The mall theatre was my home away from home during the double zero decade. My motto back than was: Movie Hop Till You Drop!
However some of my most unforgettable memories weren't up there on the screen. I've blogged about a few of these and here's another.
This one happened around the middle of that decade. I was in my mid 50's and still had long red hair. My favorite seat was the one way up in the nosebleed section directly under the projector. I always arrived early to claim that spot!
However at one matinee I discovered a man who looked to be in his early 60's seated there. I was annoyed and sat 3 seats over which I felt was a comfortable distance away.
As I was waiting for the coming attractions I heard someone clearing their throat rather loudly.
I turned and saw a woman similar in age standing beside the man. And she was staring at me with an expression I would describe as nothing short of threatening. For a few long seconds she remained standing while fixedly gazing upon me in this fashion.
Whoa and OMG, did she think I had designs on her guy? I was just sitting there quietly minding my own business! Had I been convivially chatting him up I could see where she might jump to that conclusion. But there was absolutely no reason for her to resent my presence much less have any level of hostility towards me.
Just the 3 of us were seated on the top row.
However she was far from attractive. This might have explained her insecurity and why she felt easily threatened.
Afterward, I thought of something comedienne Paula Poundstone would say, "Why don't you pee a circle around him lady!"
About 25 minutes into the movie I heard a commotion beside me. I looked over and almost laughed out loud.
Her leg was across his lap, she was almost on top of him! One of her arms was wrapped around his shoulder while a hand caressed his head. All the while she was noisily going to town on his face and neck with her lips.
Does the phrase "Get a room!" Ring a bell. I needed a pair of blinders.
I would not have been a bit surprised if they were teenagers, but these were old geezers!
And I sort of felt sorry for the guy. He appeared as if just tolerating it while attempting to watch the movie.
Oh well, all I could do was turn my head and giggle.
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