And wallowing in my misery, no apologizes! This is my blog and if I want to wallow I will! And if you have a problem with it, stop reading right here!
In just a couple days I've another birthday, my first on the wrong side of 70.
A year ago I loved my face and was proud if it! My skin still firm, I look decades younger. However now whenever I gaze in the mirror all I see is that ugly wound staring back at me like a rattlesnake!
Friends tell me not to worry because it's going to heal. Well of course it's going to heal! -- That's NOT the issue! I'm going to be stuck with one hell of a scar in a prominent spot!
Yes, there's the option of a skin graft which really isn't an option at all. I have more pressing expenses.
I'm waiting to see how it looks when it heals. If there is any way I can live with this scar I will. I need my money more than the plastic surgeon does!
Constantly I'm seeing photos of celebrities my age with comments underneath praising how good they look for their advanced years. But I can't help but wonder how many face lifts or Botox they've endured.
I've always been too poor for any of that stuff, yet I thought I looked every bit as attractive and youthful as they did -- sometimes even better! Plus I did it through clean living and good choices NOT thru plastic surgeons.
I've been meticulously careful and I do not deserve this! OK, so I wasn't as mindful of the sun during my childhood and teens, but why did this take 50 years to manifest itself?
A close friend told me that she had a skin cancer removed from a place never exposed to the sun. Why couldn't mine have been there instead, or on a hand or leg, why my face?!
A year or so before the pandemic, I was in a store and the cashier exclaimed: "You are so pretty! You must have been beautiful when you were young!" I grimaced back at her. -- No one wants to be reminded they're less than what they were. But I still looked good!
As to celebrities, there are plenty who just let themselves go and retire from public life preferring to be remembered as they were. I would never want to be remembered as I was while I'm still around!
Thankfully people are still masking up.
Also I must keep my wound moist and bandaged. Bandaging is a hassle! Due to the goofy location (an area that is constantly stretched) Band-Aid strips do not work. I was forced to use large pads that looked as if half my face was blown off with a shotgun blast.
Now that my wound has stopped bleeding and oozing I cut those pads into quarters snipping the tops & sides. I'm able to position them for a better fit.
I know many people think I place too much emphasis on my looks. These days when it comes to appearance the lack of discipline is applauded. If you care about this at all you're almost demonized.
We're bombarded with propaganda about how looks aren't important! Well, I've had a level of jealousy hurled at me that would floor a Dreadnoughtus! So I kind'a think the opposite! As my friend Pat used to say, "When anyone puts you down, stop to consider the source."
I do and wear it as a badge of pride! I've enjoyed my looks! It was a gift and one I've always felt worth preserving!
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