HOLLYWOOD'S LOSS

My friend Margaret (now a light blonde) took to wearing a long, matching synthetic ponytail. I referred to it as, "My Old Hair." Since my tresses used to be long and blonde. By now, I was a redhead.

One day while we were out and she was sans ponytail, we ran into an acquaintance. "You cut your hair!" she exclaimed to Margaret.

"No I didn't. Here it is!" Margaret replied, pulling the ponytail from her over-sized handbag. We all laughed uproariously.

Afterward Margaret and I purchased some glittery, exotic-looking hair buffs from the Dollar Store. When we tried them on at home, we were disappointed to find they were too small.

"I think they're for little kids," Margaret said.

"They're kind of flashy for children," I replied. "But I suppose there's lots of little hooker kids in the country where they were made."

Not wanting to waste a dollar, I showed Margaret a way we could wear them as scarves under a collar. "Wouldn't it be wonderful to wear glitter, spangles, sparkles, fringe, and tassels all the time," I thought aloud.

Margaret smiled exultantly.

"Do you ever wonder what your life would have been, had you signed with that Hollywood agent back when you were a professional dancer?" I asked. "You passed up an amazing opportunity. Most would have murdered for it!"

"Of course I wonder," she replied. "How could I not. But I made the right decision. My life was wonderful beyond measure when I was married to Jim."

"Whose Jim?" I was curious to know. I already knew way too much about Fred. Also she'd mentioned a controlling German man to whom she was briefly married. This guy was somebody new!

"Jim would have been my husband for life had he not died suddenly from a heart attack," she replied. "We enjoyed a wonderful lifestyle together. He was a builder and we had a huge home. Our kids had lots of pets. We even had a monkey once!"

"Oh I always wanted a monkey as a child!" I enthused.

"That critter was nothing but problems! A monkey can get into all manner of mischief," she explained. "It would unlock doors, open drawers, and climb our chandelier. And it would get into the pantry and open jars of peanut butter and bottles of maple syrup."

"My mother would have shot it," I said.

"A few years after Jim died, I married Fred." Margaret continued. "Fred the doctor. He owned property in Key West and we'd fly down in the winter. We became friendly with another couple, there. The wife Louise, used to lament that in her youth, she was positive she would end up in Hollywood. Often she showed us old photos of herself. She was quite breathtaking once! It was sad."

"That's a common fantasy," I said. "Back in my 20's when I had my long, bleached hair and had mastered the art of make-up, I thought the same. I was sure any day Hollywood was going to discover me. I could leave that miserable flower shop forever. And my real life would begin!!!"

"Yes, you and millions of others shared an illusion," Margaret replied. "Hollywood is not a very nice place from what I've heard."

"Still, it would have been better than what I had," I retorted. "And it was nice to dream."

I would never want to return to my youth, it was too grim.

After our florist shop was sold, my life slid slowly and further downward. A decades long dark and depressing period began. I may as well have been shackled in a locked cage inside a cave. That's how it felt.

When I found myself alone at age 50, suddenly I discovered the cage unlocked. The shackles fell away! I stepped out from the cave and into an alien world. It seemed as mysterious and scary as an enchanted forest. My real life, at long last was unfolding.