Inside my house, I have caught lizards, bees, wasps, even snakes and a bat. I took them all outside to freedom. However, my compassion does not extend to cockroaches (or children!) Whenever I spot one in my home my reaction is the same as if it was a burglar. -- I want it DEAD and out of here!
As I opened my front door early one morning, 2 small cockroaches rushed inside! I was barefoot. Not having time to reach for the spray or fly-swatter, I slapped them both dead with my hand. -- Hands are easier to clean than feet.
Usually, when dealing with roaches, I prefer a fly-swatter. Insecticide has toxic fumes! --My house is closed shut nearly half the year due to air-conditioning. I don't want that poison in my lungs! Also spray takes too long to kill them. The roaches flail and flop around like a ham Hollywood actor in a death scene. Worse, they prefer going behind my oven or washing machine to go belly-up, someplace where I can't retrieve and properly dispose of the body. This becomes embarrassing when I'm forced to call a repairman.
One had the nerve to imply that if I was a better housekeeper, I wouldn't have bugs!
My mother and step-mother were both immaculate housekeepers, yet we still had cockroaches, along with all the other creatures. My father refused to pay an exterminator because they were not an every day pest. I agree. Besides, this is Florida! Our state bird is the cockroach, or it should be. And we have giant ones, too!
A few decades back, a national pest control company held a contest. The biggest cockroach carcass would win! Anyone who has grown up in this state knows how to give themself a winning edge. But it involves cheating! -- Just catch a roach, put it in a jar, poke holes in the top, toss in a cookie piece and a soggy bread crust. Before long, you'll have a home-grown monster!
Of course I'd go them one better. I'd add a dampened vitamin pill. I know I could have easily won! -- Unfortunately, I learned of this contest too late.
When I was a child, a visiting Aunt claimed to have seen a monster cockroach in our guesthouse. It kept her awake all night! "The creature was the size of a lemon!" she exclaimed.
"Oh that's nothing," I replied. "We found one under the sink the size of a banana!" My mother shot me a dirty look. She'd deal with me later. But my aunt bought it! That was fun!
In our former home, my father often doused our kitchen with pesticide before we retired for the night. The fumes spread throughout the entire house. This made me gag! I never could get it across that he was shortening our lives! -- He probably didn't care!
I rarely get out of bed to snack, (almost never) however one night long ago, I just couldn't get that turkey pasta salad out of my head. Half-asleep I switched on the light. Glaring at me from the middle of the refrigerator was a behemoth! I reached for the can of pesticide on the counter and sprayed dead-on! This leviathan flew directly at me, landing in my hair! I jumped wildly, shaking and twisting my body doing the most bizarre dance you could ever imagine. The bug clung tight! Eventually, it dropped onto the floor and raced under the counter.
Cockroaches survived the cataclysm that obliterated the dinosaurs. They could survive a nuclear blast and gamma rays as well! These bugs will inherit the earth. (No doubt in my mind!) Long after humankind has destroyed itself, its bones turned to ash and blowing in the polluted air. The roach will evolve. Eons from now, as the sun dims and the earth cools, swarms of roaches will be climbing into their spaceships searching for other planets to infest.
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