JUST CALL HIM CHEATER

Ah tax time! I'm always happy when it's over. I'm not smart enough to prepare my own taxes, so I'm forced to pay a professional. However, some tax professionals are less professional than others.

After my father's death, I was forced to deal with this for the first time. I went to H&R Block. Back then, they handled my investments, so I thought this was the perfect place. I received my inheritance outright. However, my brother, who is now 73 years old, is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. He has been institutionalized in a mental hospital as well as in & out of the psychiatric ward of federal prison. Our father set up a Trust of which I am the Trustee.

H&R Block insisted that I was NOT responsible for the Trust. I insisted that YES I was, since I'm the Trustee! My brother was the one responsible, they claimed. I explained that my brother was mentally disabled and irresponsible! Our father made me Trustee for valid reasons! H&R Block continued to insist none of that mattered. I was advised to just ignore it! We argued back and forth.

I called the attorney who set up the Trust. He phoned H&R Block and explained a few things for their edification! Block sent the paperwork to be prepared in another city. My attorney told me never to use them again because my taxes were too complicated. He advised me to get a C.P.A..

There happened to be one down the street from my subdivision. I brought my info to his office in early February of the following year. When I returned later to bring more papers, the C.P.A. was standing there in shorts and flip-flops. He introduced himself.

The deadline was fast approaching, my taxes had yet to be prepared. Soon we were into the 2nd week of April. I was angry and complaining! The C.PA. called and said he would file for an extension, if needed.

I didn't understand why that was necessary since they had all the info months ago! I put a fire under him and my taxes were completed on time!

About 2 weeks later, I received a call around 9:00 P.M.. To my surprise, it was the C.P.A.. "I had to tell you, I think you are very beautiful," he said. He went on to say how proud he was of himself for earning over a million dollars. (The guy sounded a bit tipsy.) Then he went on and on about his life. Eventually, he asked me for a date.

"I'll have to ponder that a bit," I told him.

"One more thing," he added, "I think you should know I'm married."

"What!" I expostulated. "You shouldn't even be calling me!" -- I don't date married men! Who did he think I was, my stepmother!

"Well, technically I'm separated," he continued, "my wife is Catholic. She doesn't want me anymore. But, she doesn't want anyone else to have me, either."

"Do you still live in the same house?" I was curious.

"Yes, in fact you've seen her. She's the blonde who works in my office," he replied.

Oh, I remembered HER well! -- Glancing over my completed taxes, I asked her a question.

Blondie gave a loud sigh of exasperation. She answered me in a condescending my-god-you-are-so-stupid tone of voice. It was then, I decided never to return! -- AND THIS WAS BEFORE HER HUSBAND STARTED HITTING ON ME!

A few months later, I received a disturbing letter from the I.R.S. stating money was owed on the Trust! -- I wanted nothing more to do with that C.P.A. or his office. But I had no choice.

He swore it was a mistake and he'd take care of it. -- But then I received another scary letter from the I.R.S.! This time, he claimed the correction had not been registered. I continued to receive letters! "Their right hand doesn't know what the left is doing," the C.P.A. stated. He advised me to ignore them, insisting the Trust owed nothing, despite all the letters I was receiving.

The following year I found a happily married C.P.A.. This man was sharper and more professional, too. Actually, the Trust DID owe the I.R.S. money! Plus I now had to pay a penalty on top of that!!!