THE FLUSHED HOT FLASHER

At the age of 50, I underwent the change-of-life. Thus ending the dreaded monthly curse. I embraced it. This happened the summer my father was hospitalized with a stroke. I felt blessed the change occurred then. Because it was one less thing to stress over.


Aside from an occasional migraine, I suffered no side effects. This ended after my father's death from cancer a year later. Then, frequent miserable migraines and horrendous hot flashes descended upon me like demons!


Since I've already blogged about the migraine mania, this entry will deal with my hot flash hell. My body burned with the red-hot coals of Hades every 10 to 15 minutes. I kept a glass of ice-water nearby at all times.


I considered estrogen. But when I learned it's derived from torturing pregnant mares, I discarded that idea fast! I tried the soy variety, as well as black cohosh. Both did nothing to relieve my symptoms.


To keep my electric bills down, the air-conditioner is always set on 80 degrees with fans running and shades drawn. For this reason, I've always felt comfortable living in the nude during the warmer months. The only time I bother to dress is when I'm going out. Of course I keep colorful caftans nearby should I need to answer my door or get the mail.


I'll always remember the time my stepmother went loopy with dementia and stood topless on her balcony. She flashed oncoming traffic as well as neighbors. I've joked to friends that one day I'm liable to forget and stroll naked out to my mailbox!


Already I've suffered some embarrassing moments! As I was sorting laundry, I happened to look out. My neighbor and his buddy from across the street were seated in lawn chairs. They had been watching me through the back French door. Quickly I fled the room! I slipped on my caftan. Then I placed my ironing board across the long glass to block their view.


Another time, I turned off the air conditioner and decided to open my large bedroom window. I saw no one outside. So as a full frontal nude, I lifted the pane. A loud exclamation of shock resounded from outside! A neighbor 2 houses over was standing up in the boat parked in his driveway. Apparently he was hidden when I looked out!


Once, a painter showed up unexpectedly for work at 7:00 A.M.. This incident was so traumatic and embarrassing I'm going to devote an entire blog to it later.


I should add that I never shade my wide and only bedroom window because it makes the room too dark. I just try to be more circumspect, now. Because this is my favorite place to read in the afternoon. I do it sprawled on the floor (same as when I was a kid) under that window.


I rarely read fiction. I love history books! Also I enjoy books that deal with the paranormal. Which many people consider to be fiction. But I've had so many weird, jaw-dropping occurrences in my life, I know better.


If the dead are watching me, they are certainly getting an eye-full!