SCARFACE

 

I'll admit to being a vain woman! I'm a firm believer in putting your best face out there. I admire and cheer on people who take pride in their appearance. I've even co-authored a healthy lifestyle beauty manual for women on a fixed income.

This is why being informed by a doctor that I'd be left with a facial scar after surgery came as unsettling news! The location on my face (above the upper corner on the right side of my lip & into the crease on my cheek) was a factor. It's where the skin gets stretched regularly.

I am not about to stop eating, talking, smiling, or laughing; although I've been doing a lot less of the latter two. Also I am not going to cut back on brushing or flossing my teeth.

The dermatologist called this "a significant wound". Not only would I have a scar but it would lift the corner of my mouth. I'd look as if I'd had a stroke! He immediately sent me to a plastic surgeon.

The first thing the nurse said when the plastic surgeon entered the room was, "Look at her skin! Can you believe she's actually 70!"

Yes, thanks to decades of sunscreen, broad brim hats, and umbrellas my skin does appear amazingly youthful for a 70 year old! My friend Marie told me, "I can understand why you're so upset; outside of the cancer your skin is perfect!"

Yeah, and I am pissed as hell because for decades I was careful and did everything right!

The plastic surgeon stated that stitches wouldn't do, I required a skin graft. The scar would be relocated to another area of my face.

 I had no idea how deep the wound was until I put my finger into it to apply ointment. This was a shock! It's a bloody pit in my face.

I was instructed to keep it moist. My wound must never be allowed to form a scab, or the scar will be much worse!

The plastic surgeon stated I could wait until it healed for the skin graft. I told him the dermatologist said the exact opposite.

"You're a pretty lady," he replied, "and he didn't want to risk messing up your face, but repairing a scar can be done anytime."

This was welcome news! I had just paid my whopping property taxes and the skin cancer surgery, plus the office visits, biopsy, & pathologist cost were all adding up! Despite my age, I'm ineligible for social security or Medicare. (Long story!) If I ever have a heart attack, stroke, or even a serious bout with cancer I'd better just plan on dying!

During my teens and twenties I had scars on various parts of my body for different reasons. By the time I was 50 barely a trace of them remained. However I no longer have the luxury of time.

But I want to see how the scar actually looks after everything heals. I may just decide to live with it. It will be a year or more before I know for sure. In the meantime, for selfish reasons I hope people will continue to wear masks for a long time to come.

TWO NASTY SURPRISES -- ACTUALLY THREE

 

NO FOUR BUT WHOSE COUNTING

At the beginning of the pandemic, right after the lockdown, I noticed a mystery bump on my face that I thought was a giant pimple. When my go-to remedy of egg white failed to shrink it I tried every over-the-counter product on the market. That only made it angry!

After two years of this I noticed it was growing and had a weird looking uneven border. I knew it was time to consult a dermatologist.

He declared it suspicious and it needed to be biopsied. Surgery might be required. "You're going to have a scar," he told me before cutting into my face for the biopsy.

No woman wants to hear that! Unlike men, our appearance is important to us. And I've always been proud of my firm, youthful skin rare among people my age. Plus this was in a noticeable spot; above the corner of my upper right lip and into the crease of my cheek.

Nervously I awaited the biopsy results. I was sure it would be benign. I'd been wearing sunscreen religiously since I was 25 on the advice of a dermatologist. This one said the problem began in childhood before sunscreen was invented, back when everyone believed the sun was healthy, one of the benefits of being raised in Florida.

I recall when I began wearing sunscreen along with broad brim hats; I'd even open an umbrella if the sun became too bright. And I was often ridiculed for being so cautious! I heard remarks such as: "The sun can't hurt you any! That doctor is crazy! He should lose his license for giving you advice like that!" -- Similar to remarks today about the Covid vaccine!

I was shocked when I received the results, it was cancerous, a basal cell carcinoma and I was going to need surgery! My friends were all shocked as well that it happened to ME who had always been so careful.

But my memory was jogged! At age 15 because my natural blonde hair had darkened I took a bottle of lemon juice along with tanning lotion for my skin and sat out in the sun for hours, I was tired of being that pale girl on the beach who was constantly ridiculed in the TV commercials!

Well the lemon juice didn't lighten my hair and when I showed up for school the following Monday I had a new set of freckles all over my face and body. I wince about that now.

Also I believe my trips to Ecuador, the Galapagos Islands, and Thailand factored in. All are extremely sunny places and I was outdoors sightseeing, often in boats or on top of elephants. A hat only protected the top half of my face and sunscreen wears off. 

Now that surgery was required I'd be left with an even bigger, uglier scar than with the biopsy due to the location. This was an area of the face where the skin gets stretched.

However a scar was still better than the alternative. Thank goodness people were still wearing masks. I'd be needing one more than ever!

My surgery was scheduled for a Wednesday. The Monday before around 8:30 AM I turned on my computer after which I went back into the kitchen to put the breakfast dishes away. From there I heard a boom in my computer room. I soon discovered that I was unable to connect to the internet. And worse; my phone & TV were also out!

I don't own a cellphone. (Yeah I'm THAT person!) So I had to go next door to borrow theirs. ATT wanted to send a repairman over on Wednesday. I informed them I was having surgery then, besides I needed it before that! The doctor's office might need to reach me!

Thursday AM was the best they could do! I was going to be without everything but electricity for 3 miserable days. The last time this happened was well over a decade ago on a 4th of July weekend. My friend Pat (now deceased) who lived in North Florida tried for days to reach me.

Her call came thru while the repairman was here. She told me that had I not picked up, her next call would have been to the police. She feared I'd been murdered!

So now I was soon to undergo surgery and no one would be able to reach me afterward. And all of my friends will think I died!

My friend Marie, unable to contact me came knocking on my door. We sat and had coffee together. I mentioned that the doctor's office might be trying to get in touch with me. She whipped out her cellphone and told me to call them.

Gadzooks! They had been trying to reach me all day! The pathologist was unavailable and my surgery needed to be rescheduled!

Had Marie not come over, I would have gotten up extra early the following morning and driven there only to be sent home!!!

And had I known about this Monday I could have had ATT here and everything would have been restored a day earlier. UGH!!!

LET THERE BE DARKNESS

 

Ah, Eastern Standard Time is only days away! If you know me at all, you know how much I hate Daylight Savings Time! Here in Florida we get way too much heat and sunshine as it is!

Eastern Standard Time means cooler temperatures and the holidays (best time of the year) will soon be arriving along with the early darkness!

I recall that 100 acre estate my family rented when I was a child. One of the many things I miss about those days is that it was allowed to be dark outside. Here, where I currently live, the homes are all lit up like road houses.

I loved and miss that feeling of sitting outside in darkness lit up only by stars and fireflies. It felt almost magical! At night the crickets and bullfrogs were so loud they sounded like a stadium speaker. To me, it was white noise and lulled me to sleep. I found it comforting.

People noise is the exact the opposite! Many times I've been awakened by cars after midnight with their music blaring or people walking by outside gabbing loudly. It's annoying and an invasion of my solitude!

But I realize the world has changed dramatically since my childhood. We are all less safe! Thus the reason my father insisted on a house with neighbors close by.

However I felt far safer on the isolated 100 acre property! Fewer people knew we were there. It was way more private! No strange cars ever drove by that house. Yes I know, all it takes is just one of the wrong people to discover your whereabouts!

Here, I have a bright light in the front yard plus a streetlamp that lights up my entire back yard. And my neighbor's homes are so lit-up that I receive plenty of their fallout.

My neighbors on the south side were the worst! When they moved in over a decade ago their blazing side and back lights shined directly into my home which has lots of big picture windows. Back then I had paper thin white blinds that were useless.

I prefer watching TV in the dark and this was intrusive! One even shone directly into my face as I tried to enjoy it. I complained but they ignored me!

For the sake of my sanity I was forced to purchase expensive heavy blinds that block out all light. But they proved to be worth every cent! They're dark gray and match my carpet. When opened during the day they hang like drapes and look lovely. Best money I ever spent!