I heard a scream! Actually, it was more like a shriek, and a
shrill one at that, then another! I feared someone's arm was caught in a threshing
machine or wood chipper! I raced to the window. A teenage girl was on her knees
hugging the legs of a neighbor's son.
"WHY!?" she wailed almost howling as she clutched
his legs even tighter. "Waaaaaah," she cried as tears streamed down her
puffy red face.
The lad glanced up and noticed me watching from my window.
-- Probably others were too, since this was an otherwise quiet Sunday afternoon.
Embarrassed, he picked her up by the arms and placed her
inside a car as she sobbed loudly the entire time. He got in the driver's side
and they took off. Ahhh young love!
This happened years ago but remains vivid in my mind.
Inexplicably
this drama queen remained in the picture for several years after, always as
loud and hysterical as ever! Usually she went into histrionics whenever I was
trying to read. Geez, that's what I get for leaving my windows open!
I recall the boy asking her a simple, innocent question. She
chose to perceive it in the wrong tone
of voice and read all manner of things into it! The poor kid tried to explain and even apologized, but she wouldn't let him or drop it. This gave me the urge to go
outside and punch her! But I knew better than to get involved. My relationship
with this family amounted to nothing more than a quick wave from time-to-time.
I wondered where the lad's mother was during all of this.
She was a stay-at-home-mom.Why didn't she come out there and slap this girl
silly! Perhaps the boy told his mom not to interfere with his love life. However,
I think this is a case where either Mom or Dad needed to parent-up!
This kid was being abused mentally and damaged
psychologically. What was disturbing is that the boy was putting up with this
and accepting it. This made me wonder about his family dynamics. And I certainly
remember mine well!
I had some truly toxic people in my life growing up whom I
should have exorcised immediately. Whenever I cried and complained to my mother
I was scolded and told, "That's just their way and you have to learn to
accept people as they are, not how you want them to be!" -- NO YOU DON'T!!!
That was terrible advice!!!
My mother was a puncher, slapper, pincher, & kicker. This
accelerated after my grandfather's death when she knew she could get away with
it. The pinching & kicking usually happened under the table in public. The
punching & slapping occurred in private.
Frequently I was told
by her, "When your husband beats you, don't come running home to us, we
don't want you!" She was grooming me to be an abused wife!
I don't know
where this came from; my father was never abusive toward her. Perhaps this was
my punishment for being a disappointment to her. She seemed to expect a Shirley
Temple clone, only cuter with more talent.
I've often wished that I could travel back in time and be
the supportive mother to myself I never had. I don't blame her for ruining my
life, because my life isn't ruined! But I do blame her for much misery that was
totally unnecessary!
In therapy, I learned that when anyone starts showing
disrespectful or manipulative behavior or does anything that makes you
uncomfortable, distance yourself from them, fast! They have no place in your
life!
Also some relationships run their course; when they're over,
just forget them. NEVER under any circumstances chase after anyone who walks
away.
I discovered that other neighbors were familiar with the
antics of this girl as well."Oh yeah, she's quite the drama queen!"one told me, and agreed she needed psychiatric treatment! "He's such a
mild boy," they said.
Too much so, I fear. Listening to his girlfriend's
histrionics, I wondered if someday they'd both be the subject of a Lifetime
Movie. She was certainly disturbed enough!
One day, I began to notice a prolonged and welcome period of
quiet over there. Both young people seemed to have vanished. Perhaps the lad
had gone off to college or found a job and moved far away. I just hope that
loony girl didn't follow him!
Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!
