My dear friend Margaret, returned to celebrate my birthday. I appreciated her thoughtful, considerate gesture. This would be my 1st one the wrong side of 50.
As a small child, my birthdays were never acknowledged. This often led to confusion where my age was concerned. I don't remember ever being 5 yrs old. I went directly from age 4 to 6.
Once when asked my age, I give the wrong answer. "6" I said.
"You are 7," my mother corrected, "you had a birthday three months ago." -- Well that was news to me!
Always I was envious of kids who had lavish birthday parties. I wanted one, too. I never really understood why I couldn't have one. Often, I complained to my mother.
"We celebrate your birthday with Christmas," she lied. -- That was more acid eyewash! My birthday was never mentioned during the holidays.
Every year my birthday falls 2 weeks to the day after Christmas and 1 week to the day after New Years. For that reason; family, friends, and relatives have always told me my birthday is easy to forget. To my mind, that should make it easier to remember.
Aunt Kiki even suggested I have my birthday legally changed to the end of January.
Why should I? Just write it down on the calendar, for crying out loud!
I think the very least my parents could have done was buy me a cake. Or my mother could have baked one! -- She baked them all the time! A pretty cake with roses and your name written in frosting is a big, honking deal to a small child.
Of course my parents weren't the type to make a big hoopla out of birthdays anyway. My brother was 11yrs older, and I never recall his birthday being acknowledged either. I wonder what excuse they gave him? -- They celebrated it at Easter!
But I know for fact he received at least 1 lavish party with all the fancy trimmings. -- I saw the evidence in our family photo album! There were hats, balloons, a big cake, and lots of gift-giving guests. Geez, I never once received so much as a verbal "Happy Birthday!"
However, my parents only got away with this for so long. Eventually I became old enough to follow a calendar. This occurred at age 9. I began demanding a cake! I was relentless! They were resentful. They couldn't cut off my head, so they bought me a cake to shut me up. Also I guilted my relatives (up north) into sending me cards, sometimes a check. At last my birthday was acknowledged!
I didn't get my lavish party until age 40. And I had to fight my stepmother Avis fang & claw to get one! She insisted I was too old for a birthday party. It just looked like a cheap ploy for gifts and the whole idea embarrassed her.
I informed her that 40 was the perfect age. I was determined to have a least 1 birthday party in my life. I wanted to always remember it.
She refused to help. Even threatened to leave and spend that day in another city. I told her, "Just go!" -- I would have had a better time without her around! But my father insisted she stay. Because her sister & brother-in-law would be attending and her absence would look awkward.
Everything about that party was stressful. But I enjoyed it anyway. Although I never wanted another. I got it out of my system.
For the big 5 ouch, I wanted to plan something extraordinary. Unfortunately, my father was terminally ill and had little time remaining. So it came and went without fanfare.
During my early 50's it wasn't unusual for me to spend 3 or 4 days celebrating my birthday. Making up for lost time, I told myself. I'd treat myself to expensive lunches, go to movies, have massages & pedicures. Around my mid 50's, I lost a staggering amount of money in investments. I had to limit my birthday fun. However, I still had friends who treated me to gifts and lunches.
For the big 6 oh-my-God, things had changed. Margaret was gone now, as were all of my other friends. They had either died, moved, or gone loopy with dementia and had to be institutionalized.
I wanted to do something unusual, but I didn't know what. I thought about sky-diving. But since I can't afford Health Insurance, that wasn't a good idea. Also I doubt sky-diving is an inexpensive endeavor. For that same amount, I'd rather buy myself snazzy shoes and an outfit with pizazz. That would make me happier than jumping from a plane!
Well, I did none of the above. Mostly, it was DVR Saturday in my nightgown as usual. I just stayed home and prepared myself a holiday style meal with all my favorite food. Also I had a birthday cake! I must admit, it was an enjoyable day.
Also, I finally put away my Christmas cards. The month before, I received a big glittery one from my brother. Inside, under Merry Christmas, he had written, AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOO!
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