UGH, NOOO, GLASSES AGAIN!

A miracle occurred after Vero Beach was hit with the back-to-back hurricanes of 2004! My far-sighted vision was magically restored! I had been near-sighted since the age of 16. Now once again miraculously I could see the detail on leaves in neighbor's yards and much, much more! Of course my near-sighted vision was now completely gone, but this was way better!

"You have second sight," the optometrist told me.

"Well, I have had many experiences that fall under the supernatural category since my father's death," I replied.

"No, no, no," she said. "It has nothing to do with dead people!"

The more I think about it, actually it does!  It's one of those milestones on the march toward death after age 50.

Also she warned this blessing was only temporary and not to become too fond of it.

But I felt liberated! Now I was able to drive, go to movies, attend live shows, and watch TV without glasses and actually be able to see! It was a wondrous sensation!

Also I conquered my fear of public speaking at Business Networking events, I could see faces clearly now without being self-conscious about wearing glasses or dealing with the bother and discomfort of contact lenses. I hated those things!  Life was beautiful now.

Fast forward to the present! Recently, I noticed I was having difficulty seeing things on my large screen TV. My first thought was to buy an even bigger screen; however those are expense, so I just moved my chair up closer.

Then I noticed the print online, in newspapers, and magazines was becoming blurred and faint. I bought the strongest pair of Dollar Store glasses available, they helped some, but not enough. I found myself continually switching back and forth between pairs depending on the print before me. Also I could no longer see the time on my kitchen clock from the living room.

Suddenly it was as if a curse had fallen upon me. I ended up having to purchase 3 pairs of glasses; one for computer, one for TV, and a pair of sunglasses for driving. And worse the optometrist said in a year I'd probably need an entirely new trio because I'd reached the age where my vision would be rapidly changing.

Another thing that really bugs me is that I can no longer wear lots of cute sunglasses to match my outfits. Now I'm back to one boring, neutral pair that must go with everything! I'll admit this is a big kick in my vanity! I may be a fossil, but otherwise I'm a magnificent and dang well preserved one!

I just wish I didn't loathe the taste of carrots! Perhaps then, I wouldn't be saddled with glasses again. Also I'm seeing pin prick flashes of light in my right eye.

Guess I should be grateful that my second sight lasted thru my exploratory adventures to Ecuador and Thailand. Those trips were amazing! However I won't be expatriating to either.

But the worst news of all is the cataract surgery in my future according to the optometrist. Guess I should start researching Third World countries that can perform this procedure at a price I can afford since I lack Insurance and am ineligible for Medicare.

I want to continue my foreign travels, but I hoped it would be as a tourist and not a patient.

A SONG & DANCE & A FEW BUGS, TOO!

I will always remember that day almost 10 years ago when everything seemed to be going wrong. For the first time in years I broke down in sobs at the foot of my stairs. And that night something strange happened. I experienced a vivid dream. One that I could have sworn was real!

In it, I was awakened by a frantic scratching on my bedroom door. It wouldn't cease no matter how hard I tried to ignore it and it disturbed, even frightened me! Also it seemed to be growing stronger! Something was desperate to get inside! I was beginning to panic.

 

Suddenly the door flew open! I was terrified! But nothing was there. Then, I felt something jump onto my bed!

I peeked over the covers and saw my dog Coco who had been dead for several years. But here she was, tail wagging wildly as she trotted towards me. I felt relieved and happy. She licked my face as I petted her. Then she curled up beside me with my arms over her and we fell asleep together.

The next morning she was gone. But I knew she had been there! I found it mystifying that with all the people I'd lost to death, it was my dog who came to comfort me. And I thought it odd that I didn't smell her. I could always tell when my deceased father was visiting because I could smell him. He had a distinctive body aroma.

I used to spray her with Lollipup (do they still make it?) for fleas. It made her smell like Tootsie Pops.

In fact I made up a little number I used to sing to her and I choreographed it, too. The cat enjoyed my show as well!  Since I don't read or write music, you're going to have to imagine my tune in your head. Or perhaps one day I'll have to go on YouTube to perform these little pieces of mine.  --- NOT!!! Don't hold your breath.

This is in memory of Coco.

  

COCO THE DOG DITTY:

 

(Swing your hips and clap high to one side.)

Fleas on my bum!

Fleas on my bum!

 

(Skip around in a circle with your hands on your hips.)

My name is Coco and I've fleas on my bum

So stick around and pet me cause I'd love to give you some!

 

(Now skip again flapping your arms alternating with jazz hands raised wide!)

Grin like a monkey when you start to smelling funky

Pick the lice from your hair

And your filthy underwear

 

(Sway side to side & clapping your hands while singing.)

Mosquitoes and fleas!

Mosquitoes and fleas!

People have mosquitoes and dogs have fleas

 

(The next steps are freeform and all up to you!)

Dance the bugs that bite you boogie woogie

Dance the bugs that bite you boogie woogie.

  

Sometimes, I find myself still singing this! If you know me at all, you know I like to get silly.

BUGS ARE SWARMING IN THE GLOBAL WARMING

Again, it's the summer of the ants! They're descending upon me like a biblical scourge. Carpenter ants are gigantic in comparison to other ants, and worse they fly! They appear immediately after dark like vampires. Their favorite landing spots are my TV screen and my body. My hand vacuum has become my best friend!

This reminds me of the scene from War of the Worlds where the aliens vacuum up people. The following morning I'm always surprised to find them still alive as I empty my vacuum in the garbage. But they don't stay that way for long, heh heh heh!

And like those humans, these ants fight back! While seated in my recliner and trying to watch TV I've had them fly straight for my eye more than once. They're attacking me methodically! I swear insects will one day rule the planet!  They're just waiting for our species to blown itself up!

Carpenter ants are the opposite of butterflies and similar to fallen angels. They start out with wings, eventually lose them and end up living underground. Often I find their wings shed on my furniture and carpets.

This isn't my first rodeo with these critters! They show up when rotting wood on the outside my house needs replacing. Well, I've recently had it replaced, yet the problem persists. Professional help is required and a man is arriving today. It appears they're getting in thru the top of my Cathedral ceiling. I sure hope the guy has a high ladder!

Tiny sugar ants were also invading my kitchen and pantry. Terro failed to attract them this time. Apparently the stuff has a brief shelf life! Vinegar & Baking Soda which are supposed to work don’t do a damn thing! (I learned this previously, even blogged about it.) Insecticide always works, but I'm probably shortening my own life every time I spray.

The first cool spell always solves my ant problems, but this is August and I live in Florida!!!

Insects have a habit of taking up residence on the outside of my home, too! Upon my front door was a large sunburst decoration and hidden just underneath was a large nest of hornets. Anyone knocking on my door was in for an unpleasant surprise! However, it happened to be election season with lots of unwelcome political campaigners, so I let it be. The hornets also took care of Jehovah’s Witnesses, too. Of course I was stung a few times myself, but the pain was worth it!

The summer monsoons had taken their toll last year. After Hurricane Matthew, my house was pressure cleaned to remove mold. The cleaner summoned me outside. He pointed up! Directly under the high peak of my 2 story roof was a giant mutant mushroom from outer space! At least that's what it looked like to me! We didn't know what it was! It also resembled the Opera House in Australia's Sydney Harbor and was nearly as huge.

A neighbor said it was a beehive. Well that explained a lot! Frequently, I'd been removing bees from the inside of my home. One even went down my blouse. I was left with a sting that made me appear to have grown another nipple! Thank goodness I'm not allergic or I'd be dead, now!

The beehive was in the exact spot where bats infested my wall and bred 10 years ago. And like bats, bees are an endangered species. But my house was scheduled to be painted and rotting wood replaced, so they needed to be gone. I tried to do the right thing and have the hive relocated, rather than destroyed.

A professional beekeeper was summoned. He said relocating was impossible, but the hive was nearing the end of its cycle anyway. I watched him put on his protective gear and climb to the high peak of my home. He sprayed the hive with insecticide and then tore it down. I felt a little sick inside watching.

I gave him the bat house which I went to much trouble and expense to order and erect. But the thing had proved ineffectual and ended up stashed in my garage. It had been taking up space for years now.

I love my home, but if I could go back in time, I'd never want one constructed of wood. It's the worst material for Florida! However both my father and I fell in love immediately with the architecture and layout. Even today, after all these years when I step thru the door, this place still takes my breath away!