A DARK SIDE OF FACEBOOK

Facebook has many dark sides. This is just one.

By nature, I'm a private person. However my Timeline is public. This is only because I'm an independent author and it's necessary to promote my work.

Getting a page on Facebook is like buying a house on a busy city street. You have a locked iron gate out front and just behind are steps leading up to a wide open front door. Many just pass by. But there's some who pull out binoculars, lean on that gate trying to see as much as they can. And there are others who hurl their feces over the gate and into your living room. It takes awhile to remove the stain and stench.

Recently I was verbally attacked twice with barrages of profanity and insults. The first and worst was on messenger in private by someone clearly mentally unhinged. Regrettably I had accepted his friendship request only minutes earlier. Had this been politically motivated it would not have upset me as much! This attack against me was personal after I tried setting boundaries with him.

When I accept a friendship request I would never dream of rummaging thru someone's photos beyond what is currently displayed on their Timeline & news feed. Yet people think nothing of snooping thru mine! I find this creepy and stalker-like, but usually say nothing. However this one guy immediately rubbed me the wrong way. So I asked him why he found it necessarily to ferret thru my photos as he was doing! 

  

Then I was called every vile name you can imagine combined with a long list of personal insults! His language was so extremely profane and over-the-top it was not that of a stable person! The cherry on top was that after vetting me I was unworthy of him and he was unfriending me!

However to make certain he was gone permanently I BLOCKED him.

This coward didn't give his actual name. It was that of a cartoon character with whom I was unfamiliar. But that didn't detour me from filing a complaint with Facebook.  -- I don't know if they actually did anything. These days too many people can't string a simple sentence together without lacing it full of vulgarity they may just have ignored my complaint.

In the weeks that followed I noticed more comments from recently friended persons going thru both my new & old albums not visible on my Timeline. I posted I did not appreciate it and I wished people would stop doing it!

This time I was attacked with gutter language and insults right on my Timeline! Afterward, I considered deleting all my photos and thus rid myself of snooping strangers. And I still might do that! The next time my Tech guy comes over I intend to make some significant changes.

In the meantime I'm blocking so many that soon I'll have more of those than Facebook's so-called friends!

Another unhinged person whom I blocked was a woman whose friendship I accepted out of pity. She was around my age, in a wheelchair tending a sick mother and seemed desperately lonely. Shortly after I accepted her friendship request she suggested the two of us get a house and move in together. Gadzooks we were both STRANGERS!

I tried distancing myself. But nearly every day she sent long, rambling messages in private about her past, things she experienced and her philosophies, relationship with God, etc. -- I didn't know what to say, so I'd just give a thumb's up and left it at that.

She angrily complained that I was rudely dismissing her!

I told her that I didn't understand how she could be lonely with her mother around for company. She berated me for focusing on that and nothing else. Then added that she could tell I didn't have many friends and I liked it that way! -- She hit the nail on the head there! This is true!

Now I'd had it! I told her that I found her draining and it was past time we went our separate ways. I blocked her immediately afterward!

And I've blocked plenty of men who were clearly romantic scammers. Facebook extends invitations that I never would! I don't understand why they encourage messaging in private from total strangers!

These days I am more selective than ever and quick to block.

THE STALKING SHADOW

Mysteriously she appeared during the Covid-19 shut-down. I noticed her silhouette in my peripheral vision, this shadowy profile of a strange woman but always in my left eye only. It seemed like something out of a horror tale. Something Stephen King would write! Nah, NOT Stephen King -- Clive Barker! But those guys probably aren't dealing with eye issues.

Even after the shut-down ended the vision center was still booking emergencies only. So I waited. My friend Marie urged me to call. On June 1 I did. I told the clinic I didn't consider it an emergency. They disagreed! I was instructed to come in 8:45 AM the following morning.

Now I was worried, but relieved to get an AM appointment since afternoons tended to be stormy. And I have driven in blinding rain where I could see nothing but the taillights of the car in front of me. I didn't want to be in a likewise situation with dilated pupils, dark glasses, & blurry vision.

However the next morning this weather pattern had reversed, rain was coming down in buckets as I drove to the clinic. But thankfully the sky cleared for my drive home.

This was my 3rd emergency visit to the eye clinic since my cataract surgery in 2017.

I actually thought cataract surgery would end all my vision problems; instead it was just the start! The light flashes not only remain, now there's even more. Plus I've got eye floaters galore; big black ones, small brown ones, and jelly ones like small drops of Vaseline that blur my vision in places. The later are the result of posterior vitreous detachment which I have in both eyes now. My vision is similar to peering thru a glass of swamp water during a lightning storm.

After a series of tests, I was informed that this silhouette of a well-defined feminine profile was just another symptom of my posterior vitreous detachment. It could be removed by laser along with many floaters for a mere $7000. UGH!

I have more pressing expenses, many more! Nor do I have a wide enough circle of friends and acquaintances for a Go Fund Me page. Plus I don't have the type of personality most people can relate to. Since this is not serious, only annoying I'm just going to live with it. I'd rather spend that $7000 on a great trip, repairs to my home, or most likely the next big unexpected expense that raises its ugly head!

I'm just grateful this isn't more severe!

Around this time, a close friend's father was handed a death sentence from cancer and she was researching funeral homes. "Everything is so expensive I don't understand how anyone can afford to die," she told me.

From my experience you can't even afford to get sick unless you're rich! If I'm anything like my parents this is only the beginning, far more grievous and expensive maladies are on the horizon.

When MY end comes, I won't have to worry about funeral expenses, they'll be selling my body parts just to make a dent in all the medical debts I'll probably be leaving behind.

In the meantime, I'm doing everything I can to keep healthy and out of hospitals. But it may not be enough.

Since benign and not evil, I'm going to live with the witch in my left eye as I call her. But if I ever hear voices in my head that are not my own I'm going to be splashing that eye with holy water and contacting an exorcist!

FINALLY!!!

At long last the Covid-19 face masks I ordered from Amazon (April 2) have arrived! That slow boat (or plane) from Zhejiang, China has finally reached our shores. Now I can roll up my do-rag and put it back in the drawer.

I'd joked that a cure would probably be discovered first. Sadly, this is not the case. However I'm all set for the second wave. And too many fools seem determined to make that happen!

Also I ordered a big broad-brimmed hat with a huge shield attached that comes down to the chest. (I'm still waiting for that.)You can be sure it will be a regular part of my summer wardrobe every time I set foot in public.

Mostly, I plan on staying home until the virus is under control. Yes, I miss dinning out and going to movies. The theatres here remain closed.

However I'm enjoying a wide variety of films on my DVR in what I call my living room theatre. I enjoy double features on Friday night and all afternoon matinees on Saturdays.

And I do what I refer to as eating-out-at-home. Always I set a pretty table for myself with different color schemes and decorations, but now when seated I make up different names of restaurants such as: Cafe Fandango, The Hidden Garden Bistro, or The Serendipity Diner and pretend I'm eating there.

Should we be slammed by a second wave of the virus in autumn, (I hope NOT!) it will coincide with peak hurricane season. Shudder and horrors, it's forecast to be an unusually active one! A strike would be a worst case scenario!

Several years in a row we've experienced close calls with deadly Cat 4's here on the Treasure Coast. If hit, I hope my house is still standing by Thanksgiving. But even if struck by a Cat 1 my home theatre along with all my imaginary restaurants will be closed for repairs.

However when you're inside a sweltering, boarded-up house with no air-conditioning or electricity of any kind, a can of soup served at room temperature is mighty tasty.

But please, no virus!

OUT TO LUNCH, AGAIN

During the shut-down I missed dining out terribly, but at the same time felt it was too soon to resume afterward. However around the middle of May, I met a friend for lunch in a popular restaurant at the airport. I had not seen her in a long while and Sue is a cherished friend, one of a rare few whose company I actually enjoy. She was worth the risk.

We chose that particular restaurant because they had INDOOR seating along with the necessary limited capacity and distancing. I've never been a fan of outdoor dining because this is Florida; blazing sun, heat, humidity, bugs, etc.

Our lunch together was especially nice. Besides Sue's company, it felt uplifting to put on make-up, wear stylish clothes and go out someplace that's not the grocery store or bank.

Sue made the reservation almost 2 weeks in advance to avoid waiting in a long line. We'd read in the newspaper that the public was now out in droves here on the Treasure Coast. However the restaurant was almost empty. During normal times it's bustling!

But this actually worked quite well for us. We felt safer. We're both in the high risk category. Also Sue & I enjoy sitting and visiting for hours after the meal. This way, we weren't holding up a table and could hang out there as long as we wanted. We always schedule our lunches after the noon rush anyway.

Neither of us wore masks. I'm still awaiting the ones I ordered on Amazon (April 2). They must be literally coming on that proverbial slow boat from China!

However Sue gave me a valuable tip! She pulled out a sleep mask to show me how she uses it to cover the lower part of her face. (You can buy them at the Dollar Store!) I have several at home and tried this, later. They cover all the right places and fit snugly. The only problem is I find them difficult to breathe. It feels as if being suffocated by a cushion to me. My do-rag is more comfortable. But a sleep mask with do in an emergency.

If Sue wants to get together for lunch again, we will, although it must be with all the proper precautions in place.

For the most part, I'm sticking close to home until the virus is under control. I can't afford health insurance and despite my age I'm ineligible for Medicare. A hospital stay would ruin me financially! So I must take this seriously!!!

HAPPY NO-MOMMIES DAY!

My mother was like the Godfather (or Donald Trump with the ego to match) if she did anything for you she expected a ginormous favor in return, but others were too dim to get that part!

As an adult orphan and childless woman, I have commandeered Mother's Day!!! In this house it's called: NO-MOMMIES DAY! I celebrate my mother's absence, NOT being stuck with kids, and my freedom!

About half my friends have never been mothers. A dear one who is past age 60 confided that she's always felt a tinge of sadness on this day for never having been a mom.

I reminded her that it's not too late! She's a successful business woman who can easily afford to buy a kid. Lord knows there's plenty on the market! They even sell them in newspapers and on TV.  However the latter are older, just like dogs they're a harder commodity to push. Most people want their human pet young like a puppy.

There is no doubt in my mind this lady would make a great mother, but it would be at the price of her happiness. She likes to work and play hard, as well make frequent spur of the moment plans and trips. A kid would put a damper on all this. Unless of course she hired a live-in nanny and I can't picture her doing that. She loves children and even volunteers helping abused and neglected kids. As a mother, she would be hands-on. And this might make her happy, but nowhere near as happy as she is child free now. 

I'm a completely different personality type. I enjoy my quiet alone time. I actually look forward to coming home to an empty house. People noise drives me straight up the walls and kids make way too much of that!

When almost everyone was confined to their home due to the pandemic, I asked her, "Aren't you glad you don't have to put up with any whiny, screaming kids now?" And she agreed being childless was a blessing!

A few decades back, my father was friendly with a man who had 6 kids. He confessed right in front of me that he loved his children, but if he could turn back the clock, he would never had a one. "I just can't deal with all the problems they bring and it doesn't end when they turn adults," he lamented.

When I look at friends and acquaintances with children and all the problems they're forced to endure, not to mention the expense, I find myself pitying them.

I'll admit I'm not the nurturing type. Neither was my mother although she liked to pretend to be around other people.

A therapist once asked me if I felt short changed never having had a family. I told her, "Hell no! That's the one thing about my life I love the most!"

GREAT HAIR BUT I'M STUCK IN MY LAIR

Reading about all the desperate measures women are resorting to these days because salons are closed gives me a chuckle. I did that dance so many times and for so long I know it by heart. During my blonde years I was covering dark roots and as a redhead my roots were gray. Not to mention I've been every color in-between concealing roots as well.

For the most part I was a home hair-dyer. But those chemicals were strong and damaging to the hair if used too often, so putting up with roots for awhile needed to be tolerated. And I became quite creative.

I have wigs in many different styles & colors. But now there's a new trend that leaves me mystified -- wigs with dark roots! Why???? This is so stupid!!! The purpose of a wig is to conceal them, not show them off!

However this being Florida the weather is too hot and humid most of the time for wigs so I've spent months wearing hats and turbans.

Some have commented that I'm the first woman they've ever seen who looks good in a turban. I must point out this all depends on the turban! Cheap ones make everyone look ugly! Buy one from either a wig or specialty shop. Those are really stylish! And if you look attractive in a hat you'll be equally attractive in a turban.

However now that I've gone natural, life is a lot less bother.

Not too long ago my locks were slashed shorter than ever. (Shorter than in the photo!) I was sporting one of those mannish cuts I absolutely abhor. But I had to make certain all that Brazilian blow-out junk was gone! This had been an expensive mistake and disaster! The results were nothing like the stylists assured. I should have taken before & after photos and sued that salon!

However that hideous man-cut has grown out several inches and is now looking really cute! But sadly I can't treat myself to anyplace nice in pretty clothes due to the coronavirus! The irony!!! Boo hoo

I'd post a photo on Facebook except that I don't own a cellphone. I'm home 90 per cent of the time under normal circumstances so a landline works for me. Besides cellphones are too small and look as if they were made for elves. I always wonder if they're manufactured in a cave next to that hollow tree where the cookies are made.

Of course I'll need another haircut eventually and by then the salons will be swamped! But never fear if nothing else I'm resourceful!

LONG hair is easy to cut yourself, especially a blunt cut. While my hair is growing out I'll just have to resort to cover-ups. I certainly have a wide variety to choose from!

Unless anyone hasn't yet figured this out, here's how to cut longer hair yourself. First, sharpen your scissors! Do this by folding a piece of tinfoil multiple times and then cut this into shreds.

Since my hair is wavy/frizzy I need to trim it wet. This makes it easier, period.

Part your hair down the middle lining it up with your nose. Do this all the way down the back, pull both sides forward. Comb, then snip, snip on each side. -- It's easier than baking biscuits from a canister!

If you don't want a blunt cut, try this: after the initial trim, part your hair behind the ears & tie back. Pull the front forward on each side. Cut each on a slant. Then separate the back half & pin it away from your face. Now cut the remaining 2 sides on a slant as well & you are done!

However for a decent SHORT cut I recommend a stylist!

If I had to, I could get by never having to go to a salon again. But sometimes I'm just in the mood for a change. Plus really short hair is a time-saver; it requires nothing more than shampoo, mousse, and air-drying! I've come to love the convenience and its Florida friendly!

WEIRD TIMES

The Coronavirus already had gained a foothold as people were starting to get sick and die close to home. Everyone was now being urged to self isolate, sheltering in place. That AM I read my online horoscope, paraphrasing it read: "Today is the day to get out and socialize meet as many new people as you can!" I almost burst out laughing! I don't have a death wish.

I am not a believer in astrology although I took it quite seriously back in my teens during the 1960's. -- I'm a Capricorn, moon in Aquarius, Leo rising. But I came to my senses by the time I enrolled in Community College.

Who but Nostradamus could have predicted our current world pandemic? Many are swearing he did, others insist his predictions are deliberately being molded to fit the situation as jello into a goblet. Preachers do this all the time, advertisers, too. And I've done this myself at networking events to promote my books.

Still the world has gone weird! Seeing cashiers behind plexiglass shields at grocery stores plus having to stand 6 feet away from everyone seems downright bizarre. Add to that all those face masks on shoppers and life feels downright surreal. Could any of us have imagined this a year ago?

I cannot get my hands on a face mask! I'm still waiting on Amazon! However do-rags work better than scarves, they have long ties. Also I wear a small canvas hat with a brim all the way around. No longer do I put on make-up to go shopping. Between the rag and the hat no one can see my face. I may as well be wearing burqa.

And suddenly I feel self-conscious about my acid reflux cough. I worry about having a spell in the store and men in hazmat suits appearing out of nowhere dragging me away.

Plus they're enforcing safe distancing at a time I've never seen stores more crowded or shelves more empty! Senior Shopping Hour is early and this is Florida & Vero Beach, most of the citizenry here is seniors!

Ferreting thru an old purse I discovered a huge pile of napkins I'd squirreled away from various restaurants. It felt like Christmas! And I had a box of disposable plastic gloves left over from my hair-dying days. Now was their chance to shine again!

I needed to deposit a refund check and since I don't own a mobile phone (& no plans to get one) I had to stop at the bank. Attired in my hat, dark sunglasses, & do-rag worn bandit style I went in the drive thru. A few months ago this would have caused alarms to blare and police sirens in the distance heading my way! However I did see a flash of fear in the teller's eyes when she first spotted me.

Directly afterward I bought eggs, fresh fruit, & veggies at the grocery store, no T.P. but I still considered my day a success!

Traffic was similar to summer (after the tourists & snowbirds have gone home) with the exception of the mall & big shopping plaza behind the bank. They looked deserted and abandoned.

My big fear is that after the Coronavirus ends life will dramatically slide downhill never to recover. We don't exactly have the most competent or honest people running our country now. There's constant tension in the air.

But there are some bright spots. I got my Starz-Showtime package back. Of course I'm paying more than before! "You don't have anything else to spend your money on," a friend told me. That's true, my income goes mostly to frivolous things like Food, Electricity, Water, Taxes, Insurance, etc. -- But I never needed that movie package as much as now! Theatres are closed!

And then there's my friends, Rose dropped off a few rolls of toilet tissue which have become more precious than gold or diamonds. Marie left me a small blooming plant with pink flowers which I placed in my bedroom window. And that same week Sue sent me an early Easter card.

I look forward to the day when my friends and I can meet for lunch at a restaurant again. I'm hoping that wonderful day will not be far away.