A friend told me she often made popcorn while watching
flicks at home just as I do, then quickly added, "Did I just use that
antiquated word FLICKS!"
I told her she probably picked it up from me. I use the word
"FLICKS" all the time. To me, a light entertaining movie is a flick;
where as a powerful one, the stuff of Academy Awards, or any foreign one is a
film. This is MY thinking, anyway.
I LOVE antiquated words and phrases as well as many new
fangled ones, anything imaginative, colorful, that's just plain fun to roll off
the tongue. Many Victorian euphemisms in particular hit the mark, often without
excessive vituperation, plus their insults were clever and hilarious! We need
this again, desperately!
Below are only a few examples:
Bag o' Mystery:
Sausage
Bitch the Pot: Tea is
served!
Fustilug: A touchy,
crabby person
Gongoozler: Someone
who dawdles or idles
Totty One-Lung: A
sickly person with an inflated sense of self-importance.
Zounderkite: A goof
who makes awkward, avoidable mistakes.
Gas Pipes: Tight
trousers
Dirty Puzzle: A
lustful, loose woman
Tot-Hunting: Prowling
for sluts & sex.
Heymarket Hector: A
pimp
EYEBALLS SKYROCKET!!! Those cheeky Victorians even had names
for male & female body parts:
The Staff of Life & Master John Goodfellow were a
reference to the penis. Tallywags were testicles as were whirlygigs &
twiddle-diddles. Crinkum-Crankum, The Phoenix Nest, & Mount Pleasant
referred to the vagina. Cupid's Kettle Drums are now called tits, knockers,
boobs, tah tah's; take your pick.
Now I've been inspired me to come up with some NEW WORDS OF
MY OWN! See below:
Gnatbeezer: An
annoying pesky, petty, over-critical person...Purchase a bottle of strong
Dollar Store perfume, one that smells like insecticide & spray into their
face -- accidentally of course!
Dudhumper: Usually a
barfly, someone who indiscriminately becomes intimate with strangers. --
Calling all Neanderthals & troglodytes; have at it, yeeehaw!!!
Toodledoom: Someone romantically
involved with a highly toxic person. Love is not only blind; it's deaf, dumb,
& retarded. These cases are hopeless!
Grabbersnoodle: Someone
who forces a hug. -- For this, I plan to create a long pair of gloves with
sharp metal spikes and then appear on Shark Tank. Kevin O'Leary would immediately
go for these! And I'd give him a big tight squeeze of thanks!
Hahahooti: A funny
joke, just like the one I posted in an earlier blog about the Frenchman &
the old lady. Scroll way back to The Continent of Pangaea to read this joke.
Spider Pus:
Exfoliating creams that sting!
Neon Hat: Someone who
shamelessly seeks attention & will resort to anything to get it. Think
reality show celebrities!
Ratflinger: A vile
person who hits under the belt to undermine an opponent. One is occupying the
White House at the moment. I wish to see him bungee jump off the Washington
Monument with a frayed cord!
High-flying-jig: How
you feel when karma zaps a deserving person. However sometimes karma needs a
helping hand!
Platepooper: Someone who
thinks they're a skilled chef, but in fact is quite the opposite! -- Start gasping & wheezing! Suddenly
exclaim, "Gadzooks! I must be allergic!" Make a quick exit.
Roach Soup: An
invitation you'd rather decline. See Above!
Now I expect YOU to start using all of these as part of your
vocabulary and work them into your conversations! -- MINE FIRST!!!
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