I WANT TO BE YOUR WIDOW

Back when I was little, a frequent question to parents was, "What do you want him/ her to be when they grow up?" -- Nowadays, you seldom hear it.

"Either a teacher or a nurse," was the answer my folks always gave.

Well, nobody ever asked me! Actually, that's probably a good thing. Because I wanted to be a widow. All the cool people on the TV sitcoms were widows or widowers. It was glamorous! Divorce still carried a stigma in those days. Also as I’ve learned firsthand, a widow is revered in our society, a spinster is not. 

Widowhood is the ideal existence! You get to keep all your spouse's money and possessions without one around to bother you or cramp your style. Who could complain!

But then, I can stand only so much of other people. Had I been a nurse, I'd probably poison all my patients just to end their annoying whining. As for school teacher, it wouldn't be a student bringing a gun to class and shooting the kids! I know I’d snap eventually. I understand too well how someone can go postal.

A former therapist told me I shouldn’t say things like that, not even in jest, because I have a history other people don’t. But this is my blog and I refuse to censor myself.

Men have a tendency to be suffocating. Plus I'm sick of dates accusing me of being a lesbian and calling me frigid. -- My definition of frigid is super cool! Besides, I don't live my life to please men or anyone else. Others have always been a poor judge of my needs.

Of course I’d want to be a WEALTHY widow! I’d spend my life traveling, writing, and taking self-improvement classes like art.

A woman, with whom I once worked, said God did not intend for anyone to be alone.

Because there are far more women on this planet than men, I'm inclined to think he did! -- Unless God favors polygamy! Hey, most of the old geezers in the Bible had multiple wives. So maybe the Mormons got it right!

In the later part of my life, I have received 2 serious marriage proposals. Both men were financially comfortable, also healthy. -- I did not want to become a self-made widow! I saw the writing on the wall and it was written in blood.

Never, would I become involved with a significantly younger man. They are just too likely to outlive me. I simply cannot have that! Should I ever marry, my husband MUST die first! That would be in the pre-nup, I'd insist!

More than one person has told me that I should be out looking for a husband just for the sake of my economic survival.

A friend urged me to sign up for PRECISION DATING. I don't really qualify since they want only UPSCALE singles. If I was any more downscale, I'd be living in a tent in the woods, or in my 1997 station wagon. The 30 year old guy who tends my lawn owns a newer and more expensive car.

Should I in my old age, end up living in a car or a tent; it will be one hundred percent MY car or tent.  I am finally dancing to my own beat. The folks are gone. I did the bullets-under-the-feet jig far too long.

Never, have I believed in that soul mate crap! I'm a whole me, not a half of someone else!