RED FLAG FLYING HIGH

Early in 2003, Eileen was holding a Birthday Tea in her home for another friend and I was invited. She wanted to introduce me to her close neighbor "Buzz", a single man.

"He'll make the perfect boyfriend for you," she claimed. "Buzz is old-fashioned in many ways. Also he'll never suffocate you," she told me. "He enjoys his own space, just as you do."

I was eager to meet him.

Buzz seemed nice enough and he wasn't bad-looking. As I left, it started to rain. He offered to walk me to my car. Buzz insisted on holding the umbrella over my head. How gallant, I thought.

"I don't want the color in your hair to run." He chuckled.

I figured he was just trying to be cute.

We scheduled a date a month later. Which was the soonest we could make it. He was recovering from an injury to his dominant arm.

Valentine's Day was the following week. I thought surely, if nothing else, I'd get a card, or at least a phone call. -- I got nothing!

"Oh, he's just not the thoughtful type," Eileen told me later.

That proved to be an understatement!

The day before our date, he phoned to re-schedule. Another couple had invited him to a celebration. And he couldn't turn them down! After we hung up, I wondered why he didn't just bring me along.

When our date came, I mentioned that my outfit with the matching bracelet & necklace I was wearing for the 1st time.

"I see you bought out Walmart, or was it Target." He laughed.

Actually I had purchased this ensemble from Goodwill. But I decided to keep this info to myself. Because he was too eager to make jokes at my expense. Which he continued to do throughout our date.

At the restaurant, he asked me what kind of wrinkle cream I used. Because, "Wow, it really worked well!"

That was the nicest thing he ever said to me!!! -- I explained that only wrinkle cream I use is sunscreen. I've been using it since age 25 on the advice of a Dermatologist. And yes, it really has kept my skin youthful.

He began making comments belittling my intelligence.

I put up with put downs from my parents for 50 yrs.. I wasn't eager to go back to that! Now that they were gone, my life was more serene and less complicated. I really didn't need this!

It's eye-opening and mind-boggling the number of men who get their jollies from putting women down.

He proceeded to tell the filthiest joke I've ever heard in my life. Believe me, I've heard some dirty ones, too! And NO, I am not going to repeat it here.

Also I discovered Buzz loved to drink. I don't!

I called my elderly friend Eileen afterward. I told her I thought he was a real jackass! And I didn't want to see him again.

Eileen urged me to give him another chance. "He's actually is a good guy," she insisted. "He changed the battery in my smoke detector. I can always count on him for anything."

Buzz gave me a call. He recently had returned to work. He complained of having a hard time reaching me on the phone. -- I didn't have an answering machine, then. The one I brought from Stuart never worked in this house. I told him I'd buy a new one. Which I did.

I was unclear with the directions. And if installed incorrectly, it warned of fire. Yikes! I asked Buzz for help. Well, he told me to hire a handyman! The jerk! -- He would have me pay someone $70. to install my $15. answering machine! Plus more jokes deriding my intelligence.

That was it for me!!!

Later, Eileen and I planned to attend a formal Tea at the Garden Club. Her friend, "Melinda" would be sitting with us. Eileen cautioned me not to mention that I had been out with Buzz. Because Melinda was eager to date him, but he never called her.

I told her Melinda was lucky! When I met Melinda, I thought she was WAY too classy for that guy!