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Monday, July 15, 2019

MIDSOMMAR SCARES, NAH!


I love a good fright movie!!! One that shoots icy tingles thru your body as the hair on your arms and the back of your neck stand at attention riveting you to your seat while your nails claw deep into the armrests leaving you a quivering bundle of nerves afterward! 

I read online that Midsommar was probably the scariest movie ever made. I knew I must see it! Well don't believe everything you read online! For the first half hour I thought I was watching a tedious relationship drama about a dysfunctional couple. Had I been watching this on DVD or my DVR I would have fast-forwarded right thru this part. The plot was so slow to unfold it made me want a nap.

Scary is the last word I'd use to describe this film. It was just weird, violent, and lewd! There was lots of full-frontal nudity which I found interesting. -- I don't see a lot of this in my regular everyday life! However, I would never shell out money just to see naked people. I want a gripping plot, too!

The story centers on a colorful floral, traditional Swedish festival that seems innocent when in fact it's anything but. Here's a joke: How many of these Swedish festival goers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: One to do it and the entire village to revel in the experience! Oh this film pushes the phrase "It takes a village" to a whole different level! These Swedish cultists reminded me of the pod-people from Invasion of the Body Snatchers, a truly frightening movie, at least for 10 year old me. The later remake not so much, but then I was no longer 10.

The original Night of the Living Dead actually terrified me when I saw it in my early 20's along with my future stepmother who watched the entire film with her eyes closed. "Next time I chose the movie, Dianne!" she declared as we left the theater.

The remake several decades later was equally as horrifying, (I LOVED it!) if not more so! As with the original, it stayed with me long after I departed the theater. I found myself avoiding dark rooms in my own home. However during the past decade there's been such a plethora of zombies in the movies & on TV that now I can sit in a dark house alone watching, go to bed afterward and sleep peacefully.

Perhaps as I age it's just becoming harder for me to buy into fantasy fiction. Either way, Midsommar was a mid-summer disappointment.

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