MIDSOMMAR SCARES, NAH!

I love a good fright movie!!! One that shoots icy tingles thru your body as the hair on your arms and the back of your neck stand at attention riveting you to your seat while your nails claw deep into the armrests leaving you a quivering bundle of nerves afterward! 

I read online that Midsommar was probably the scariest movie ever made. I knew I must see it! Well don't believe everything you read online! For the first half hour I thought I was watching a tedious relationship drama about a dysfunctional couple. Had I been watching this on DVD or my DVR I would have fast-forwarded right thru this part. The plot was so slow to unfold it made me want a nap.

Scary is the last word I'd use to describe this film. It was just weird, violent, and lewd! There was lots of full-frontal nudity which I found interesting. -- I don't see a lot of this in my regular everyday life! However, I would never shell out money just to see naked people. I want a gripping plot, too!

The story centers on a colorful floral, traditional Swedish festival that seems innocent when in fact it's anything but. Here's a joke: How many of these Swedish festival goers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: One to do it and the entire village to revel in the experience! Oh this film pushes the phrase "It takes a village" to a whole different level! These Swedish cultists reminded me of the pod-people from Invasion of the Body Snatchers, a truly frightening movie, at least for 10 year old me. The later remake not so much, but then I was no longer 10.

The original Night of the Living Dead actually terrified me when I saw it in my early 20's along with my future stepmother who watched the entire film with her eyes closed. "Next time I chose the movie, Dianne!" she declared as we left the theater.

The remake several decades later was equally as horrifying, (I LOVED it!) if not more so! As with the original, it stayed with me long after I departed the theater. I found myself avoiding dark rooms in my own home. However during the past decade there's been such a plethora of zombies in the movies & on TV that now I can sit in a dark house alone watching, go to bed afterward and sleep peacefully.

Perhaps as I age it's just becoming harder for me to buy into fantasy fiction. Either way, Midsommar was a mid-summer disappointment.

WHAT'S OLD IS NEW

Forget the Joneses; I'm still trying to keep up with the Flintstones! I just got a new DVD player. This was a thoughtful and generous gift from a dear friend. I am delighted to have it!

I love watching TV in the evening! And I record everything! Movies are a favorite, I watch as many of those as TV shows, sometimes more. I seldom go out after dark and I get too sleepy reading at night. With my DVR I just hit pause, cat-nap and then pick right up where I left off. It's wonderful! But now, I must make adjustments.

ATT hiked my cable bill so high that I was forced to give up the Starz-Showtime package I loved. And I don't want a satellite for reasons I mentioned in a previous post. For a decade, I was able to enjoy this bundle at a price I could afford. In fact, 2 years ago I got a special deal in which HBO was included for 6 months.

Actually I like Starz-Showtime better than HBO; they run more the type of movies & series I enjoy. Now it's no more OUTLANDER or my new favorite THE SPANISH PRINCESS which continues in 2020.

However I've been losing interest in Outlander for awhile now. The series jumped the shark for me when Claire went thru the stones into the past a second time. I realize that a fantasy is supposed and even expected to vault over all manner of mythical creatures. But my suspended belief is faltering. As far as I'm concerned, Claire may as well have leapt over the Loch Ness monster! If this series was based on reality rather than fantasy, upon her return 20 years later, Claire would have found her strapping hulk of a Scotsman now fat, balding, with missing teeth, and married to a girl their daughter's age! And no sane person would deliberately time travel back to live under the conditions of that period.

My new favorite is based on reality. (OK loosely!) And Yes, yes, yes, everyone who has been to school (or the movies or has watched TV) knows how this plays out. Catherine of Aragon marries King Henry VIII, the marriage is happy until Catherine while growing older, fails to produce a male heir. Henry has a roving eye and his gaze falls upon saucy silver-tongued Anne Boleyn who plays him like a mandolin. Catherine is discarded like yesterday's porridge, but unlike Anne Boleyn gets to keep her head.  -- I would still enjoy seeing this all unfold on my TV screen!

The price of my current lesser bundle expires next spring. -- I wasn't even given a full year! I've decided that when the time arrives unless ATT offers me a honking amazing deal at a great price I'm returning to Comcast. I would have done this already except I'd lose all of my recordings! There are plenty of movies I still want to see.

A decade ago I was thrilled to be rid of Comcast, however I've experienced equally as many issues with ATT. However ATT's saving grace was a movie package I could actually afford. Now  that's no longer the case, so there's no reason to keep them longer than I have to.

I've looked into streaming, but don't like what I've learned. Plus its alien technology to me!!! I've been told by several that you can't have both a DVR and stream. And I must give up TV shows I enjoy, as well as be unable to fast-forward thru programs. This sucks!!! Frequently, I fast-forward thru car chases, boring dialogue, & sex scenes. -- Unless there's nudity, then I hit pause. I've actually fast-forwarded thru entire movies!

With the exception of Online & On Demand, I haven't sat thru a commercial in almost 30 years and I hate the thought of going back to that! Also zapping out advertisements is a big time saver, at my age, I don't have that much time left!

My first thought upon losing Starz-Showtime was that I'll be going back to movie-hopping every weekend, again.

However with my new DVD player I can rent movies from Red Box. I've also been told there's a second- hand place in town that sells used DVDs for a dollar & 50 cents on sale. I'm planning on becoming a regular customer.

My new DVD player is a most welcome gift! Thank you again, Rose!

THE 4TH & AFTER

The 4th of July has become the worst night of the year as far as I'm concerned! Starting late afternoon the racket begins! And speaking of rackets, I refused to watch that political spectacle in our nation's capitol disguised as a patriotic parade. Geez, President Pussy Grabber's ego knows no bounds. How can this cowardly draft dodger even dare throw himself a military parade! Bone spurs doesn't care spit about our country. All he's concerned about is massaging his ego and enriching himself! No bigger con-artist ever drew breath inside the U.S.!

Everyone should be alarmed that Trump considers himself above the law. And anytime a leader, or rather a misleader declares the press to be "An enemy of the people!" You are dealing with a dictator or someone who aspires to be one. This should be a no-brainer! I'm thrilled his parade got rained on. Too bad HE along with all of his sucker-supporters there weren't struck by lightning!

Unfortunately, there was no rain here, just lots of illegal fireworks. And I don't mean the little pop-pop kind, these sounded like blasting cannons! During the evening of the 4th, I watched an old war movie with Victor Mature & Anthony Newley so that all the blasts & booms around me would better fit in.

There are plenty of places to go see fireworks! There is no excuse for this.

One reason, I don't want another dog or cat is the 4th of July! My last dog was elderly and half deaf, yet every July 4th she'd shake in my arms or lap the entire holiday and after. Some of these fools around here don't know when to call it quits! She was scared to go outside for 2 weeks after and I was constantly cleaning up her messes in the house.

This year, after dark on the 4th I noticed my yard light had burned out. I went outside to change the bulb and was almost knocked off my feet by the booms! I could actually feel the earth move beneath me. The man in the house directly behind mine is the worst offender. I've actually seen sparks land on my roof. My house is wood; also this is a wooded neighborhood. This man also has a penchant for bonfires. And I'll bet you anything this jerk is a Trump supporter! He displays all the earmarks.

For weeks I enjoyed watching a group of rabbits (probably from the same litter) scampering around my yard. Sadly, each July my yard becomes devoid of all wild animal life after the 4th! I prefer seeing the squirrels & rabbits to fireworks.

I consider it noise pollution. There should be a law! -- Oh wait, there IS one! So, why is it never enforced!?

JUST A MEMORY OR TWO

During the autumn of 1969 I would walk to the Rexall drugstore to catch the bus to Community College 20 miles to the north. There was a bench in front of the store. Usually there were only a small handful of students. This was my freshman year. 

One morning, I was the only student there. An old man came and sat down beside me. He wore walking shorts with a faded jacket the kind you typically wear with a suit. On his feet were socks & sandals. The toe of each sock had a hole. I've seen this before and since on others. I've always found it simultaneously sad and disturbing.     

We chatted; I told him that I was a new student at the college.

"I'm a graduate of the University of Heidelberg," he said with pride.

This was the university of Student Prince fame. I loved the movie with Edward Purdom & Ann Blythe! I figured he must have been a student during the 1920's since Hitler came to power in 1933 and it wouldn't have been a good place for an American.

Looking at him I wondered what terrible thing must have befallen him. A graduate of such a famous university should not end up on a bench looking like a hobo.

Soon, 2 other students appeared and our conversation ceased. The bus arrived shortly after.

Fast-forward 9 years, I was in Heidelberg myself. This is where I caught the ferry for the Rhine-Neckar river cruise; one that would pass the infamous Lorelei cliff where sailors were lured to their doom by a siren. I was already familiar with the story.

During my last year of Junior High, everyone in English class was required to memorize a poem and recite it. I chose The Lorelei by Heinrich Heine. In the days following, several classmates approached to ask where I found such a beautiful poem. Actually it was right inside our English textbook amongst many others! They had just overlooked it.

Years later, I learned there are several different translations of this Heinrich Heine poem. However the one in my English textbook is by far the most haunting.

In Heidelberg, I thought of that old man I met briefly nearly a decade before. And I thought of him again as I passed the Lorelei rock and began reciting the poem in my mind: "I cannot tell why this imagined sorrow has fallen upon me, the ghost of an unburied legend that will not let me be."

Life is filled with twists and turns, sometimes your entire world can be pulled out from under you without warning.