Forget Black Friday!!! The day following Thanksgiving is
when I erect my Christmas tree, it's a tradition of mine.
First, I must remove anything in the surrounding area that's
breakable. (I've learned this the hard way!) But that does not include my nearly
66 year old body. The job is a strenuous , physically demanding one. My big
artificial tree comes in 3 parts. The first 2 are wide and heavy, the last
involves stretching precariously while balancing on a ladder. My tree is set on
a table. I have a 30 ft cathedral ceiling and I need the height. Besides, I've
never liked small Christmas trees, they look dinky to me.
Putting up a big tree by yourself is similar to fighting
zombies. In addition to being vigilant and cautious, you must dress as
streamline as possible! Zombies have
bony, grabby fingers and trees (both artificial & real) have branches that
catch on fabrics. Both can result in disaster! Often, I wear shorts and a
T-shirt, sometimes with a sweater, but no materials that snag.
Last Christmas I decided against a tree. I was going to
visit Thailand in early January and didn't want to risk injury. I missed having
one, but the trip was just too important.
My snowbird friend Marie worries about me because I only
have landlines, (Cell phones don't work inside my house, anyway!) should I ever
fall ill, or just fall, period, my closest downstairs phone is high on the
wall.
I told her I would crawl to my front door and open it.
"But what if you can't!" she said. "What if
you suffer a heart attack?"
I insisted I could! To demonstrate, I got down on the floor
clutching my chest while moaning "My heart, my heart" as I crawled
toward the door.
"It might not be your heart," Marie declared,
"You might break a hip, instead!"
Immediately, I shifted my hand down to my thigh. "My
hip, my hip" I groaned as I crawled along. Finally, I reached the door,
unlocked it, and stuck my head out. In my most pitiful & pathetic voice I
whimpered, "help, help,". We
both laughed!
However, should I fall and hit my head on my stone
fireplace, I'd probably be unconscious and a phone would be of no use anyway. And
if I fell in the other direction I'd land atop my big TV and that must be
protected at all cost! So, while balancing on the ladder, I kept telling myself,
if you feel yourself falling, aim for the window in the back!
I always begin this job in mid-morning. This time around it
was a chilly Florida day. However, in no time I was breaking into a sweat! I
stripped down to my bra and shorts, early. Thanks to my new healthier diet, I'm
back to my fighting weight! The Christmas tree was up, decorated and lit by
3:00 PM!
As I gazed upon its sparkle and beauty, suddenly all of my
effort had become worth it. A Christmas tree gives a room an exhilarating
feeling of magic!
So release the zombies! This old lady can take them on, at
least for another year!
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