Well summer has officially arrived! And I can feel the flesh
melting off my bones just walking across the grocery store parking lot.
Actually it's my sunscreen that's melting. I am a walking fountain of sweat! It's
streaming from every pore of my body, except under my arms, thanks to anti-perspirants.
My father used to say that anti-perspirants surely must be
unsafe because they block a natural body function. Well, I don't believe they
block, just redirect.
I recall the miserable years before this product was
invented, back when most of us Floridians didn't have air-conditioning in our
homes. OMG! How wretched life must have been during centuries past! The human
body is a gamey thing. Just the thought
of those fumes and the humidity almost has me hallucinating.
This brings to mind my two favorite TV shows: Vikings and
The Walking Dead. The Vikings and the zombies have two things in common. ONE:
Both look as if they stink to high heaven! It's beyond me how they could sneak
up on anyone! TWO: Both are bloodthirsty and would kill'ya soon as look at you!
Over the past season both programs have undergone significant
changes. Unless you are a fan, you will not understand anything beyond this
point. Which begs the question, why don't you watch these shows??? If not,
START WATCHING!!! That's an order; both are entertaining and worth your time.
Below is a brief update of each:
In Vikings, the main character (I can't say hero) Raghair became
serpent chow, an end he richly deserved! Now in Valhalla he and his scheming
second wife are reunited. She is the statuesque Asslug. However, it's a safe
bet the crawling psycho who sprung from their loins will murder Raghair's beautiful,
but smelly-looking first wife before long.
Wife # 1 is about the only half-way likable character in
this show with the exception of that English Monk who suffered from Stockholm
syndrome. What was his name again?...Oh yes, Applestand! Poor guy got it
together only to be slaughtered by Flunky, the scrawny guy in the hideous eye
make-up that wears him. Or is his name Flakey? Either one applies! Anyway I'm
looking forward to next season!
As to the Walking Dead, PEW! It should be renamed The
Walking Reeking Dead! As with Vikings, I can almost smell them right thru my TV
screen! But even the breathers appear stinky on that show! ICK! Isn't there any
soap or shampoo on the shelves of all those deserted stores?
All last summer we were left in suspense wondering who was
going to boogie with that spiky Lucille. Yes, she's more than a bit wooden, but
Lucille really knows how to swing and hit her marks.
Later, we learned she chose the ginger guy and the Korean
kid. Frankly, I was sick of both these characters and glad to see them gone.
Personally, I thought they added nothing but annoyance. At least Andrea was
nice to look at! Sadly, she's been long gone.
However, from a strategic point, Lucille and Sheriff Rick
should have gotten together for a big date! You always whack the leader first! That's
just basic 101 knowledge! Not to mention, the show would have been taken in a
more intriguing direction. But I'm guessing that Andrew Lincoln's contract
wasn't up yet. Probably, it was too costly to off him just yet.
The most malodorous scene in memory was when Sheriff Rick
and a handful of his survivors discover that putrid-looking clan of garbage
people. EEEEWWW! Just the appearance of them had me gasping and pinching my
nostrils. I was overcome with a strong urge to pause my DVR, grab a can Lysol
and douse my living room!
Well, I have to give much credit to the make-up and costume
folks behind these shows. They certainly are talented and do a convincing job!
As for me, at least there's no bat infestation in my house,
now! That was a summer ordeal I will never forget!( Also a previous blog) Thankfully,
the bats with their overpowering stench never returned!
But scattered summer storms are back. At this moment the
sky is sunny and bright, but it's a tease. One way or another, it seems I'm all
wet this time of year!
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