CROCS, JELLYPOPS, & FLIP-FLOPS

AND HEELS, HEELS, HEELS, GALORE!!!

Shoes, shoes, & more shoes!!!  Woo hoo!!!  I have never been a sensible shoe kind of woman, but that must change and I am doing it kicking & screaming. Now that I’ve got some age on me and serious foot issues, my tall heels are going the way of the Giant Galliwasp & the Moa-Nalo bird.

Just a year ago, I was balancing (sometimes falling) on 5 inch stiletto heels. A wide heel is better for maneuvering. But with any heel, especially those higher than 3 inches, bones may still break if you tumble. I’ve been fortunate so far. But 5 inches are just TOO high and TOO painful, also downright dangerous!

I’d love to garrote the jerk responsible these! But he’s already dead! -- That would be King Louis XIV of France during the 1600’s.The man only stood 5’3! These were the first elevator shoes.

The towering heels caught on with his mistress, the notorious Madame de Pompadour. Louis’ paramour was quite the fashionista. Soon they became a trend among ladies of noble birth. However with the execution of well-heeled Marie Antoinette, they quickly fell out of fashion. Heels became a symbol of opulence and excess. No heel was allowed higher than 2 inches, what we call “kitten heels” today.

Tall heels were banned altogether in colonial Massachusetts! Women attired in these were considered promiscuous or even sorceresses! And you can’t blame the colonists for thinking this way, high heels are quite bewitching and intriguing, not to mention alluring.

Late in the 1800’s heels came back into fashion and have been popular in many different styles & lengths ever since; despite the fact you can’t beat a flat heel for comfort.

My favorite walking shoe has always been the one inch high Hush Puppy pump. They are perfect for a leisurely afternoon at the mall or even an entire day out. But Vero Beach has smooth pavements. These did not cut it in Ecuador where the streets are cobblestone and the sidewalks iffy. My feet suffered.

To my embarrassment, I was forced to wear rubber flip-flops on the plane ride home. This type of footwear is fine when touring or relaxing. But yikes, what kind of tacky low-life would actually wear them on an airplane! I could just picture myself shuffling my feet, trying to hide them, hoping no one would notice.

Ick! Ick! Ick! Hot cat pee and OMG!!! I couldn’t believe what I saw at the airport. Nearly half the people were sporting flip-flops! I was DISGUSTED!!! Had these slobs no pride in their appearance?!? Bring on the apocalypse! The human race deserves to end! 

Fast forward a few months. For my trip to Thailand I sought out flat or sloped heels with ridged soles. The popular athletic shoes in stores had me singing the ugly-shoes-blues. Did I say ugly, they are hideous!!! I would never defile my feet with those.

Then I discovered Croc pumps! These had plenty of toe room and were actually pretty. They looked nothing like the Crocs I’d seen advertised! And they were the most comfortable shoes I’d ever worn!

Oh, but then I found Jellypops! My feet felt as if they were being embraced by loving cherubs.

My feet were ready for Thailand, plus all 7 flights, -- or so I thought! My pretty navy Crocs started to pinch on the plane. During the long 2 flights to Bangkok my feet had swollen. The following day, my Jellypops were so tight they were cutting into my flesh on the city tour. Even the fancy wedged sandals I brought pinched & cut my feet as well. The next day I bought a comfortable pair of wide leather thongs at a street market. I wore these the rest of the trip.

On my excursions abroad during the 1970’s, I wore mostly boots with chunky 2 inch heels. Despite all the walking, I experienced no discomfort whatsoever.  

Like many women, (& more than a few times) I’ve been seduced by cheap shoes because they were cute. (Some fell apart the third time I wore them.) I knew better, too! Poorly made shoes are easy to spot. Soles and ornamental items are glued on rather than stitched. -- And I’ve heard that a designer brand doesn’t guarantee you won’t get stuck with shoddy workmanship, either.

At home, shoes are always removed before entering. Bare feet rule inside my house! But outside, I like to dress sharp right down to my feet... But, (sigh) I’m getting accustomed to navigating the world in sensible shoes, now.

Sadly, there comes a point in time when one needs to make concessions due to age and health. But hey, I sure have my memories!