or impair my judgment to enjoy myself! Good or bad, I want to be 100 per cent in the moment! So scratch that one!

I visited France on a group tour way back in 1978. We spent 3 days in Paris and then boarded a plane for the French Rivera. In Paris, I took 2 sips of champagne at the Moulin Rouge and that was enough. I'm having cinnamon plum tea to drink.

The French seem to set the style for everything! My 9th Grade Civics teacher explained to the class how ultra short hair became a trend in the 1940's."During the war," he said, "many French women had German lovers. After the Germans were driven out, these women were shamed for being collaborators and publicly had their heads shaved. Not long after, American tourists arrived and seeing the French women with short hair, assumed it must be the latest trend and aped it." That was HIS theory, anyway!

Here's a joke from my childhood:  Why are there so many tree lined boulevards in France?...Answer:  So the German Army could march in the shade!

For some reason my father disliked the French! I argued that they showed the Nazis a hard time. He laughed and said they showed'em a good time! -- Geez, Dad was stationed in the Pacific during WWII. So how would he know? But then Lininger is a German name!

Strange, my family always observed the French custom of opening presents on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas morning. I always found this to be an anti-climax! I was scooted off to bed directly afterward and couldn't play with anything until the next AM. -- I was the one who put an end to this custom in our family!

This year I will be aping many Gallic traditions myself, but selectively.

I read that for Christmas dessert the French eat only fruit & cheese! Really? Geez! This is the land of pastry!!! On Christmas I'm allowed a real dessert!!!

Chocolate truffles are a part of a French Christmas, however not with the big meal. This suits me fine; I always have them around for the holidays.

And by the way, the pastry in Austria is just as toothsome. But for my Christmas dessert I'm having a German stollen; a traditional Teutonic fruitcake with marzipan filling. A nod to my ancestry! Also I'm keeping some American customs, too. However, this year it will be mostly Gallic at my house.  

But for New Year's, I might go in a completely different direction. I'm thinking Salmon Wellington and Figgy pudding... No, on second thought forget that! Spanakopita with lots of feta cheese followed by Baklava oozing nuts & honey seems a much better choice!

Since I can't afford any trips abroad in the near future, I'm going to enjoy holiday vacations at home!

Sunday, December 10, 2017

TIS THE SEASON FOR SHARING


Here's a joke I made up and posted on Facebook awhile back:  What's RED & WHITE & BLUE during the holidays?... Answer:  A clinically depressed strip mall Santa!

OK, that was my first share!  What were you expecting cash? Haaa haaa haaa haaah!!!!!

Now I'm going to share 2 recipes I've concocted. As with my jokes they are not going to appeal to everyone. However both are favorites of mine, also they are easy to make. I think that should automatically earn them 2 extra stars. The hardest part is opening a jar. I have small hands, so this is an arduous struggle for me. 

First and foremost, always set a beautiful table, even if you are alone. Use lovely napkins, paper ones are just fine! If you don't have fresh flowers, inexpensive silk ones will do. In fact silk actually works better; you can bend & twist the stems to suit the container unlike real flowers. Also you can mix real & silk together.

 Always treat yourself as you would any important guest you'd want to impress!!!

Embrace the holidays! You don't have to go overboard; you can achieve this on a minimal level with little effort and expense. Add holiday flair to your table with decorations from the Dollar Store. Many of these are beautiful and will get you into the holiday spirit. This year, I'm foregoing a tree and only decorating my fireplace and the big formal table where I'll be enjoying most of my meals.

Below is my favorite way to enjoy spaghetti:

 
 

                                     SPAGHETTI DIANNE

 Cook spaghetti according to directions on the box. -- I like to mix spinach spaghetti with regular. It's more colorful and remember we taste with our eyes almost as much as our tongues.  Just make sure the noodles are exactly the same width! This is of the utmost importance; otherwise it will mess up the cooking time.


After draining spaghetti, dish it onto individual plates; add a dollop or two, or three of sour cream. Then top with a medley of Greek olives with sundried tomatoes & capers. (You can purchase this combination all together in one jar at Walmart under Sam's Choice.) Also add chopped Spanish olives with minced pimiento for extra flavor.


I love deviled eggs and have stuffed them with many different ingredients over the years, below is the latest.
                                                        

 
                                          DEVILED EGGS

                                    (My Current Favorite)

  
Use either large or jumbo eggs. To devil, the 1st step is boiling the hell out of them! (Old lame joke; I'm vacuuming the dust & cobwebs from my mind.)

After cooling, cut them in half, either straight across or length wise. Scoop out the yolks & place them in a small bowl. You may need to cut away some white to create depths, add this white to the yolks in bowl.

Mix in SABRA caramelized onion with smoked paprika hummus. Dip the spoon into the center where all the onions are clustered. Mix well in bowl! Then add generous sprinkles of oregano & mix well; then add more oregano & mix again. After blending well, fill the hollows of the egg whites with this mixture. Sprinkle parsley flakes on top.
 

SIMPLE, EASY, & DELICIOUS!

Saturday, December 2, 2017

PERVERTS & THE PINK PANTHER


As with most women, I've had many experiences with creepy men. Today I'm sharing one that happened in 1964. I was barely 13.

Back then, my mother & I were renting a small apartment in West Palm Beach on weekdays, so I could attend the "special" school there. We came home on weekends and holidays. This entire year was an aberration, but a welcome one! The kids at this school were much nicer than the ones in my hometown. There were no cliques or caste system, everyone was your friend.

My mother loved to shop and West Palm Beach was paradise to her. We'd catch the city bus into what used to be the center of the city. Here, were far more choices than the small coastal town in which we lived. However shopping was tiresome to me, plus I never thought much of my mother's taste. Also she was a pain to be around! Mom was a puncher and a pincher!

Rather than listen to me complain, she'd drop me off at a movie and pick me up later. This was a treat! I'd been going to the movies alone since the age of 9. It was a different world back then! Little kids had more freedom and were usually safe. And I had just become a teenager!

School had ended an hour earlier. There were 3 large theatres close together. Unlike today, all had only one screen but each featured a different film.

I chose the Pink Panther movie. It was titled A Shot in the Dark with Peter Sellers. Also starring was a German actress named Elke Sommer; beautiful as a goddess she was now an up-and-comer in Hollywood. I had recently read all about her in a movie magazine.

The inside of the theatre was enormous. I avoided the long center rows because they were too peopley. Always I would choose one of the two shorter side rows. Nowadays, most have just one big center row because multiple choices are offered under one roof.

I seated myself half-way down the middle of a right row. I was a bit early and cartoons were playing followed by a Three Stooges short. About two rows ahead of me and two seats over sat a man in his late-20's or early 30's. He laughed a lot at the funny scenes and then looked back at me. As he did, his eyes always lingered. This made me uncomfortable.

After the opening credits of the movie he got up and left. I felt a tremendous sense of relief! But then he returned! This time, he sat down in MY row just ONE seat away from me! This was a big red flag and I knew he was up to no good! So I grabbed my purse and took off. I practically had to jump over his long legs to get out, but no way was I remaining in that seat!

Perhaps he had mistaken me for older? I wore lipstick (a light shade) and I dressed like an older teen (but not trampy). Maybe in the dark light of the theatre I looked 15? But 15 is still a kid and he was an adult!

Afterward I walked over to the left side and took the aisle seat in the back row. At the far opposite end sat a middle aged man with a mustache who was around my father's age. He looked harmless enough. But he kept getting up! And I noticed every time he came back he would move closer to me! Finally, there was only ONE empty seat between us. "Oh no, not again!" I whispered to myself with a sigh of disgust. I scooped up my purse and fled this lecher, too.

I stood between the center and right rows wondering where to sit, next. Thankfully, the previous perv was gone, or else well-hidden. I returned to the right row and chose another aisle seat in the event I needed a quick escape. However a few seats away sat two middle-aged women, so I felt relatively safe this time. I enjoyed the rest of the movie in peace.

Never had I experienced that kind of problem inside a theatre before or after, never in all these years. Yet on that late afternoon long ago I encountered double debauchers. Perhaps there was a rare cosmic event in the skies that day that brought them all out.

I never told my mother about those men, fearing she would put an end to my going to the movies alone.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

MY PREMIER FRIEND


From my first memory as a baby in a playpen, she was there, just like a sister. "Sharla" was a neighbor and 4 years my senior.  Her parents were an older couple, both over 55 years of age. They felt like extended family and lived just down the highway.

Sharla had been adopted from an Eastern European country as an infant. Her mom Jayne in particular cherished her. She overindulged Sharla, spoiling her rotten. Even Sharla's uncle called her a brat and swore he'd never take her in if anything should happen to his sister.

There was no denying that Sharla was spoiled and entitled, also she was mouthy and disrespectful to everyone, including adults. My father considered her a bad influence and my mother tolerated her because she was constantly asking favors from her mother, Jayne. I adored Sharla for those same reasons my parent's disliked her. I found her daring and way cool!

Sharla knew I idolized her and often used it to her own amusement. She wasn't kind. I was always made to feel she was doing me a favor with her company and was merely enduring me. There were lots of "You're just a dumb kid, you don't know anything" put-downs. Also it was automatically assumed that she had first choice of everything and I was supposed to be content with sloppy seconds. Also if we went someplace where there were kids her age or older, I suddenly became disposable or a non-entity.

Whenever she visited, we didn't stick around the property. We went exploring! This was back in the days before Florida was consumed by concrete. Miles and miles of scenic wilderness waited to be discovered. It made me feel as if I'd traveled back in time and it was exciting!

Sharla was a tomboy but then so was I, plus I could go her a few better. Sharla was terrified of leeches and spiders, I am not. (Bring on their slimy and hairy little butts, I'll kick them!) Those things never rattled me the way they do most girls.

Also because she was older, Sharla was more interesting to be around. I was exposed to a wider expanse of knowledge. The kids my age only knew things I knew and I found them boring.

And she was a physically beautiful child! Her eyes had an upward slant that gave her an exotic look, probably a recessive gene from the Mongol warriors who invaded her birth country centuries ago. Her frame was slender and sinewy; and she was born tan. Long dark hair hung down her shoulders like melted chocolate.

Everything about her was awesome!

My grandfather was a chain smoker. I thought smoking looked like fun and declared that I was going to be a smoker when I grew up. Well, Sharla gave me quite a lecture! "It's a dirty, unhealthy habit," she declared. This dissuaded me!

My family stayed in close touch with hers when we moved down the coast to Hobe Sound. But we were there only briefly.

After we moved back to Stuart, we rented a 100 acre property with a big lake in front and several small ponds in the back. Friends and I swam in the lake and had great fun on the rowboat as well. My father also bought me a horse. Sharla visited more frequently than ever!

She was an experienced horsewoman while still in Elementary school due to professional riding lessons. (Hey, I said she was awesome!) But I was the kid who owned a horse!

But the horse was a stallion that proved temperamental and unpredictable, so my parents forbade me to ride unsupervised. However Sharla knew how to handle a horse! When she visited, Sharla took the reins and I held onto her. Among my happiest memories are the 2 of us riding double and cantering across the field in front of the lake.

During the autumn of 1959 everything changed! I entered Third Grade and Sharla Junior High. By 1960 we had left the sprawling house on the lake and the horse was sold. My parents purchased what was to be our permanent home, a house on the St. Lucie River atop a steep hill in the back that showcased an amazing view. But my memories of that place are mostly terrible.

Sharla almost completely disappeared from my life. Her mother Jayne dropped by from time-to-time, but usually alone.

My father noticed I was sad. He explained that unfortunately we were at an age where 4 years made a tremendous difference. "Later, when you're both adults, you'll be friends again," he assured me.

The following year Jayne visited and Sharla came too! I almost didn't recognize her! She had undergone a growth spurt and was now almost 6 feet tall! -- I was still 4 feet whatever and in the Fourth Grade. Sharla's long straight hair which I had so admired was now short and curly. I felt as if the friend I'd known was dead and replaced by this adult stranger. However, this encounter made it easier for me to move on.

Several years passed, I was now 14. A 7-Eleven was only a brisk 15 minute walk from my house. Upon my way there, 3 older teenage girls suddenly emerged in front of me from a side street.  The middle one was Sharla! They were boisterous and all were smoking cigarettes.

Sharla must have felt my eyes penetrating the back of her head. She turned, and then did a double take. On her second look, her eyes narrowed. I got the message! I was being issued a warning! I must keep my distance and not embarrass her in front of her older much cooler friends.

The next block they turned. I watched them walk off, all puffing away on their cigarettes. It's a peculiar feeling to see someone who was a significant part of your history, someone with whom you made memories and now that person may as well be a stranger.

I saw her briefly for the last time when I was 19. My father and I entered the drive-thru at a bank. I was on the passenger side in sunglasses. Sharla was the lone teller! Her hair was cut in a pixie style and bleached platinum; this look complemented her dark complexion and eyes. She was strikingly attractive!

When she saw our name on the slip, she looked up and curiously stared at me. I didn't acknowledge her.

As we pulled away, my father asked, "Wasn't that what's-her-name with the slanty eyes who was your friend?"

"Yeah, that was her," I replied.

"So why didn't you speak to her?" he wanted to know.

"That friendship ended years ago," I told him. The water in my reservoir was fresh and I wanted to keep it that way.

It seems incredible to me that If Sharla is alive today; she's now 70 years old!

A current friend suggested I look her up online and contact her. However I have no interest. Sharla was the one who left and has never made any attempt to contact me during all those years. We were friends only because we we're thrown together by our parents. Given a choice, she would never have chosen me. And in retrospect, she wasn't that wonderful a friend.

Sharla's only a part of my history now, as are my deceased parents.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

COFFEE IS OK, BUT TEA'S FOR ME


A family friend was horrified because my parents allowed me to drink coffee as a pre-schooler. Actually I started as a toddler. After meals, the members of my family often left a couple gulps behind in their cups. I would toddle around the table and drink them.  

At age 4, I was served my own cup at each meal. My parents didn't think it was any big deal. I thought all little kids drank coffee until I had a sleepover at a friend's house. Needless to say, I wasn't served coffee there.

On a family vacation in the mountains I ordered a cup for breakfast in a restaurant. I was 7 years old. The waitress was hesitant to serve me one until my parents insisted. As she placed the cup down in front of me she scolded. "Don't you know coffee turns little girl's feet black!"

I knew she was full of something else. Otherwise, I would have been coal black up to my private regions.

And it did cause concern with other people. When I was 14 a Dentist told my mother that I had smoking stains on my teeth! But my mother knew better. "She drinks a lot of coffee," Mom told him.

However for special occasions or afternoon company, coffee was never served, it was always tea! This felt like a treat! In comparison coffee seemed ordinary.

By the time I reached my 20's I was sick of coffee and would only drink tea. I'd fallen in love with all the flavored teas new to the market. I even studied tasseology and learned to read tea leaves.

In my 40's I made a convert, of sorts. My father announced he also was sick of coffee and henceforth wanted to be served tea, but none of that flavored junk that I like.

Right around this time, coffee houses were springing up as fancy flavored java became popular. Suddenly coffee was looking a lot more interesting. But I sure didn't like the price! However I soon discovered that I could create a superior concoction at home with instant coffee, flavorings, & toppings. It isn't rocket science. But eventually I tired of those, too.
 
An occasional cup still hits the spot. My favorite now is hazelnut mixed with cinnamon; and sometimes I enjoy a heaping spoonful of chocolate in my coffee. But mostly, I drink tea. I find it to be more refreshing.

Coffee is still the work horse no matter how you fancy it up. Tea is the show pony and deserves nothing less than to be served in a lovely cup & saucer from an elegant teapot. Tea will always be the more special.

Thursday, October 26, 2017

UGH, STILL IN THE DARK


All of my hurricane preparations remain in place! The season is not over. I've been informed it now ends December 1 and not November 1. Once-upon-a-time it was October 1, but that was before Global Warming which fools still continue to deny. -- Ugh! Before long, hurricane season will be year round!

Last year we had a terrifyingly close call with hurricane Matthew in October when everyone was starting to feel safe. Recently, it was Irma. Fortunately, we were spared the worst here on the Atlantic Coast, although we did not go unscathed. Irma was a gigantic monster!

After Matthew, my house remained boarded into November. But it felt like forever!

Our 1st cool spell has arrived and I am unable to open my windows to fully enjoy it!

Again and for a longer span this time I am remaining boarded. It's gloomy and depressing inside, however I have so much difficulty finding someone to board and unboard me, I figure it saves me stress! And money! Rarely, have I found someone willing to do it for free or even at a reasonable price. There are lots of gougers out there! And as a woman alone I'm a special target.

When the tropics are tranquil, I look forward to autumn. I love the early evening darkness it brings. I find it calming and it heralds the best part of the year, the holidays. However this boarded up darkness feels unnatural and confining.

I recall the 2004 hurricanes with horror. Florida was slammed by four! Here on the east coast we were hit by two, just three weeks apart to the day. My friend Margaret who lived in the center of the state suffered the fury of all four!

Until I moved to Vero Beach, I experienced only two hurricanes in 48 years on the Treasure Coast. I've been in Vero for 18 years now and have been hit by four! Actually five since Irma struck here as a category 1!

Now, every year starting in late summer I freak out!  One day we will get a direct hit from a category 5! Stronger storms are forming than what we've experienced in the past. Even a category 4 is catastrophic! Heck, even a 3 or less can be!

Unlike last year, all the signs were apparent that we were in for a hurricane! Spring and summer were unusually dry. When this happens nature over compensates by sending one. Plus the sea turtles were building their nests high in the dunes rather than along the shore; another ominous sign!

I was telling everyone way back in July that we were in for a hurricane this season! Last year I saw Matthew coming in my tea leaves. Some people now accuse me of being some kind of witch!

A deadly hurricane gave the Treasure Coast its name. A gold and jewel laden Spanish fleet sailed directly into one in 1716. Its treasures still turn up in our waters. This entire area is part of the old Spanish Main. But to me, it's become hurricane alley!

I am hoping, praying, and wishing no more hurricanes will be making landfall in the future! Let them all blow out to sea and dissipate! Like everyone else, I need to get on with my life.

Glad I didn't delay my cataract surgery or I'd have been in the dark in a worse way, it would have been permanent!

Saturday, October 21, 2017

FARSIGHTED AGAIN!!!


My cataract surgeries were performed a week apart. These lenses  are supposed to last a lifetime. This is wonderful news!!!

The first surgery was by far the smoothest. I don't remember anything after they gave me the sedative. It was as if I slept thru the procedure, which I probably did. It was the easiest surgery I'll ever have.

Afterward, I was offered snacks. (I'd not been allowed anything to eat or drink since 3:00 AM that morning. (But the day before I enjoyed a big holiday style meal.) After surgery, I should have been starving, but I wasn't. And I didn't miss coffee or tea one bit, but I was dying for a glass of water! Ugh, their snacks sucked and almost made me throw up!

That day was the beginning of a tropical front moving thru bringing almost non-stop rain for a week. Fortunately, I had my umbrella and I use my garage door as my main entry. This prevented me from getting soaked when the shuttle brought me home.

I remained woozy for awhile afterward, but when the fog lifted my vision was amazingly sharper. The eye was sore; I saw streamers of light and weird flashing in my peripheral vision, along with a strange rash under that eye. But it was more discomfort than pain. I didn't require even an aspirin.

When I sat down to watch television that night suddenly I had High Def TV! -- I don't subscribe to it, but that's how everything looks now! I didn't realize my vision had declined to that extend.

The next morning when I looked around, my first thought was that I need to remove myself from Facebook and start cleaning my house! And mind you my windows are still boarded plus it was dark and stormy outside.

The following day, I felt I could drive to the grocery store, however my street was flooded and the rain showed no sign of ceasing. Water was over my ankles by the mailbox and up to my calves further down the road. I have an older, low-built car. If water splashes up into the fan belt my steering wheel locks, it wasn't worth the risk!

I was forced to dip into my storm pantry. Thanks to hurricane Irma it was well stocked!

My snowbird friend Marie called to tell me she would be returning the Saturday after my next surgery. Her refrigerator had died over the summer, so she needed to use my garage freezer. Thanks to an active hurricane season there was plenty of free space.

The day before my 2nd surgery, I was finally able to go grocery shopping. When I returned, I discovered my garage freezer leaking! I phoned Jetson Appliances and asked for the cheapest 5 ft. freezer they had and how soon they could deliver. In the morning, I was told. I informed them I was having surgery then.

Early the next AM, the shuttle came. This surgery was far more unpleasant.

In the waiting area is a large TV screen set on a Golden Oldies channel. Previously, I listened to Disco tunes I hadn't heard in 30 plus years. Now it was 1960's tunes from my High School days. This dated music did not make me feel young; it had the opposite effect.

Unlike the previous time, I was awake more during this surgery. My left eye was dilated so large that the iris was nearly invisible. An excruciatingly bright light was shined directly into it. It felt like torture!!! I wanted to close my eye but couldn't and my head was taped down so I couldn't turn away.

I'd been given anti-nausea medication this time, so I was starving afterward! And the snacks they offered were still crappy! For what this procedure cost; I should have been given a 4 egg French omelet, cheddar biscuits, pecan pancakes with fresh strawberries & whipped cream, and a large mocha latte to wash everything down!

On a trip to Spain, Portugal, and Morocco back in 1977 I met a lady who was a young bride in Nazi occupied Holland. She said the Dutch wanted to throttle the American pilots for dropping chocolate bars while the people were starving! -- I know this is a silly, invalid comparison; but that's what popped into my head as I was chowing down on the cereal bars I'd brought from home.

Next, I waited around for what seemed forever for a post operation exam before the shuttle driver could bring me home. Again, I'd been given huge dark sunglasses that went over my eye brows and covered the sides of my eyes.

I wasn't home even long enough to change clothes when the new freezer arrived. However, it was damaged and the wrong size!!!  I wanted an upright 5 ft. freezer and this one was 5 cubic ft.! It wouldn't hold all of my stuff, much less Marie's, too! Plus it had a broken handle! I sent it back for a replacement. This was another big expense at the wrong time!!!

My vision didn't return nearly as fast as before. I was literally blind in my left eye most of the next day. The following one, it returned, but was exactly the same bad sight as before the procedure! -- However I was told that each eye responds differently and it would come around eventually.

Now that my vision is fully restored, I'd like to take an exotic trip to make the most of it, however these peepers didn't come cheap, so that's out of the question for the near future.  :(

Hopefully in my next incarnation I'll have bionic eyes; however they must have remote viewing and be able shoot fire or lasers! Now THAT would really be fun!!!

Monday, October 2, 2017

YIKES, WHAT'S THIS NOW


That was my reaction upon learning I had cataract issues.
 
One of my favorite cartoon strips BIZARRO recently featured a man declaring himself "Officially Old" because he wasted 10 minutes chasing an eye floater with a fly swatter! Good grief! For the last 20 years I've been battling a giant hornet in my right eye!

Back in 2012 during my first visit to the Florida Eye Institute I was warned this giant floater would someday come apart, and when it did, the retina in that eye was liable to come unattached. This has been my worry ever since without any thought to cataracts.

Now I must have cataract surgery I can barely afford. (No Insurance & ineligible for Medicare.) The alternative is going blind!!! 

Between this hurricane season, the expense of my upcoming surgery, and this insane Trump presidency; I haven't been able to sleep!

Usually, I get up and watch a movie on my DVR.  Often these late night movies are the ones that stand out most in my mind. But not anymore! These nights I can't even concentrate enough to follow a plot, not to mention my TV screen is getting ever more blurry.

A friend told me that cataract surgery is a right of passage as we age. -- Then how come old people in centuries past weren't all blind? Sure their life spans were shorter, yet many who survived into dotage managed to hang on to at least most of their sight. Guess it's all in the genes.

I was required to take a physical exam before any surgery could be performed, one more added expense!!! Personally, I think if I can walk thru the door under my own power I'm fit for the procedure, but they disagreed. Geez, now I had to find a walk-in clinic! With my waning vision I was almost scared to drive. I couldn't see road signs until I was right on top of them!

I had no problems with familiar places, but having to locate an unknown address in busy traffic added to my nightmares! 

Fortunately, after my eyes were measured for surgery the Institute recommended a clinic close to them that was easy to find. And when I showed up to schedule an exam they did it right away! Also the Eye Institute has a shuttle that will pick me up and bring me home. My right eye is the worst and will be first. 

Now I can stop practicing saying and pronouncing, "Hola & donde esta el bano?" since both surgeries will be performed here in Vero Beach. And with the recent earthquakes in Mexico this probably is for the best. Just imagine being in the middle of eye surgery (or any surgery) when an earthquake strikes! Now that is anxiety inducing!!!

This is a simple outpatient procedure. I'm far more stressed and tearing my hair out over the COST, not the surgery!

November 1, the post Halloween horror arrives, my property taxes are due. UGH!!! Mine are close to $2000! I think that amount is crazy for the place I have!

I just hope we don't get hit with anymore hurricanes in the near future. With my high hurricane deductible it would be at least 2020 before I could afford any repairs to my home!

I may come to regret not expatriating to the Third World. However I didn't find it to be the retiree paradise all the international publications claimed. What I have here, even with my limited funds and hurricanes, is more of a paradise!

Saturday, September 16, 2017

THE THREATENING MONSTER


When I unfolded my newspaper Saturday AM 9-9-17 it read:  STATE OF FEAR in all capital letters. I thought that was an understatement!  Irma a category 5 hurricane was headed directly toward us! A CAT 5 is a roof-ripper! Even if it weakened to a 4 it would still be catastrophic! I wondered if I would have a house remaining or even be alive on Monday.

I joked that if I survived I would be poor, homeless, & blind! But the joke was too close to reality to be funny. At least my house was insured although my body is not. And hurricane deductibles are high and I needed that money for my cataract surgery! This couldn't be happening at a worse time!

On the other hand, if I didn't survive it would solve all of my problems. However, there's a long list of people I do not want to be reunited with in the afterlife! So I had to get myself together!  

I tried to determine what I needed to save and what I was willing to sacrifice to the storm. I wasn't actually willing to sacrifice anything but I had no choice. And some of my choices I started to reconsider afterward, such as my bathing suit. Despite a thorough washing it still smelled of the Galapagos Islands from my trip 2 summers ago. I didn't want to part with it or any of my souvenirs from Thailand. None of these were Sophie's choices, but all of my things are precious to me.

Everything I wanted to save needed to be downstairs; even then I could still lose everything due to the category of this storm. By the end of the day every muscle in my body ached from lugging things down those stairs.

I put together a grab & go bag with all of my important papers, cash, and several changes of clothes in the event I had to evacuate to a FEMA trailer, later. However I was determined NOT to spend the storm in a shelter. Others I'd known who rode a hurricane out in one swore they'd never do it again. And these are people who enjoy the company of others. I am not one of those! At least in my home I'd only have to deal with hurricane drama without the added people drama too.

My safe room has always been the windowless downstairs bathroom. However, with a storm of this magnitude I was starting to rethink that. Should my cathedral ceiling be peeled back or the front door go flying away, I doubt the bathroom door would hold  once the storm was inside. And if the garage doors should bend, my car could be blown right thru the bathroom wall killing me inside! -- During hurricane David, a lesser hurricane back in Stuart, my father's car was blown from our carport and down the driveway.

I decided my new safe area would be the back hallway. It didn't have a door to close, but it was next to 2 rooms I could quickly escape into and hope at least one would hold.
 
Before I went to bed that night I planned to pull the mattress off the daybed in my guestroom and push it off the loft railing onto the carpet below rather than try to drag it down the stairs. I wondered if I'd ever feel the comfort of my own bed again.

Food was plentiful in my storm pantry. And besides my 2 huge plastic jugs & lots of empty milk bottles, I filled everything that would hold tap water, including waste baskets & tea kettles. My water was divided into 3 categories: drinking, washing, & flushing.

Earlier in the week, I called number after number in desperation trying to find someone to board my house. Mostly, I got answering machines. The few who picked-up told me they were too busy. One suggested I call a church! I felt they were telling me I didn't have a prayer!

Finally, one man phoned me back! He said he would be here noon Friday to board up my house.

Thursday afternoon, my neighbors across the street astounded me! After letting me twist-in-the -wind during 4 previous hurricanes they offered to board me! By now I had the only house in the neighborhood unprotected. I thanked them, but a man was coming noon the following day.

But then, Friday came and it was getting late in the afternoon and storm winds would be arriving Saturday. The man I hired was running way behind schedule still boarding other people. I was starting to panic! So I called my neighbors. But I could tell they were not happy about it.

They boarded-up my house and I'm grateful! But they made it clear they would NOT be unboarding. One even told me, "If you need anything else, knock on our door and then keep moving." -- Geez, tell me how you really feel!

The man I hired finally showed up around 5:00 PM Saturday. I must have been dead last on his list!!! I paid him to repair a board that came loose and was hanging from my chimney. Apparently, that previous workman I'd hired to replace rotting wood had missed more than a few places!

By Saturday afternoon, Irma had shifted farther west. We were out of the cone but due to the gigantic size of this storm we would still be in for a wild ride on Sunday!

Due to that shift in direction we were spared the worst of Irma, although Sunday became wild and wicked starting in late afternoon. I was praying my electricity would hold long enough to watch the season premiere of Outlander. -- What a difference a day makes!

As I watched the show, I listened to the fierce howling winds outside and the heavy rains besieging the house; I heard the exploding of power going out in the next neighborhood over. I held my breath.

At 11:00 PM when I went to bed, I was so confident of not losing power that I left both my flashlight & hurricane lamp downstairs. It was something I came to regret! The power went out at midnight!

The next morning I would not be enjoying the large celebration breakfast I planned on preparing. My electricity would not be restored until around 5:30 PM. But I was still without TV, Internet, and a phone. The small battery-operated pad I'd purchased for my trips refused to connect. It told me what to do, but offered no direction as to how. I wanted to smash it on the floor!

I remember going thru hurricane Della when I was 14 and David when I was 28. Both times, when the power was restored EVERYTHING came back at once! And our landlines worked even during hurricanes! In fact, my phones still worked during and after hurricanes right up until I subscribed to the bundle in 2010. So there's something to be said for the good old days. Della & David were Stuart hurricanes.

After moving to Vero Beach came Irene, Frances, Jeane, and Wilma! The place my father swore never got hit by hurricanes due to its angle on the map! I knew better, but you couldn't tell him anything.

Tuesday, became my outside clean-up day, starting early and still sore; I picked up branches in my yard and raked leaves. My hands & feet became cut, blistered and bug-bitten. My clothes were soaked in sweat. This is Florida after all and it's still summer. Around mid- afternoon I'd had enough and decided to save the rest for my yard man. But plenty of work was still awaiting me inside.

Thankfully, there was no damage to the house itself.

Wednesday, unable to reach me, my friend Rose, fearing I was dead or injured drove over. I was still without phone, internet, or TV. We used her cell phone to report the problem to ATT. They told us they were aware of the issue, but didn't seem optimistic about resolving it anytime soon. But at least I had light and air-conditioning which many in Florida were still without.

If not for my daily newspaper I would have no idea what was going on in the outside world! Friday was a joyous day when everything was at last restored! However my boards are remaining up until hurricane season ends in November!

Thursday, September 7, 2017

FLASHING WARNING LIGHTS


Not long ago, I watched a movie on my DVR titled: Would You Rather. The premise: A sadistic billionaire holds a contest and he pays the survivor's bills for the duration of their life. Of course I was rooting for the young and pretty vegetarian with the sickly brother.

The contest consisted of a series of choices all of them unpleasant to say the least. Choices such as would you rather have all your fingernails yanked out by pliers or your head held under in a barrel of urine for two minutes? Next question, do you choose to have a nail hammered thru your tongue or receive a major electric shock to your privates, and on and on.

Just recently, I had an eye exam at Sears. My right eye was by far the worst. I joked that I needed a monocle.  But the Optometrist was concerned about the pin prick flashes of light I kept seeing. He strongly suggested that I schedule an appointment at the Florida Eye Institute.

"If those lights become streaks or resemble lightning seek medical attention immediately," he told me.

Two nights later, I got up to use the bathroom and both times I saw all kinds of streaks and lights in my right eye! Alarmed, I was unable to go back to sleep.

First thing the following AM, I set up an appointment with the Eye Institute. Then I phoned Sears and told them to put my order for the 3 pairs of glasses on hold. If cataract surgery was upcoming my prescription would change.

Suddenly I could relate to the movie dilemmas above. I was faced with the choice of a tremendous hit to my already low savings or going blind! And there is no billionaire in this picture except for that piece of human excrement in the White House, the one who promised affordable health care for everyone. I didn't vote for him because I knew there was no way this pompous buffoon could ever deliver. His current political party fought tooth & nail against it. I'll never forget those hollers of "Let them die!" followed by laughter during a previous election season.

I contacted a Medical Tourism site online. Tijuana was the cheapest, however that's a border town with a reputation and I'd fear for my life! The next was Cancun, this sounded better, like a vacation without fun.

However, my friend Marie, who has been to Mexico, more recently than I have, said even Cancun is not safe anymore. Back in the 1970's, Acapulco was a beautiful (although swelteringly hot) tourist spot. I was there, twice. Now it has become so crime ridden and dangerous the tourists avoid it! Still Cancun might be my only affordable option.

After a thorough exam at the Florida Eye Institute, I was hit with the news that cataract surgery was required on BOTH eyes!!! I don't have Insurance and despite my age I don't qualify for Medicare due to my history. And I don't qualify for Medicaid because I'm just poor, not destitute.

The Florida Eye Institute is lenient with low income people as to prevent them from going blind. They will perform the surgery at their rock bottom price. But even that is sky high to someone like me! Plus I just had lots of expensive major repairs to the outside of my home! But I budgeted for those and cut-back and went without. This is a tremendous out-of-the-blue expense!

And now because it's TWO eyes rather than one, this makes Mexico less of a bargain. Only one eye can be operated on at a time. This means I'd have to hang around Cancun longer. Besides the cost of airfare, there's the hotel fee, meals, taxis, etc...Also I'd be away from my home during peak hurricane season. I need to stay for damage control.

So I will probably have the surgery here. I just hope there are no complications to further run up the price.

I'm only 66, I thought it would be another 10 years at least before I'd be faced with the health issues I'm now experiencing. My legs feel as if they've been shot with Novocain from the knees down due to Peripheral Neuropathy. Fortunately, there is no pain now, just numbness. Unlike my Diverticulitis!  According to Google the frequent burning sensation in my left arm is nerve damage. And then this!

Suddenly I'm feeling elderly.

And now a major hurricane, Irma is poised to strike and turn our beautiful Treasure Coast into a junk yard.  Oh no!!! That's all I need!!!

Friday, September 1, 2017

A HUNDRED ACRES OF HEAVEN


Early summer 1958 my family moved from Hobe Sound, (a place tantamount to paradise in my mind) back up the coast to Stuart.  My father had just landed a high paying job there and understandably wanted a shorter drive to work. Still I was quite unhappy about moving. I loved our rental home on the Intracoastal Waterway and its proximity to the ocean. Nothing could top that, I thought!

But I was wrong! We moved into a sprawling house in the middle of a hundred acres. A private lake graced the front and several small ponds were scattered in the back, along with a fresh water spring.

The lake was beautiful! It formed in a lopsided figure eight with a little arched white bridge over the narrowest part. We frequently fished there. Also we had a small blue row boat. Wild ducks lived on the lake and later my grandfather added tame ones, too. On the south side was a mango grove and all around was an abundance of beautiful nature. It was just like living in a private park! To enter the property, one had to drive thru huge white gates.

The house was by far the largest and best one ever! Visitors often asked if we got lost. My favorite room was the spacious library. It featured a fireplace, a beautiful Oriental carpet, and a big picture window overlooking the lake. This adjoined a large family room with high glass windows on 3 sides that half overlooked the lake and half overlooked the mango grove. The home had long halls on opposite sides. At the end of one stood a spot that could be transformed into a room surrounded by nothing but a circle of doors. My friends and I used to sit in the middle with a candle and tell ghost stories. The house even featured a special room to enjoy coffee and dessert overlooking the lake. This place was nothing short of amazing!

As before, we were only renters, but my parents assured me that we would not be moving again. The owner was a German with a "VON" in front of his last name. How cool was that! These truly were days of splendor.

Only months after moving there, my father bought me my heart's desire, a horse! Suddenly, I became quite the popular little girl! Now, lots of kids wanted to visit and ride it. They also enjoyed the rowboat, plus we swam in the big front lake and the back pond closest to the house. Of course we had to be wary of alligators, (a real problem in Florida) but the element of danger added to the fun! Friends invited other friends, even older kids now wanted to know me. I reveled in my good fortune and thought it would last forever, but sadly life doesn't work that way.

My glorious childhood was soon to end.

One day, the owner came to visit and noticed the horse. Suddenly our rent went up! My parents grumbled, but paid. But it was quickly raised again, and again! My folks were livid; we were maintaining these vast acres at our own expense! But apparently the guy didn't want a horse on his property.

Yes, the horse was temperamental and did some damage, but it was repaired at our expense.

One afternoon I came home from school and the horse was gone. He'd been sold! I was sad, but not surprised. My parents felt he was dangerous and had become a potential lawsuit as well as a rent issue.

Then one autumn evening as my family sat around watching the nightly news, my brother asked our mother, "Do you want to start taking stuff over to the new house, tomorrow?"

"New house!!!" I exclaimed. "What new house???"

"We've moving," Mom replied in a casual tone. "We bought a house on the St. Lucie River."

This was a major shock! I wasn't aware they had been even shopping for a house!

"But I love it here!" I protested.

"Oh, but you'll like this new house much better!" my grandfather replied.

Well I HATED it from the moment I saw it! It was less than half the size of the lake house and the inside had a weird clinical feel. It stood on barely one acre with noisy and intrusive neighbors around us. I felt closed in. Nothing about it felt like home to me!

Perhaps it was bad Feng shiu, strangely our lives all seemed to quickly unravel and go downhill after moving there.

My brother was drafted into the army. He was later honorably discharged due to medical issues, but became a different person after discovering alcohol, there. My grandfather died a year after our move. We quickly went from a family of five to a family of three. My mother's unhinged nature emerged and expanded 10 fold. The toxic fallout landed fully on me. Five years later my father lost his job thru no fault of his own. Our lives continued on that downward path with many far worse things yet to come.

Living there, I felt as if I was treading water with sharks in the distance circling closer, while at the same time struggling not to drown. That feeling has never gone away.

My father finally sold that place in 1998 and I was delighted. We moved to Vero Beach in January of 99.

Our river house was hardly cheap, by 1960 standards the price was considered high end. However, we were actually paying for the mile wide river view and the 150 ft dock, below. This is what my mother fell in love with and why we bought that house.

She imagined living there would be like heaven, she told me later, but instead experienced only misery. Well, the previous place had felt like heaven to me!

For decades to come, not one single day would pass when I did not think of the lake house. I often dreamed of buying it. My heart would sink whenever we drove past the property.

In my late 30's, I heard the property had been sold to a developer. I was horrified to learn the lake and all the ponds had been filled killing everything in them. And the wild ducks would no longer have a home there. Also the mango grove had been bulldozed. My father said all of this was done to create ground to build more houses.

This threw me deeper into darker depths of depression during an already wretched period. I'm thankful every day those times are gone.

Our lives are made up of not just chapters, but many entirely different books and I'm not ready for this one to end. My current home is the one that restored my happiness.

Each day is filled with an assortment of joys and victories and I savor all of my small creature comforts. They make it worth living. But if I had the power, I would return to being eight years old again and freeze that time forever! My world felt almost magical then! Money or health worries were as remote as the constellation Cassiopeia. It was a period consisting of pure joy and peace of mind, now gone forever.

Friday, August 25, 2017

UGH, NOOO, GLASSES AGAIN!


A miracle occurred after Vero Beach was hit with the back-to-back hurricanes of 2004! My far-sighted vision was magically restored! I had been near-sighted since the age of 16. Now once again miraculously I could see the detail on leaves in neighbor's yards and much, much more! Of course my near-sighted vision was now completely gone, but this was way better!

"You have second sight," the optometrist told me.

"Well, I have had many experiences that fall under the supernatural category since my father's death," I replied.

"No, no, no," she said. "It has nothing to do with dead people!"

The more I think about it, actually it does!  It's one of those milestones on the march toward death after age 50.

Also she warned this blessing was only temporary and not to become too fond of it.

But I felt liberated! Now I was able to drive, go to movies, attend live shows, and watch TV without glasses and actually be able to see! It was a wondrous sensation!

Also I conquered my fear of public speaking at Business Networking events, I could see faces clearly now without being self-conscious about wearing glasses or dealing with the bother and discomfort of contact lenses. I hated those things!  Life was beautiful now.

Fast forward to the present! Recently, I noticed I was having difficulty seeing things on my large screen TV. My first thought was to buy an even bigger screen; however those are expense, so I just moved my chair up closer.

Then I noticed the print online, in newspapers, and magazines was becoming blurred and faint. I bought the strongest pair of Dollar Store glasses available, they helped some, but not enough. I found myself continually switching back and forth between pairs depending on the print before me. Also I could no longer see the time on my kitchen clock from the living room.

Suddenly it was as if a curse had fallen upon me. I ended up having to purchase 3 pairs of glasses; one for computer, one for TV, and a pair of sunglasses for driving. And worse the optometrist said in a year I'd probably need an entirely new trio because I'd reached the age where my vision would be rapidly changing.

Another thing that really bugs me is that I can no longer wear lots of cute sunglasses to match my outfits. Now I'm back to one boring, neutral pair that must go with everything! I'll admit this is a big kick in my vanity! I may be a fossil, but otherwise I'm a magnificent and dang well preserved one!

I just wish I didn't loathe the taste of carrots! Perhaps then, I wouldn't be saddled with glasses again. Also I'm seeing pin prick flashes of light in my right eye.

Guess I should be grateful that my second sight lasted thru my exploratory adventures to Ecuador and Thailand. Those trips were amazing! However I won't be expatriating to either.

But the worst news of all is the cataract surgery in my future according to the optometrist. Guess I should start researching Third World countries that can perform this procedure at a price I can afford since I lack Insurance and am ineligible for Medicare.

I want to continue my foreign travels, but I hoped it would be as a tourist and not a patient.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

A SONG & DANCE & A FEW BUGS, TOO!


I will always remember that day almost 10 years ago when everything seemed to be going wrong. For the first time in years I broke down in sobs at the foot of my stairs. And that night something strange happened. I experienced a vivid dream. One that I could have sworn was real!

In it, I was awakened by a frantic scratching on my bedroom door. It wouldn't cease no matter how hard I tried to ignore it and it disturbed, even frightened me! Also it seemed to be growing stronger! Something was desperate to get inside! I was beginning to panic.
 
Suddenly the door flew open! I was terrified! But nothing was there. Then, I felt something jump onto my bed!

I peeked over the covers and saw my dog Coco who had been dead for several years. But here she was, tail wagging wildly as she trotted towards me. I felt relieved and happy. She licked my face as I petted her. Then she curled up beside me with my arms over her and we fell asleep together.

The next morning she was gone. But I knew she had been there! I found it mystifying that with all the people I'd lost to death, it was my dog who came to comfort me. And I thought it odd that I didn't smell her. I could always tell when my deceased father was visiting because I could smell him. He had a distinctive body aroma.

I used to spray her with Lollipup (do they still make it?) for fleas. It made her smell like Tootsie Pops.

In fact I made up a little number I used to sing to her and I choreographed it, too. The cat enjoyed my show as well!  Since I don't read or write music, you're going to have to imagine my tune in your head. Or perhaps one day I'll have to go on YouTube to perform these little pieces of mine.  --- NOT!!! Don't hold your breath.

This is in memory of Coco.

  

COCO THE DOG DITTY:
 

(Swing your hips and clap high to one side.)

Fleas on my bum!

Fleas on my bum!
 
(Skip around in a circle with your hands on your hips.)

My name is Coco and I've fleas on my bum

So stick around and pet me cause I'd love to give you some!
 
(Now skip again flapping your arms alternating with jazz hands raised wide!)

Grin like a monkey when you start to smelling funky

Pick the lice from your hair

And your filthy underwear
 
(Sway side to side & clapping your hands while singing.)

Mosquitoes and fleas!

Mosquitoes and fleas!

People have mosquitoes and dogs have fleas
 
(The next steps are freeform and all up to you!)

Dance the bugs that bite you boogie woogie

Dance the bugs that bite you boogie woogie.

  
Sometimes, I find myself still singing this! If you know me at all, you know I like to get silly.