My friend Dr. Margaret had a religious bent. Which is a good thing, if not taken to extreme. Being a generation younger, I was more of a daring dresser. Frequently, she would scold me for my low-cut tops. -- Now they were no worse than what you see on network TV during prime time! Plus displaying cleavage happened to be the style early in the naughty-aughty decade.
Margaret was hardly a modest dresser herself! We both had a taste for flashy frills. Plus her clothes were so tight, they almost appeared sprayed on. Margaret had a great figure and a bosom most strippers would envy. Yet for some strange reason she had this bug-a-boo about cleavage.
Upon one of her visits, I wore a flowery low-cut summer dress. I had purchased it new, on sale. Plus the day was hot and humid, as is typical of Florida weather. Margaret criticised my attire as being indecent.
"I bought it from a CHADWICK catalogue, not a whore store! And it's not as if my nipples are showing!" I vehemently protested.
"If that was the style I bet you'd be doing that too!" Her nostrils flared. "And don't you bulge your boobs at me!"
"Hey, I get tons of complements on the way I dress," I told her defiantly. "People are always asking if I'm an actress!"
"That's because they're probably too embarrassed to ask if you're a prostitute!" She sniffed.
At my advanced age, (I was in my 50's then) I felt I should be free to wear whatever I want! I wasn't backing down. "Most men of my years are all dating younger women anyway. But I still want to look pretty!" I bristled.
To which Margaret replied, "No matter how old, ugly, or fat a woman gets, a man's appendage always fits! -- So you need to be careful." According to Margaret, I was placing myself in danger with my revealing clothes. "You have no idea how strong the male sex drive really is!" she said with a tone of expertise.
She labeled me a "P.T." or "Prick Teaser"! Funny thing too, at the time I was considering purchasing a PT Cruiser, seriously!
"Yes men are so lecherous even our pets, farm animals, fruits, and baked goods aren't safe from their urges," I replied. -- I needed to explain the last two to her. Turning on a man is no great accomplishment. It's tantamount to making a dog wag its tail. Those Puritan women in their ugly clothes all did it, too!
"Haven't you ever noticed that other people don't dress like you?" she continued.
"Look in the mirror, Margaret." I pointed out. "Besides, I'm me! I'm not like everyone else!"
"No you are not!" she snapped. "You are seriously disturbed like everyone else in your family!"
"Well you know darn well I am no slut! I don't even believe in sex outside marriage!" I hollered back. "And even after marriage it should be unnecessary."
"True, you are no nymphomaniac," she agreed.
"Yeah, and I get so disgusted whenever I hear all these women gush about men's buns. I can't even look at a man's behind without thinking about what comes out of it," I said.
Margaret laughed.
Before he died, my father told me he could go to his grave assured his money would never be spent on any gigolos. "Not with my daughter!" he said.
"Remember, I am your friend unconditionally," Margaret stated. " That's why I worry about you courting trouble. You are naive."
"Actually trouble has come a'courting me a few times. You've forgotten," I reminded. "But I kicked it on it's way."
"Still, I pray for you," she said with a sigh.
Margaret and I tarted-up to dine at a restaurant over on the beach. I wore a rather tight, low-cut dress. Of course I received a disapproving stare.
"This is a vintage dress from the 80's," I told her. "Do you know what my mother said to me the 1st time I wore it?"
Margaret rolled her eyes. "I can just imagine!" she gasped.
Mom said, "That dress gives you a figure just like that Margaret character I introduced you to a few years back."
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