FLIRTING WITH A FOSSIL

LinkedIn, as we all know is a popular business site. But I could almost swear it’s a dating site! There’s a whole lot of flirting going on and it sometimes turns up in my Inbox.

First was the guy with the Italian name who wanted me to meet him south of town, “If you dare!” he added. He sounded just like bother to me. No thank you!

Recently, a fellow wanted to steal away in my suitcase on my trip to Thailand. Hahahaha! I travel Economy Class! At least it wasn’t the cargo hold, but just barely.

Oh and I can’t forget the guy who hurled a personal criticism my way early in our communication. He was fool enough to think I’d actually want more to do with him after that!

The most recent began with a complement about the smile in my photo. “It’s so beautiful”, he gushed, and “I bet you hear that all the time.” I told the guy it should be awesome for what it CO$T me and thanks for noticing. He kept emailing throughout the day with a lot more B.S. flattery to get into my panties.

And I emailed back. The attention is fun at first, but becomes tiring after awhile. It was getting late in the day.

“Tell me more about you,” he persisted.

I realized it was time to hit him with the double A-bomb. “I’m a 65 year old asexual,” I replied.  Then I shut down my computer for the day. Now it was dinner and TV time.

The following morning his final email awaited me. “Wow! You sure don’t look 65!” it read. He stated that he was 64. Then he went on to say his life would probably be easier if he wasn’t caught up in the sexual thing.

I emailed back that yes, I do look far younger than my age. I’ve led a clean life. It all boils down to self-respect which is sadly absent these days. Plus I’m a freak in more ways than one, but glad of it!

This time, there was no reply. Literally overnight I’d gone from being a fascinating colorful spirit in a world of gray (his words) to a non-entity! -- I believe it was my AGE rather than my lack of sexuality that did it!

Past experience has taught me that most men really don’t care about the latter. They seem to think they’re so irresistible and so much man they can change me. – They’re not and they can’t!

On my LinkedIn page, I have added that I’m a member of AVEN, Asexual Visibility & Education Network so these guys will get a clue and leave me alone.

Some people actually think that as an asexual I should do everything possible to dress down and make myself look unattractive. Sorry, (not really) I take pride in my appearance and I’m not about to sabotage myself just because you’re a hormone slave or just plain insecure!

Once, I was hit upon from LinkedIn by a man in his mid 40’s. Not mentioning my asexuality, I revealed my age, I could actually picturing him squirming as I read his shocked response. I was rather amused, it was cute. And I was willing to cut him some slack due to our age difference. However I was miffed after discovering he had terminated our connection afterward!

As for the 64 year old, I felt more insulted since this man was so close to my own age. Suppose I really was as young as he seemed to think, just imagine if he asked me out and I replied, “No thank you, Grandpa! You’re liable to fracture a hip opening a door for me.”

Just a few days before, to my shock and amusement, a bagboy at the supermarket actually flirted with this old fossil. (I’m a sharp dresser & look affluent despite the fact I’m not.) Perhaps he was looking for a Sugar Mama. Naturally to someone my age this kid seemed like a fetus. And I have no qualms about aborting fetuses. And I guarantee there will be NO Fetus & the Fossil blog in the future.

The thing I find most smarmy about men is that I-don’t-want-to-know-you-unless-there’s-something-in-it-for-me attitude. They are not into friend making with the opposite sex. And I have my good points besides the ones poking against my blouse.

I’ve had boyfriends. But I was never happy in any of those relationships. From my experience, romance is based on conquest, exploitation, and deceit; the antithesis of love. And nowadays women are expected to prostitute themselves just for a meal! To my mind, even if you are married to a man this does NOT mean he is entitled to your body. You are your own property!

This is why I treasure my female friends and prefer their company to that of men. I am accepted as just me. I’ve never been forced to explain or defend my asexuality. Plus we give gifts and do favors for each other all the time. But it’s out of the goodness of our hearts! No score keeping, nor any of that I-did-this-for-you, now- you-owe-me attitude. And among each other we are all ageless! These are ladies of quality and the only people I find worth caring about.