SERENDIPITY

 

Recently I discovered that I'm eligible for Irish citizenship along with a passport that allows me to live and work anywhere in the EU thanks to an Irish grandmother born in County Tipperary.

She was the grandmother I never knew. She died when my father was 7 years old. Afterward Dad and my grand pop went to live with my father's German born grandmother. So I am what was described in the Godfather movie as a Kraut-Mick combo with a little Limey (English) thrown in for good measure.

My first trip abroad was to Ireland in 1976. Among other places there I visited County Tipperary. I wondered if my grandmother's ghost was looking on. I've also been to Germany & England; perhaps even more ghosts were looking on.

In 2007 when I was in group therapy the lady next to me was from Ireland and traveled back and forth to visit family. I told her of my trip there in 1976.

"You'd never recognize it today!" she exclaimed. "It's been greatly modernized."

I almost said, "I certainly hope so!" Back when I was there in 76 they were still delivering milk by donkey cart even in Dublin.

Since Irish citizenship along with a passport would allow me to live anywhere in the EU I was thinking Portugal should I consider expatriating again. Perhaps it would grant me the affordable healthcare available in Europe that I will never have here.

I've been to Portugal, and the two things I remember most are that it was quite modern even then, plus it had the most delicious seafood dishes I've ever tasted.

Currently Portugal is popular with retirees from around the world. But I've read it's beginning to struggle under the volume of these. That's the problem with these places where seniors can live comfortably on a fixed income. They become popular suffocating the goose that lays the golden egg.

Ten years ago Ecuador, Thailand, & Mexico were on the list as the best places for retirees to move. Now none of them are!

I made exploratory trips to both Ecuador & Thailand six months apart last decade. Both proved too third world for me. And during the 1970's I made frequent trips to Mexico with family. Today Mexico is far too violent to even consider.

Perhaps getting an Irish passport is something I should check into further. Of course I'd prefer to remain here. Unfortunately if I'm forced to do any serious hospital time I may end up living in my car after being released!

THE TURDUCKEN CAKE

 

For those not in the know a turducken is a chicken served inside a duck within a turkey. This is a popular dinner choice around holidays. I've never actually had one since I lean toward vegetarianism. For Thanksgiving I had a plant based turkey loaf stuffed with kale & cranberries. It was actually quite delicious plus I had enough left over for two extra meals.

As a child I raised ducklings to adulthood. I can tell you for fact they all have individual personalities just like people. I have never eaten a duck in my entire life and I never will!

The cake to which I am referring is three desserts in one. The bottom layer is a fudge pie, the middle a blue sponge cake, & the top cheese cake. The entire concoction is frosted with buttercream. I purchased this at Walmart same as the veggie turkey loaf.

Smacking my lips together with anticipation I sliced a normal size cake piece for myself.

To my surprise I liked the fudge pie layer best. I'm a cake lover and have never cared much for pie. The cake & frosting were too sweet and I'm someone who loves sweet too. I used to state that it was an utter impossibility for a dessert to be too sweet for me.

It appears someone took that as a challenge!

This cake was so gaggy sweet I had a difficult time finishing it. The buttercream frosting tasted more like whipped cane sugar.

I found the only way I could ever eat another piece was to slice it razor thin. This cake will probably still be in my garage freezer for years to come.

A HILL TOO MANY

 

Ah Valentine's month! Romantic scammers were all over Facebook in January! When it comes to technology, even unsavvy seniors like me know the internet is rife with them.

All are full of fawning, flattering blather such as: "I was scrolling when suddenly I found myself fascinated by your page and posts, then I noticed your photo and was captivated by your beauty and that gorgeous smile. Instantly I felt I had to know this amazing woman. Several times I've tried sending you a friendship request but was unable. Please send me one so we can chat."

The majority claim to be in the military which makes it more convenient for them to lie.

Others claim that sending me a request without my permission would be rude, so that's why I must send them one instead. I have a strong feeling they are incarcerated and that's the actual reason. Scamming women online is how they probably get money for cigarettes, smuggled dope, etc.

However any woman with a functioning brain will catch on and block these scamming low-life leeches immediately!

One in particular I have blocked numerous times is Eric Hill. -- This may not even be his real name; it may be one he's stolen along with the profile pic. I've lost count of the number of times I've blocked him, yet he always comes back like a bad case of acne.

Besides Eric Hill, he's shown up as Eric T. Hill, Eric Todd Hill, & General Eric Hill -- If he actually IS a general than I'm Brad Pitt in drag! In his next Facebook incarnation he might be Field Marshall Eric Hill of the British Army.

Just recently he was back as Eric Hills.

I've filed a complaint about him with Facebook, but obviously nothing was ever done. Perhaps nothing can be done. These guys always seem to be one step ahead!

Not to mention I'm being contacted and frequently by others I've blocked numerous times as well! All of these lying, low-life, scamming scum do not give up. And I will continue to BLOCK! BLOCK!! BLOCK and BLOCK!!!

FAKE TEETH, BUT GENUINE SMILES

 

Often I receive complements on my beautiful smile. -- Well it should be nothing less than gorgeous for what it cost! I have 3 bridges, 2 implants, 7 crowns and counting.

At age 47 my teeth were straightened the old Hollywood way with crowns. All of them cracked within 5 years and needed to be replaced. The dentist who first placed them assured me they would last for 20 years and now he was gone! All were crazy expensive, not to mention an ordeal to replace.

My last birthday fell on a Monday. Friday morning I kicked off my birthday weekend declaring my healthy diet be damned. I began with walnut pancakes with lots of syrup. However one of those walnuts turned out to be a frontal crown. It's a miracle I didn't swallow it!

The open space in my teeth stuck out like a firecracker. I looked like Granny Yokum from Dogpatch! I called my dentist only to learn the office remained closed for the holidays and wouldn't be open until Tuesday. I phoned the emergency number and was informed this was not considered an emergency. I was told to buy Fixodent.

OK I thought I'll just make a quick trip to Walgreens and back keeping my mouth closed. But horror of horrors my car battery expired there stranding me! I don't own a cellphone.

The store manager assured me everything was going to be OK and to stop crying. A young clerk gave my car a jump. I drove directly to Eagle Automotive looking as I did. I was embarrassed as hell!

The owner there is wonderful. He not only replaced my battery but found a leak in my coolant and repaired it.

As to the Fixodent, now that I had it I was reluctant to use it. This was only a temporary fix and I couldn't risk swallowing that crown or having it go down the sink while brushing my teeth, or falling on the floor and get stepped on.

I already had another tooth; a back lower molar missing awaiting my bone graft to heal for another implant.

And this tiny piece of porcelain not even half the size of a carpenter ant's butt would cost me thousands to replace! I could buy an entire set of dishes for way less. And if it would save me money I'd rip out my porcelain bathroom sink and give it to the dentist! That would cost me much less to replace!

Fast forward to Tuesday, as I'm sitting in the dentist chair he drops my crown on the floor! Both he and the dental assistant scramble to locate it. I'm hollering "Don't step on it!" -- Had it fallen on my floor at home I'd never have found it due to posterior vitreous detachment in both my eyes.

Thankfully they found it. I left my dentist office only $200 poorer.

That was the suckiest birthday ever in my life!

Now I'm in the process of getting an implant for that lower back molar. So it's a return to long months of eating soft food and chewing on one side. The screw placed under the gum must heal before the process can be completed even though my bone graft was successful.

Afterward when I picked up my prescriptions at the pharmacy they asked to see my driver's license which they never did before. I inquired as to what they were giving me! One was a powerful narcotic which I refused. On other occasions I refused the super-duper strength Tylenol.

I don't do narcotics legal or other. If I was on my death bed in dire pain it would be different but I wasn't going there over brief mild discomfort.

I've had my lips tattooed 4 different times with only a topical which wore off half way thru so I really think I can handle pain!

FORGET THE BUCKET LIST

 

They say the best things in life are free. If that's true, I've either had them already or else don't want them. All of my bucket list activities cost the kind of money I don't have. So they are destined to remain fantasies and my list is endless. I'm sure plenty of others can relate to this!

However when I was younger I did many of the things I always wanted to do along with ones I'd never imagined; such as touring Russia, Ukraine, & the Crimean, conquering my fear of public speaking, and getting arrested. The last one I'm not proud of. 

I recently turned 73, I've lived one year longer than my mother. On both sides of my family we tend to die between the ages of 80 - 85. My father at age 80 was young looking, handsome, and active; but that changed almost overnight.

Despite his healthy lifestyle he was stricken with a heart attack that required a triple bypass, followed by a stroke and finally terminal cancer. He died at 85 the same age as his chain smoking father.

The longest survivor by far was my Aunt M who never had to deal with a problem her entire life according to her sons and she lived to be a hundred!

My life seems more full of problems than anything else! It's a sobering thought to realize that I may indeed be dead in about ten years! At my current age I would love to be traveling the world again instead of paying doctors and dentists! My time and health is quickly running out.

Recently I visited a friend whom I hadn't seen in months although we've spoken many times on the phone. She is seven years my senior. I was shocked by how old and feeble she had become. It seemed to have occurred suddenly as if an evil fairy struck her with the decrepit stick!

This left me unnerved and frightened. My turn is just around the corner! She has healthcare and I do not. I may not even make it to her age!

Years back I thought expatriating to a developing country was the answer. I had it narrowed down to Ecuador or Thailand. This was during the previous decade when it was easier to save up for exploratory trips.

Both of these countries proved TOO Third World for me! Affordable healthcare was there but the quality of life was far lacking.

And during the years since both countries have experienced changes that would have forced me to move! Plus neither handled the pandemic well. I'd probably be dead now had I expatriated.

Also I considered Mexico. Sadly it has become way too violent! Nothing as it used to be during the 1970's when I vacationed there.

If I'm ever stricken with terminal cancer as my parents, I won't fight it prolonging the agony. Instead I'd take whatever money I have left buy a first class ticket and start traveling to as many distant places as possible and die in a faraway land. I want to be cremated and scattered wherever I happen to end up.

Of course I might have a heart attack or stroke and end up dying in my recliner. That would be OK too. This is the house where I recaptured my happiness and one I love.

More than once the world I knew was yanked out from under me. Each day now I feel the ground shifting beneath my feet. Guess I do have a bucket list after all! This one involves hanging onto what is mine for as long as I can. Everything is temporary, even life itself.

CHRISTMAS & NEW YEAR'S CULINARY TRADITIONS

 

When my dad was a boy; on Sunday morning his father would buy a large pecan ring. This treat was their entire Sunday breakfast. Later on it became our tradition for breakfast every Christmas morning. My dad always complained that the bakeries were getting stingier with pecans every year. Now as a senior citizen I agree! The price of everything has gone up while the quality has gone down.

After my father passed I wanted to start new holiday traditions that were mine alone. On Christmas mornings I made eggnog pancakes dusted with cinnamon & powdered sugar. And on New Year's morning it was ginger ale pancakes dusted with red sprinkles & powdered sugar. Both were so delicious alone no butter or syrup were needed!

But after a decade or so, I wanted a change. Now for both holiday mornings I enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres with fresh fruit.

Fruitcake is another holiday tradition served throughout the season and I love it! YES, I'm the one! But as Dad would say, "There's fruitcake and then there's FRUITCAKE!" The dry pre-packaged kind on the drugstore and supermarket shelves is the one giving it the bad rep. --But even that can be rendered delicious! First, slice a piece and place it in a shallow bowl, add nuts/dried fruit and drizzle with honey, nuke it for 30 seconds. If that's not good enough add whipped topping or ice cream! I guarantee no dessert lover will turn up their nose at this!

For dinner on Christmas Eve, it's often an individual mushroom & chive quiche topped with a slice of Havarti or Asiago cheese along with my fresh fruit salad sprinkled with walnuts & drizzled with raspberry dressing also deviled eggs, and ending the meal with chocolate truffles.

My Christmas Dinner is truly a celebration! My favorite is a baked Barber Chicken Breast stuffed with creme brie & apple, (I always add more brie!) garlic mashed potatoes, a colorful salad, plus petite fours for dessert.

For New Year's Eve it's a small ring of cocktail shrimp, deviled eggs, Brie & crackers, plus chocolate truffles & petit fours.

On New Year's Day it's always been crab cakes with lemon butter, jasmine rice, black-eyed peas, & a colorful salad. And for dessert I enjoy a tangerine cakelette topped lightly with sugar free orange marmalade & orange sprinkles just enough to make it sparkle under my chandelier lights. And if the bakery is offering all of these this year, I'll do a repeat!

BEWARE THE ICE

 

My family moved down from Michigan when I was a year old. Tired of the snow and ice they came for the warmth.

A snow fall in Florida is rare as a blue moon and far briefer. The one time in memory it occurred I slept thru it. And when I awoke there was no trace whatsoever!

Our state has no ice except for the occasional hail and what's inside the freezer. Excuse me my age is showing when I say that growing up our fridge was always referred to as the icebox.

The refrigerators of my childhood all had ice crystals hanging from the top of the freezer. I used to take a glass and scoop it off. Then I'd pour fruit juice over the top and have tasty snow cone to enjoy.

However getting cubed ice wasn't easy. Back then, they came in trays with a handle that took near Herculean strength to pull. Thankfully refrigerators these days have easy access not only to cubes but crushed ice.

However ice has taken on an insidious and even sinister role in my life.

This began in the 1980's. All of a sudden my mother began chowing down on it and declaring how much she enjoyed it. Mom had two pie plates that she alternately kept in the freezer. As soon as ice sheets formed she would remove and consume. I always thought this strange plus it occurred so suddenly out of the blue.

Not long after she was diagnosed with colon cancer that had spread into the liver. She was given six months to live; however she managed to live an entire year on chemotherapy.

Nearly twenty years later I was on the phone with my aunt Kiki. She happened to mention how delicious she had discovered ice to be and couldn't get enough of it. Immediately a chill ran thru me!

The next time we spoke she informed me of her cancer diagnosis. This was cancer of the esophagus. Soon after, she died.

In recent years dentists have warned me never to chew on ice due to all my expensive dental work. Well I'm not seven years old anymore and I lack the desire. 

But If I ever do start craving ice you'd better believe I will panic! And I'm going to start collecting all my important papers and update my will. Pronto!