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Tuesday, December 25, 2018

A MOMENTARY MUSING


Saturday Dec. 22 I awoke during the wee morning hours unable to get back to sleep. All too soon the holidays would be over; the merriment and that festive feeling in the air would just be a wonderful memory.

I am not especially looking forward to 2019. It promises to be another busy and expensive year filled with even more stress. And as usual, a week to the day after New Year's I have a birthday; another year older and a step closer to death. At my age, I wonder how long my health is going to hold. Should I be stricken with cancer, a heart attack, or stroke, (my father was hit with all three) I'd better plan on dying! I lack the funds to deal with any of those.

Due to anxiety I knew that I'd never get back to sleep. So at 4:00 AM I did what I always do when I can't sleep, I got up and watched TV. The early AM air was particularly cold by Florida standards, but I bundled up until comfortable.

There are plenty of choices in my DVR library. But one was a favorite, The Great American Baking Show Holiday Edition! I plugged in my Christmas tree by TV to get in the proper mood. Oh what a show! It makes me drool; a glorious food fantasy! I imagine tasting every one of those desserts. The only place I have ever seen such a delicious selection of pastries was a shop in Austria back in 1978 and sadly I was only there once. With all the commercials zapped out the show was roughly ninety minutes long.

Toward the end, I started to feel sleepy. After a winner was crowned I turned off the TV and leaned back, my head against my recliner. Almost instantly I fell asleep.

In the hazy glow of my Christmas tree I awoke shortly after 6:00 AM. Outside the pitch darkness lingered. The tree became brighter with more detail emerging as my eyes cleared.

I felt an exalted sense of happiness. I wouldn't mind if I died at that moment should this be my last memory. If there is a heaven on earth that fleeting minute was it.

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