At age 17, my father took me on a weekend cruise to the Bahamas. Seconds after we departed ship in Freeport we were besieged by little boys with outstretched palms. All demanding, "Paper money or big coin with eagle."
We brushed past, leaving most behind. But 1 little boy followed us and was persistent. My father reached inside his pocket and pulled out a nickel. "This is big American money," he told the kid.
The boy snorted and chortled. He quickly ran back to join his companions.
My father turned to me. "You and I have a big "S" on our foreheads for SUCKER," he said. "And so does everyone on our ship."
Fast forward decades later. During my 50's I discovered the "S" for SUCKER is also synonymous with SINGLE woman. Dealing with a business or service people was eye-opening to say the least.
Back in Stuart, 1 of our nicer neighbors was a single woman named "Gertrude". My father always laughed at her because she paid through the nose for everything. "They see her coming and adjust their bills accordingly," he used to say.
Once, I asked her, "Do you ever feel some of these workers take advantage?"
She rolled her eyes. "Let me put it this way," she told me, "Whenever they find a woman alone in a house, they see $$$ and a pigeon. You have no idea. You still have your father. But one day you're going to find out!"
Woe, did I ever!
Gertrude, a seasonal resident, was planning to move to Florida full time. She was in the process of renovating her ancient kitchen. A thoughtful person, she purchased a bag of cookies for the workers. After gobbling them down, they were still hungry. So they ferreted through her cabinets until they found some Pepperidge Farm Sausalitos she had been saving for dessert.
"You just can't be nice," she lamented. -- That was an understatement!
After my father passed, I made many expensive mistakes due to ignorance. I imagined my Dad standing there in spirit and labeling me his favorite "S" word STUPID! I used to assume that most in business are ethical. I've found it's closer to 50-50.
Shortly after his death, my garage door broke. I phoned the company with the most impressive ad. Also the one that stressed their honestly. Not only were they expensive, they were unable to repair the attached light. Friends were shocked by what I paid. For HALF that money I could have bought a brand new door with a light included. They informed me.
From that point forward, I would get 3 estimates whenever possible. I was determined to turn that "S" into SAVVY. But I was still too trusting. Even when I went with the lower price, workers cut corners or pulled numbers on me. When you are naive, people take advantage.
I hear this repeatedly from my single friends. Many of whom have been alone for decades. Women whom I consider to be savvy.
"I could tell you horror stories one right after another," Margaret used to say. "When you're part of a couple they're dealing with 2 people. They talk differently to you if you're alone. When there's a man in the picture they're more intimidated."
Actually that depends on the man. I recall when I had my bedroom set delivered from a 2nd hand store. (It's a gorgeous old Spanish style that was probably quite expensive, new.) The pieces are well-made and heavy wood which may have been a factor. Also the guys may have been having a lousy day or have had a negative experience with someone else earlier. Still, that's no excuse. Anyway they were oozing attitude.
I commented to my father that I was sorry I instructed them to place my chest of drawers to the right of the window. It looked wrong, there.
"Just tell them to move it when they come back up," he replied.
I pointed out they didn't come across as the accommodating type. I dreaded to ask. They already seemed resentful.
"Oh it's their job," my father insisted, "go ahead and ask."
I politely did.
"Well then you move it!" the 1st man snapped nearly biting my head off!
I felt my jaw drop. I looked at my father as if to say, "How about some backup here? Are you going to let this guy talk that way to me!" Dad was staring at the floor, eyes darting back and forth as he looked down. He had distanced himself from the situation. I bugged my eyes at the guy in an angry stare. Acimoniously, the man moved the drawers.
I've had my property damaged by workers. Who, along with their bosses tried to shift blame on me. I've had business owners tell me that I didn't have the merit to criticize their workers. I've been screamed and sworn at by people I've hired, also insulted. And several have even derided my housekeeping. I am not the type whose naturally inclined to give anyone a hard time. For this reason, I'm an easy target.
No matter how valid the reasons, if you complain and you are a woman, you're automatically a bitch! Even if you do it in a polite, non-accusatory way, it's called being a sugar-coated bitch. But if you say nothing, they really bulldoze you and take advantage. In other words, you are deliberately placed in a situation where you can't win. -- So you really have nothing to lose by being a relentless bitch.
Also I live on 1 small fixed income. I can't afford that kind of nonsense or any expensive mistakes.
I've had so many downright horrible experiences the big "S" on my forehead was beginning to stand for SCHIZOPHRENIC as in the paranoid variety. I began to loathe hiring anyone to do anything. Seems there were always problems!
Eventually, I found I've had to threaten people with the nasty big "S" word SUE, as in lawsuit!" -- It's quite effective! Also I've threatened to call the media and write letters to the editor. And now I have the Internet, too.
I save the business cards of everyone with whom I've had a terrible experience as a reminder. Also I'm quite vocal! I don't hesitate to warn other people.
These shady types think they're smart and slick when they slip their fingers into your back pocket. They're just slimy as well as stupid! Because in the long run they are going to lose a few fingers.
Whenever you deal with a business, there is only 1 big "S" they should ever want to see on your forehead. It should stand for SATISFACTION.
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