ENDING OR MENDING FRIENDSHIPS

Around the age of 11, I recall my mother complaining to a neighbor, "I don't know what's wrong with Dianne! She has no interest in having friends. She doesn't want me to invite other kids over. And when I do, she hides her toys!"

"Give her to me for a week," the neighbor replied, "I'll snap her out of it!"

I wasn't doing anything wrong. Nor was I harming anyone, not even myself. I just preferred my own company. Plus other kids were careless with my possessions!

My father was more sympathetic. "Dianne sees other children all day in school," he told them, "If she doesn't want to socialize afterward, don't force her."

Later, most of my High School friendships fell apart in High School. The ones that didn't quickly dissolved in Junior College. Then I made friends with co-workers. But those friendships always ended when the jobs did, usually not of my choosing.

Nowadays I have friends who can't handle things I've said about Donald Trump. And I can't handle things that came out of Trump's mouth!!!  If he was anything resembling a descent person he wouldn't be this divisive!

A lesson I learned the hard way is that friendships like marriages are not always meant to last. Many just run their course and die naturally, while others end badly and extremely so!

The worst enemy I ever experienced, I met at age 40. This woman came on as if she was going to be my best friend in the world! She was encouraging and supportive to my face while I was knifed in the back and undermined at every opportunity by her. Never, was this person actually my friend, only someone pretending to be. Foolishly I made the mistake of trusting her and suffered serious consequences.

As for friends during my childhood, what I remember most about these early friendships is how draining they were. In elementary, it seems I was often friends with some tiny, female Donald Trump. These pint-sized Trumpettes would say really horrid below-the- belt things. I'd turn around and gave it back to them, then it was "BWAAAAH you hurt my feelings!!!  And "I" was a mean and terrible person.

Also there were the little Prima Donnas who for reasons known only to them, suddenly and mysteriously became mad at me. When I inquired as to the problem, I was hit with the ever popular, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you!" Well I'm not a mind reader! And usually, it was nothing I did, only something they imagined I did.

Example:  I knew a pair of fraternal twins "Sarah & Sadie", equally different in personality as well as appearance, yet they were extremely close. Sarah was more my friend, she had a jolly disposition. Sadie was chronically sullen and so touchy you could offend her without even knowing it, which I did.

Sadie began scowling at me, refusing to speak as we passed in the school halls. This went on for a couple weeks. Then she recruited her sister. Now, I had both of them giving me dirty looks!

Finally, Sarah came to me and said, "I miss you and I don't want us being enemies anymore."

"Why were we enemies in the first place?" I demanded to know. "Because I don't have a clue!"

"Oh, Sadie said that you snubbed her in the hall 3 weeks ago by not saying "Hi" back to her.

Oh good grief! I honestly didn't remember any such incident. And if it bothered her to that extent, she should have confronted me. We could have ironed it out there and then! I explained that my mind was probably elsewhere and I didn't see her. Geez!!!

The following year, I became best friends with a new girl named "Carla". She happened to be involved in a bitter feud with another girl who lived 2 houses over from her. And worse, this girl was in our class that semester. Instantly, I was pulled into this mess and forced to deal with lots of ugly drama! Half-way thru the school year, the 2 of them made-up and became best buddies. I was left out in the cold, so much for my loyalty!

In High School, the word "frenemy" comes to mind. There was a plethora of these! Even those who didn't fall into that category quickly abandoned our friendship just as soon as they acquired a boyfriend. And when they were dumped, of course they wanted my shoulder to cry on! But when the next guy appeared, I was tossed aside and forgotten, again.

Just a few years ago, a close friend's ship to happily-ever-after came along and I was left discarded at the dock. Having this done to me at age 16 was one thing, but I never thought it would happen to me again, especially at age 60!

But I moved on. The majority of my current friends I met after the age of 60.

My 2 longest (lasting until death) friendships for 30 plus years were to Pat & Margaret. They were truly my stormy weather friends. Both ladies were my mother's age, but as completely unlike her as any 2 women can get. Perhaps that's what attracted me to them.

When a friendship starts to wane there are signs. Little cracks emerge. Sometimes they can be patched. But too often those become gullies, which morph into a chasm too wide to cross; still you're connected by a thread. Often, letting go feels good.

However when a friendship ends thru death it's more difficult to move on because no hard feelings are involved, I still think of and miss Margaret & Pat to this day.

NOTHING NICE TO SAY

Actually, I do have ONE nice thing to say. For eight years we've had a lovely black family residing in the White House. Now, they have been replaced by a piece of white trash with cash!

The United States has turned into a grim reality series starring sleazy Don and the Trumpettes. This aged version of the affluenza brat is now our president. Donald Trump makes me embarrassed to be a citizen of the United States. I have nothing but contempt and loathing for this man!!!

Today, he is taking the oath of office. Guess my voodoo doll is defective, or else I need some of his icky hair to stick on the thing.  Eeeeewww! Forget that! From the look of his complexion & tresses those Golden Showers must stain!

I am no fan of Hillary Clinton. I have never liked this woman. But I voted for her because she was the only qualified candidate and I dreaded the alternative. I am a registered Republican and more conservative than liberal in most ways. I don't even like being in the same camp with many of these liberals. But at least I recognize a turd when I smell one, and Vladimir Poop'ns pal stinks to high heaven!

Trump should have been stopped by his fellow Republicans long ago, but what can be expected from a bunch of political whores and cowards. The Electoral College was created to protect us from con men like Trump; instead, this pile of gutless electors turned us over to him.

He and his whore, Pence not Melania, (Although I question the character of any woman who would take up with Trump.) are now in Washington. Notice how he refers to his vice president as "My Pence" as if the guy is his trained monkey. And that's not far from the truth!

This liar has not drained the swamp; it is now filled with more snakes than ever! The nominees for his Cabinet have fought and even tried to shut down the agencies they will lead. -- This is the act of a despot! Expect our environment to be murdered and our freedoms to be eroded.

NEVER, EVER, forget that even before Trump took office the Republicans (behind closed doors) attempted to gut an independent agency investigating any potential shady actions by our lawmakers. Trump labeled this agency "unfair" and objected only to the "timing" of this move! So expect this sneaky stunt to occur again, only next time it will be successful!

And this is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg! Donald Trump was trying to control the press starting back in his campaign and expect greater censorship now that he is office. This is dangerous folks!!!

Trump has stated that the rules don't apply to him. So don't be surprised if we end up with a dictator who can't be voted out.

Trump wants a law passed ending our free speech, making it illegal to criticize him. It will be considered an act of terrorism! In his mind, Trump doesn't have opponents, only enemies. And we're supposed to forget all the ugly things he said during his campaign and NOW, too -- NO!!! That's NOT happening!!! Trump needs a big dose of his own medicine. This is a bully we MUST stand up to!!!

In my opinion, he deserves to be pummeled with spit, rotten eggs, dead rats, & garbage every place he goes!

I cannot fathom how any sane person could vote for this viper! And why does he merit such support from the religious right? He represents everything they should be damning! But really, (No surprise here!) these are a bunch of stinking hypocrites and they've just proven it! If they were true Christians, they'd be praying that God strike Donald Trump dead before he can do damage!

Next holiday season I plan to write "Season's Greetings" on all my cards followed by "Saturnalia wishes upon you!"

I recall Trump's quote that he could kill someone in broad daylight in Times Square and not lose any votes. Heck, he could shoot one of his supporters in full view of all the others, then drop his pants and take a dump on the person. Not only would they still vote for him, they'd line up to lick his ass afterward. These people would have to evolve to be called deplorables!

It is truly disturbing that society has devolved to this point and our nation dragged down to this level. President Pussy Grabber is unfit to be our Commander in Chief. From everything I've seen or heard from him, he needs to be GONE and soon!!! He deserves to be IMPEACHED!!!

LAST YEAR AT THIS TIME

I was enjoying a private tour of Thailand with my own personal guide & driver. It was a fantasy that had become reality! This was a trip I had planned for 2 years. I sacrificed luxuries, neglected household repairs, & pinched nickels every way I could to afford this trip. Plus I subscribed to an expat Thai newsletter online and studied up on Thailand and its customs. Perhaps this country would become my future home? I had to go there and find out.

First, I had to change planes in Dubai. I didn't know I was going there until my Travel Agent told me. And I must say, the airport there was as interesting as it was stressful.

From Dubai, it was on to Bangkok. Soon it hit me; here I was on the other side of the planet!!! Every day was now filled with wonderful pinch-me-am-I-really-here moments!!! Exotic eye-popping architecture and colorfully dressed people surrounded me. Everything was eye candy for the soul!

Every hotel or resort I stayed had either a terrace or back porch with a scenic water view. And each had a Dragon fruit centerpiece somewhere in the room; plus a tea kettle, burner, along with all the tea fixings. This made for the perfect ending to my exhausting, event-filled days as I journeyed north.

I didn't go drinking in the night clubs, that's not my thing! I was more interested in the culture. I felt privileged to see much of rural Thailand and meet people from the various hill tribes and just explore.

Of course I hit the major tourist spots too, including lots and lots of ornate temples. All are worth seeing!

Don't get me started on the variety of gorgeous merchandise in the markets! If Thailand was not so far away and the flight so expensive & long, I'd go back tomorrow with an empty suitcase & lots of cash! Thailand is filled with amazingly beautiful bargains.

Of course during most of the trip I had swollen feet & calves, plus a bruised body from all the walking, climbing, and tumbles I took, but I'd do it all again. Plus I had 3 flights within Thailand, itself and flying isn't pleasant anymore, to say the least. But that too, was worth it. Thailand was a thrilling experience and one not to be missed!

However, I needed to determine whether or not I would be moving there. Unfortunately, the minus column was the longer. I'm a spoiled American and Thailand is still developing. I needed to keep in mind that if I moved, I would not be living in 5 star hotels & resorts, nor would I have a personal guide & driver. Although these amenities made for a truly memorable and magnificent vacation!!!

Everything remains as fresh and vivid in my mind as if it happened yesterday! I can close my eyes and feel back there. It doesn't seem like an entire year ago to me.

My memories of Thailand are nothing short of glorious, and ones I will forever treasure.

DEATH NEVER TAKES A HOLIDAY

The past year brought a plethora of celebrity deaths, far more than usual it seemed. Around the holidays a cluster of them dominated the news, so last New Year's Eve had an element of sadness among the celebrating.

The New Year has always been a solemn holiday for me, anyway. I can't help but think of all the ones in my life who didn't make it to this point. At my current age, I know more people on the other side than those who are alive.

A dear friend who spent Christmas in another state told me of friends who lost a family member close to Christmas. We agreed that's the worse time to lose someone because it forever taints the holiday.

I don't mean to trivialize any of these deaths with this memory; I  had to put a beloved cat down on the First Day of Spring back in the 1980's. I cried every day for a year! I mean I cried so hard the muscles in my face hurt. Even now, that day makes me sad. And I never cried a tear when my grandparents died, or even one for my mother!

It's always a tragedy when the world loses a great talent and they deserve to be saluted. But on a personal level most of these celebrities meant nothing to me and will not be missed. That's the cold hard truth. Besides, their body of work will always be around and enjoyed, so in a sense they'll never be completely gone.

Of course we don't know what went on behind the scenes, but most of these celebrity deaths came as a sudden shock.

My father used to say that when someone dies after a prolonged illness, it's a big relief to the survivors. My father himself would come to die after a prolonged illness. And NO, it was NOT a big relief. And YES, I did cry despite the fact my dad was controlling and could be cruel. I still loved him, plus he was a fixture in my life. -- Later, from time-to-time he made his presence known in my home after he left the flesh.

I've heard that the bible states we should mourn a birth and celebrate a death. I am not religious, but I do believe in the immortal soul. Perhaps with age as the body deteriorates and weakens the spirit at last is able to break free, shedding its cage of flesh and bone; released to ultimate autonomy and its true destiny. Perhaps death is a positive experience and not something to be faced with dread. Someday we'll ALL find out.