STAR TREKKED, MY SPACESHIP WRECKED

I will venture a guess that you thought Gene Roddenberry was the 1st person to come up with the concept behind STAR TREK. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! -- It was actually ME!!! At long last I am here to set the record straight.

As a pre-teen, I led an alternate life in fantasy. In it, my family and I had been reincarnated several hundred years in the future. (I've always felt that I was born in the wrong era!) Our ancestors were Earth people, we were not. We came from a planet unknown to previous generations called Vulcan! (That's right, Vulcan! The 1st claim was mine. Got that!!!) We didn't look like our Earth ancestors. Our ears weren't long, pointy and silly looking like Mr. Spock. But our eyes were slanted and cat-like just as the females in THE CAT WOMEN ON THE MOON film. -- They were sooo exotically beautiful!

Of course in my fantasy I looked like a teen version of actress Chelo Alonso, except with blonde hair. -- I was born a blonde.

My family and I lived on a spaceship and traveled to distant universes. You might say were space gypsies! And like any good fantasy, we could enter other dimensions and travel back and forth thru time. In fact, that's how we lost my mother!

Attila the Hun captured and boiled her in soup. Her body was skinned and put on a pole like a scarecrow. His warriors used it for target practice with their spears. The boiled carcass was chopped up and fed to captive Roman soldiers who were sent to assassinate Attila.

We thought about going back in history to rescue her, but decided against it. Because that would have upset the natural flow of time and space. -- We could have ceased to exist!!! Or the universe might end up under control of the Cyborg Crabs.

However, my mother messed up the natural order by getting captured! This allowed a particularly evil race called the XOXOS from beyond Cassiopeia to enter ancient Earth history. Once there, they scooped up large numbers of Huns and other primitive tribes, taking them back to their native planet.

There, they were breed and raised like pit bulls to fight each other for the entertainment of the scaly XOXOS. Eventually, an uprising occurred! The Barbarians killed all of the XOXOS, but not before learning the technology and mastering their extensive array of advanced weaponry! A NEW AND WORSE SCOURGE EMERGED! -- They bore an almost EXACT likeness to the Klingons!!! We just called them the Barbarians.

As a result of their savagery, our home planet of Vulcan was destroyed and left a fiery wasteland. Fortunately, there was no need to return. Our spaceship was our true home. We lived unfettered, our lives filled with adventures!

When I got older, I planned to write them all down. I thought it would be a terrific book or a TV series!

Only months before my 16th birthday, STAR TREK premiered. $#iX*! Noooooo! I was totally freaked by what I was seeing and hearing on my TV screen!!! I could not believe it!!! The similitude was uncanny. It was as if my thoughts had been stolen!!! It was too eerie a coincidence.

At the time, my mother was going thru her breakdown and experiencing full-blown paranoid schizophrenic delusions. She believed the Red Chinese had marked us from birth. Soon, they would come in the night and take us all back to mainland China for vivisection. She stayed up nights watching the river behind our house. She began memorizing the Bible just like the main character in THE BOOK OF ELI. Mom heroically planned to foil the anti-Christ, herself! Also she was convinced the government was experimenting on us by reading our thoughts.

Hmmm, I began wondering if that particular one had some basis in fact. Obviously the government had a Hollywood connection. That would explain a lot! -- Rumors were circulating about a shadowy government agency murdering Marilyn Monroe to keep her quiet. Makes a person wonder about other things! Stranger things have happened. I'm just saying!