LUSCIOUS LEMON-FLAVORED MEMORIES

According to the Calypso song: "Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet, but the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat."  -- Wait a minute! Lemons are NOT impossible to eat! In fact lemon on seafood, chicken, & potatoes tastes like a little bit of Heaven! And lemon meringue pie, mousse & lemon butter on sweet crepes tastes as though I am already there! On a salad, lemon juice tastes better than any dressing out there, plus it makes soggy lettuce crisp!

Sure lemons are sour, but just add sweetening and it becomes extraordinary! I used to make the best lemon bars around. I'd put a layer of shredded coconut between the crust and the lemon mixture, also I was generous with the powdered sugar!

Lemonade was the most refreshing beverage on the planet when I was a child, and if it was pink that made it taste even better.

Anything referred to as "being a lemon" denotes a negative. I've never understood this! That term has always made me salivate. Lemon is a favorite flavor of mine.

To my taste buds, calamondins are sourer. But I used to love snacking on those when we had a calamondin tree at the previous house. Plus our neighbors had a tree that grew lemons the size of grapefruit. We were welcome to help ourselves!  I'm a citrus loving woman! One of the perks of being a Florida girl was having lots of free citrus around.

Lemons are luscious to me, plus they are healthy! Lemon water aids in high blood pressure, respiratory problems, diphtheria, asthma, arthritis, rheumatism, dandruff, throat infections, and they are even said to prevent kidney stones. Also I've read they purge the blood of toxins, fight aging, and depression.

Plus lemons are miraculous when it comes to knocking out migraines! As a former sufferer who spent 3 days of dire pain in bed and could not even keep water on her stomach without throwing up, I found that at the first sign of pain to drink strong black tea with industrial strength lemon. That always reduced the migraine to a temporary mild headache.

Lemons can also be used to soothe poison ivy rash, plus disinfect minor cuts and stop the bleeding.

Not to mention, the numerous practical uses such as bleaching delicate fabrics and polishing tarnished brass and chrome. And I've read that lemons prevent moths and ants. -- However the latter failed to work for me.

During my teens, I'd squeeze lemon juice into my hair trying to make it blonder in the summer sun. Of course this caused more freckles! So after washing I'd apply lemon juice to my skin attempting to fade them. Later, I discovered that Miss Clairol and avoiding the sun worked better in both cases.

I still love lemons in my old age. Unfortunately, they've turned hostile toward me! Thanks to my love of lemons, my acid reflux has returned with a vengeance! Citrus has become a major trigger. (I've also been forced to give up orange juice which I love and calamondins are now a distant memory.)  Any health benefits I might derive from lemons are nixed if my esophagus is destroyed. It's comparable to those who claim alcoholic beverages are healthy despite the damage to your liver and skin, not to mention that it makes you fat and impairs judgment. There's other far better ways to attain good health.

Oh well, I can still use lemons as a cleanser and polish. (Sigh!)

THE GIRLS HAD THE RIGHT ANSWER

When I told a neighbor that I'd been hired to write a novel based on a half-completed outline, her eyebrow went up. "Exactly how are you going to finish another's story?" she inquired with skepticism.

"Easy!" I replied. Obviously this woman had never taken a creative writing class! This task was also one I had faced in High School English. OK, so it's not easy, writing involves work, but its work that I feel confident in doing.

"How do you come up with ideas?" is a question I frequently hear. The answer is obvious! Ideas come from EVERYWHERE! Look to your own life, your history, and everything that's going around you.

In both my Creative Writing course and High School English, we were shown a drawing and our assignment was to write a story based upon our interpretation.

In 11th Grade English Class, the drawing depicted a crowd attired in old timey clothes gathered around a building. My initial thought was the building was a jail and the crowd was there to watch a lynching. Any moment a nefarious bad ass criminal was going to be led out and escorted to the gallows just out of view.

Here is how I came up with that idea, I remembered my father telling me that in days gone by, a lynching was public entertainment. Entire families would show up with picnic baskets to watch the person jig at the end of a rope.

In my story, the rope breaks and the prisoner is released and pardoned in the belief that God wants him spared. The man goes on to create bloody havoc with impunity. The town's people come to decide this was a miracle of the devil and the man should face a firing squad. They murder him in a hail of bullets as he is leaving a local bordello.

In my Creative Writing course, the drawing was of two children, a boy & a girl racing excitedly towards a barn. Here, my first thought was their prize heifer had just given birth to a two-headed calf. The children were already planning on charging to view it as they sold fruit by the roadside to the tourists heading south and back.

I recalled that during my early childhood, a family down the highway owned a fruit stand. Also for a fee, you could view skeletons of animal freaks which they created by combining bones of different species. -- I swear this is TRUE!!!

Anyway, in my story, the calf becomes a beloved pet. The children become insulted and angered at some of the comments towards it by their customers. In town, they overhear ridicule directed toward their cousin Rufus who has misshapen feet, they rush to defend him. Suddenly they feel ashamed of their own behavior. The two cease displaying the cow despite the fact it was a money-maker.

Both of the above concepts could be taken in many directions. Everyone has different experiences and writes thru their own lens and filter.

Now let's discuss The LADY OR THE TIGER by Frank R. Stockton. If you are a High School graduate you must be familiar with this story!

For those of you who are drop-outs, or were home-schooled by fanatical parents, here is a brief summary: Many centuries ago in a semi-barbaric kingdom, a handsome commoner and a princess become lovers to the extreme displeasure of the king. The lad is sentenced to Trial by Ordeal in the public arena. He is forced to choose between one of two doors. Behind one, is a beautiful lady followed by musicians. This lady will be is bride. Behind the other door, a starving tiger waits to pounce! The princess learns that the lady is a rival for her lover's affections and someone she hates. As the lad stands between the two doors, he gazes up at her. With a discreet movement of her hand the princess motions to the door on his right. He opens it, end of story.

Back in 7th Grade, the teacher read this to the class and then polled us students. All the boys were sure it was the lady waiting behind the door. All the girls were certain it was the tiger. The teacher warned the boys that we girls were not to be trusted.

Later, in 9th Grade English Class, we were assigned to read this story and write an ending. The results were similar to that 7th Grade poll at a different school.

This entitled (is there any other kind) princess is described as semi-barbaric. Plus the waiting lady is a hated rival. Back then, (particularly among royalty) people were considered possessions, and possessions were expendable. I picture ancient Rome and the arena where blood sports were frequent and popular.

Even today, when a cherished man disappears from a woman's life, I've them say they'd rather he be found dead and bloody, than in the arms of another woman. -- Just imagine the mind of a semi-barbaric princess!

Then, there's her daddy, the king! He is furious that his princess has been defiled by this by this commoner! Unbeknownst to his daughter, a tiger might have been placed behind BOTH doors at the last moment to ensure the lad's death.

The only way I see this lad having a chance is if Huns are storming the gates of the city; burning, looting, and murdering everything in sight forcing the spectators to flee for their lives!

Barring that, the lad is screwed and not in a good way. Even if he is wise enough not to trust the princess and makes a beeline to the other door. You can be certain the princess is going to be plenty pissed that he didn't go along with her plan. The lad and his bride would likely be murdered in the night by soldiers. Either way, the guy will be tiger chow or maggot meat.

I saw a post on Facebook that read: My mother raised me to be a warrior not a princess! -- Newsflash: A warrior exists to serve the princess and do her bidding, not the other way around.