ACID REFLUX SUCKS

I felt like the Dragon Lady! Every time I opened my mouth I expected blazing flames to shoot forth. The head of anyone facing me would be incinerated, a fiery cinder atop charred vertebrae. At times, I was actually disappointed this didn't happen. Some folks just get on your last raw nerve.

Perhaps it's old age kicking me in the gut. The change of life has already smacked me with several unpleasant surprises. This one started with a sharp pain in my upper abdomen like a knife. Later, a similar one in my lower stomach. Food began to taste nasty. I wondered why everything in my fridge and pantry suddenly went rancid. The internal inferno soon followed. I worried that I had stomach cancer.

I made an appointment at a medical clinic on 37th Street. The doctor pressed down on my abdomen. "With cancer the pain is usually stationary, " she said. "It sounds to me like GERD, or Acid Reflux Disease."

My frequent migraines finally were attenuating and now this!

I went on the Prilosec 14 day plan. It worked, I thought I was cured! Two months later, the fire in my chest and throat returned with a vengeance! Again, with the Prilosec. This time it was useless. Then I tried Zantac, Maalox, Tums, and everything else. There was no relief!

Again, I thought of cancer, which runs in my family. I decided to have a Cat Scan. The evening before and twice on the day of, I had to drink a huge glass of a milky substance. It tasted like a fruit smoothie made of rotten fruit.

Before the scan, I had to sign a paper acknowledging that I may die from the procedure. I told the physician had I known, I would have updated my Will. He guffawed and said it was only there as a precaution. I was in no real danger.

No cancer, but the bill was astronomical!!! I cannot afford Health Insurance. Plus the internal inferno still blazed, burning me alive from the inside out!

Around the corner was an Herbalist. She put together a number of items including herb tea along with instructions. I love tea, but I hate the herbal variety. Anyway, I got sick from all that stuff! I was throwing it up! I got a refund.

I tried a different clinic and was given a prescription. Ten minutes after I took it, I felt as if a flame-thrower had been shot into my chest. As if I was literally on fire! In the throes of agony, immediately I phoned the clinic. I spoke with the doctor. She told me not to take any more. -- Duh!!! I was left to suffer. The prescription was expensive, but I was refunded.

Shortly after, a book signing with other authors was scheduled. The night before, the internal inferno made me unable to sleep. In desperation I swallowed mouthfuls of toothpaste to cool the fire. -- I got relief! I put on my glasses to read the ingredients. CALL POISON CONTROL IMMEDIATELY IF SWALLOWED instantly caught my eye! The time was around 2:00 AM.. I feared I would end up in a hospital emergency room!

"But I ate toothpaste as a child," I told the lady at the other end of the line.

"We all did," she replied. I was instructed to drink a tall glass of milk and return to bed.

Later I searched the Internet for Acid Reflux cures. Plenty claimed to be sure fire ones! All from people who were hawking books. I kept searching. Several home remedies included apple cider vinegar and yellow mustard. (Both felt as if I'd tossed a grenade on a bonfire!) Apple, papaya, and aloe were suggested as well. These were pleasant, but ineffective.

I take a number of vitamins. Usually, I get them via the mail. One day in town, I went inside a Health Food store for Wheat Germ capsules. As I chatted with the saleslady, I related my ordeal with Acid Reflux.

She suggested Multi-Enzyme tablets and Bromelain. "Take 2 tablets of the former after each meal and 1 of the later before bedtime," she said.

Relief came almost immediately! This worked better than anything I had tried! I enjoyed several pain-free years. Again, I thought I was cured!

Excitedly I embarked on a 2 day trip to EPCOT without them. -- No problems. Upon my return, the infernal inferno resumed, excruciatingly painful as ever! My old reliables failed to rescue me this time. Famotidine worked for awhile.

Nowadays, I alternate treatments. (All of the above!) It's an ongoing war keeping the internal inferno down to a flicker.