Now that school is back in session who can forget those weekly vocabulary words and definitions with sentences we were forced to construct. How they sounded and what they meant were often two different things. My inspiration for today!
Many words fit this category; here are some of my favorites. Below is what they should mean (in my opinion) used in a sentence followed by the actual definition.
FRIGATE -- That uncouth man is blowing his nose with his fingers, what a frigate! -- Actual meaning: A medium sized sailing warship of centuries ago.
REFULGENT -- Jenny's stinky breath smelled downright refulgent after she puked chunks all over Kevin's shoes. -- Actual meaning: shining radiantly, resplendent.
DOODLE -- The doodle in the baby's diaper was a bizarre color due to the magenta & chartreuse crayons he ate. -- Actual meaning: To dawdle or scribble aimlessly.
SAGACIOUS -- Because of Billy Bob's sagacious condition he was unable to perform his manly duties on his wedding night without the help of locust. (see below) -- Actual meaning: Wise, perceptive
LOQUACIOUS --Judy liked to hang out in wheat fields for an inordinate length of time searching for locust if you know what I mean, (wink, wink). -- Actual meaning: extremely talkative.
LOCUST -- Ever since the discovery of locust decrepit old guys have suddenly began feeling like real men again! -- Actual meaning: an insect.
CRIBBAGE -- The cribbage stank worse than rotten vegetables & spoiled meat when the baby's diaper leaked. -- Actual meaning: A card game.
SUCCORY -- Mazie-Jo has such a skill & willingness for succory under the bleachers that her name can be found on every gas station bathroom in town. -- Actual meaning: An American Indian dish consisting of corn & beans cooked together.
CUSTARD -- Little Donnie is an appalling custard because he calls his mom a $#!&%* whore cause she never married his father - whoever he was? -- Actual meaning: a dessert made with eggs & sugar.
PERFUNCTORY -- I was shocked by the perfunctory acts the couple performed with ferrets & squirrels in the XXX rated video! They were beyond obscene! -- Actual meaning: Done without interest or care.
FUGACIOUS --That fugacious pervert is forcing local farmers to bolt their barn doors to prevent him from sexually assaulting their livestock. -- Actual meaning: A tendency to panic.
EXTRAPOLATE -- The dominatrix extrapolated her clients with leather straps before plucking out their nose, chest, & pubic hairs with rusty tweezers before forcing them to eat dog poo. -- Actual meaning: To estimate beyond the known range.
NOW COME UP WITH SOME OF YOUR OWN!
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