THE LONGEST & SHORTEST MONTHS

 

Back in dinosaur times when I was a student and personal computers were something out of science fiction, March felt like the longest month of the year. Despite reality, the big holidays seemed long past and summer vacation far away.

The shortest month was August, probably because here in Florida school usually started the last week of that month. One year it actually started almost in the middle. Horrors!!! August was a busy month filled with shopping for school clothes and supplies along with dread of classes that were coming up fast.

After September arrived, it seemed forever until the holidays! Now that I'm a senior citizen all of this is reversed!

Now, once the calendar hits September, the holidays seem to arrive fast and leave even faster. But first we must endure the stress and anxiety of hurricane season which thanks to climate change now begins earlier and lasts longer. I fear that one day year round hurricanes will be the norm! I hope it's after I'm gone!

These days I desperately want to hang onto March; often our last month of wonderful weather before the onslaught of the sweltering heat. I can still open my windows and enjoy free air conditioning as well as breathe fresh air. The nights are cool with delicious sleeping weather while the days are comfortably warm.

Also March is free from hurricane worries!

Florida winters are as delightful as the summers are horrid!

August is now the longest month! Not only is it hellishly humid, hot and bug infested. I live cocooned inside an air conditioned house. One step outside and I am transformed into a fountain of sweat.  August is also the time of the year when hurricane season really starts to ramp up. Everything about it is miserable!

The snowbirds have the right idea! In my previous neighborhood an hour south of here, half my neighbors fell into that category. Six months of the year my family was situated between two empty houses. If nothing else, summers there were quiet and peaceful.

Back then, we lived on the St. Lucie River. Here in my current home, my neighborhood is made up of largely year round residents.

Now at age 70 I want to freeze time or at least slow it down. I want the impossible! That said, the only good thing I remember about 2020 is the entire year felt endlessly long!

A TIME FOR CELEBRATING & REMEMBERING

 

Today is St. Paddy's Day! My first ever trip overseas was to Ireland at age 25. Before that, I'd vacationed outside the country in Mexico, Guatemala, and the Bahamas, plus that one day I'd spent in Canada at age 8.

But this trip was much grander and more special! One of the places I would be visiting was County Tipperary where my grandmother on my father's side was born. Among other things, I would be feasting inside an Irish castle, kissing the Blarney Stone and seeing the famous Rock of Cashel in County Tipperary itself. I remember touring Dublin along with a friend I met on the trip and also standing upon a cliff admiring the view from the majestic Cliffs of Moher.

I've celebrated every St. Patrick's Day since!

Last year right before the lockdown I was planning to celebrate with friend. We scheduled a lunch out together. Unfortunately, her secretary took ill with something uncovid related and my friend was unable to leave her office.

So I decided to celebrate alone. I dressed all in green and wore the necklace with the bejeweled Celtic horn I'd purchased in Galway. I treated myself to my favorite restaurant TooJay's.

The pandemic was already underway and on everyone's mind. For the first time ever, I didn't have to wait in a line. (Sometimes there's one extending out the door!) Inside were only a handful of customers despite the fact it was noon hour. All of them senior citizens like me.

As I left the restaurant a man looked me up & down and then exclaimed, "It must be St. Patrick's Day!"

"Erin go bragh!" I replied with a big smile.

This year I'm unvaccinated and not taking any chances! I'm celebrating at home.

Later this evening I plan to watch The True History of the Kelly Gang on my DVR. Yes, I know this film is Australian and filmed there. However the name Kelly is Irish and that's close enough. You make do with what you've got!

This morning I prepared a special breakfast of blueberry oat muffins, apple sauce with fresh blueberries, and mixed berry tea.

Irish food was awful, I thought! Almost everything except the desserts tasted as if it had been thrown together without interest. I love seafood, but the eel I ate in Killarney was nearly inedible.

However for my Irish dinner here at home I'm fixing oyster stew and buttermilk biscuits. And my dessert will be a colorful slice of rainbow cake. I'll be picturing a leprechaun with a kettle of gold beside it.

SNAKE STEAKS & FRIED LICE

 

Floridians are being encouraged to dine on pythons to reduce the population of this dangerous invasive species. Okay, no problem.

Back in January of 2016 in Thailand, dining on Cobra was the latest fad according to my guide. Had I been offered it, I would have been willing to give it a try. My issue is eating mammals which I refuse to do. After all I am one and so are you!

I've eaten frog legs and gator tail. Growing up there were plenty of cracker cafes featuring frog legs on the menu. My father a Yankee born and raised in Detroit enjoyed them and would share with me. However one place served a platter with the toes still attached. -- That ended it for both of us!

During the 1990's there was a restaurant chain that specialized in gator tail. I ordered a platter. It came served with a dip, without it, the meat was bland.

I've enjoyed more common and popular menu choices that made squeamish family members and friends wince and gag.

For my 21st birthday I tried Escargot (snails) at the Petite Marmite in Palm Beach.  I also enjoyed it later in Paris. Both times, all I could taste was garlic butter!

And I've eaten and enjoyed Calamari (squid) and also raw oysters on the half shell many times.

Recently I read that shrimp are considered the cockroaches of the sea. This is due to the fact that they are omnivores and feed on trash in the waters. -- Seems I once read something similar about oysters. However I plan to continue enjoying both!

Iguanas are another invasive species here in Florida. They'll be next! In some countries they're considered a delicacy and referred to as "Chicken of the trees".

I firmly believe that in another couple generations eating insects and reptiles will be the norm thanks to overpopulation and climate change. However by that time I will be gone and forgotten. But I'll probably be chowing down on them in a future life, just like everybody else.