PSEUDO NORMAL

 

I feel like zombie fodder! Everyone I do business with is taking a big bite out of me! Most recently my lawn guy informed me that he's charging an extra $20 per month now. This was not unexpected, but I thought the hike would be more like $10.

I complained my yard isn't that big! He began listing all his costs that have gone up. Well so have mine, only I don't have anyone to pass it onto! I'm feeling so many bites I fear soon there will be nothing left!

This runaway inflation is a major stressor. And just after I managed to get my hair loss under control too! My worst fear is that it's going to come back and morph into alopecia. If they were unable to cure Mrs. Will Smith who probably has more money than Fort Knox what hope is there for a little peanut like me.

However the pandemic has conditioned me for this in some ways. Cocooning has become my regular lifestyle. Going anywhere or doing anything has become too expensive. Just walking to my mailbox now feels like going out.

My big dress up occasion is a jaunt to the supermarket. I shop every 2 - 3 weeks now. However when hurricane season arrives it'll be weekly again. I must not allow my fridge or garage freezer to become too full then. Tropical storms bring lengthy power outages. Carrying big garbage bags of spoiled food out to the curb is not only sad, it's expensive.

I've become quite skilled at stretching food and being creative with whatever is in my pantry as well as with leftovers.

Going to Walmart feels like a trip to the carnival now.

I still meet friends for lunch in town every now and then, but we've all had to back on that and I miss it. Recently my friend Sue treated me to an Asian buffet. When the bill arrived Sue called the waitress over to complain of only one senior discount.

The waitress pointed at me. "She doesn't qualify."

"She's older than me!" Sue hollered.

The waitress claimed that I looked 45. -- I was flattered as hell anyone would think that especially with my gray hair and bandaged check. I informed her that I'm 71 and offered to show my driver's license.

Sue said that she was tempted to tip that waitress only a dollar for being so stupid! I joked that I should leave $10 behind for the compliment.

Excuse my bragging. (Up yours if you don't!) But I had to mention this because it lifted my spirits and reminded me I still have something to be proud. I've been hit with depression and sunk to lows I never wanted to experience again! The past couple years have been particularly miserable in numerous ways.

However I won't feel attractive again until this wound on my face heals completely.

And I hate remembering to bandage up before going to bed. This is a bother and a nuisance! But otherwise I'd have ointment all over my pillowcase.

I must point out that Sue is not an unattractive woman! She has been called the Marilyn Monroe of Vero Beach. She dresses glamorously and is blessed with natural thick platinum hair that I envy and wish was mine!

I'm letting my tresses grow out. Salons have become too expensive. I'll admit this shade of gray doesn't look pretty when worn long, but the mess and ordeal of coloring is something I don't care to return to. Also I must take into consideration my recent bout with hair loss. Besides, I'm home alone most of the time now.

I can always stick on a cute hat when I go out. Also when the cool weather returns I've got an assortment of wigs in a variety of colors and styles.

These days my social life is mostly Facebook. But Facebook "friends" are here today and gone tomorrow. However I do enjoy the artwork, videos, photos & articles. And decorating my Timeline is fun and relaxing.

Since cancelling that pricey newspaper subscription all my news comes from online as well as TV now. But I sure miss that big Sunday paper and spreading it across the floor to read. -- However not enough to resubscribe.

Blogging is as much therapy as memoir to me. And I'm working on another novel. I enjoy a feeling of satisfaction from creating a story even if no one reads it.

I'm spending more time than ever sitting and staring at a screen. As a result my bottom is sore. I wish there was a masseuse that specialized in deep tissue butt massages. And one that does only feet & butts would be perfect and a dream come true.

My new normal is anything but, however "normal" is subjective.

HAIR & HURRICANE LOSS

 

It's old news by now. I'm referring to the Oscar slap seen round the world! But I'm dredging it up for a reason.

Personally, I think Will Smith should have had his ass hauled off to jail the second after he struck Chris Rock! My heart went out to this comedian every time I saw a replay of the incident. Right before the slap he stood there with a big smile on his face as Smith approached without a clue what was about to befall him.

If Will Smith ever placed a hand on me I would sue the pants off him! He didn't deserve a standing ovation. He should have been booed off the stage!

Whether or not Chris knew about Jada's medical condition is irrelevant. The joke wasn't even mean! Even Will himself laughed upon hearing it. Had Rock exclaimed, "Holey moley Jada your head looks like a bowling ball with a face painted on!" -- Now that would have been mean!

But the joke was innocent!

Since I don't follow celebrities I assumed Jada's look was a fashion choice. And I thought she looked absolutely gorgeous! However upon seeing her smile in reaction to her husband's assault it made me want to punch her in the yap!

This was a valuable teaching experience for her children and she failed miserably! As for making friends with her alopecia and embracing it, she talks the talk, but doesn't walk the walk. Otherwise she wouldn't be that sensitive about it.

Recently I experienced a significant hair loss myself that threw me into a panic! Every time I washed or even combed, my sink would be full of hair. My parts were so wide you could almost drive a Mack truck thru them! I thought I was going to end up as hairless as GI Jada.

And worse I had burning and soreness as if a hot poker had been placed on my scalp!

When I went to the stylist he refused to cut my hair as short as before. He felt it only drew attention to the thinning. But I insisted he do it! That way I could slip a turban or wig on more neatly.

I told myself I was the perfect person for this condition. I own a stockade of hats, wigs, & turbans. You might say I'd been preparing for this my entire adult life, -- but that didn't make it any easier! Never would I embrace it. Never would it become my friend, not even a forced one.

The dermatologist visit I scheduled was due to hair loss and not that giant pimple on my face with the weird border.

The doctor glanced briefly at my scalp and agreed there was loss. "Try Rogaine," he advised. "However you must use it for at least 6 months to know whether or not it works. "But don't expect your hair to look as it did when you were 22." 

Geez, I'd settle for when I was 65! And Rogaine is downright expensive! If I'm going to shell out that kind of money for a product I want to be certain it's going to work. Not something that I have to close my eyes, wish, and knock-on-wood first!

Then I happened to mention, "Oh and by the way doctor I've got this thing growing on my face." -- I was sure he was going to tell me it was benign. And if it bothered me he'd prescribe a peeling cream or something else to remove it.

I was blown away when informed that it was skin cancer and was growing! I ended up with a big pit in my face that was far wider than the growth.

If someone said to me, "Hey Dianne, that hole in your face is so deep a serial killer could throw 3 bodies in there and not get caught," I'd scowl rather than strike them, -- unless it became a habit and bordered on harassment. That would be different!

Due to this runaway inflation there is no way I can afford a skin graft by a plastic surgeon so it appears I'll need to force myself into accepting a scar on my face. I'm crossing my fingers, hoping it won't be that bad.

The wound is narrowing and filling in despite the dermatologist's highly negative prognosis.

As to my hair loss, thankfully it was temporary, related to stress caused by an unusually active hurricane season in which I unable to find anyone to board-up my home.

Thanks to nutritional supplements and a reliable (although far from cheap) contractor my tresses are back -- at least for now!