AUNT M

 

"Be extra special nice to her," my mother used to say, "by next year she'll probably be dead." I heard this constantly throughout the 1970's and 80's.

My dad used to laugh at these words. He called Aunt M a turtle and said she'd probably outlive the lot of us.

Aunt M was the second oldest of my mother's three sisters. Mom was the second youngest. Always Aunt M was the most fragile. Relatives used to tell me that back when she was young and trim Aunt M couldn't even walk a city block without becoming out of breath and need to rest.

She became even weaker with time and weight gain. Aunt M was the most sedentary person I've ever known! Her youngest son waited on her hand and foot. They would come down to Florida to visit every couple of years or so and stay in our guest house during the winter.

It took them twice as long getting to Florida. They left late and retired early due to my Aunt.

Upon their visits my cousin and I frequently went out places together while Aunt M stayed home with Mom. I remember once as we were climbing stairs he grabbed my arm. Egad I thought, does he think I'm as helpless as his mother! I pushed him away.

Also he not only opened the car door for me he reached over and fastened my seat belt too! I was startled by this. I told him we were family and to stop!

My mother didn't drive and walked everywhere; even long distances. She was the healthiest of the sisters and all her contemporaries. The only hospital time she had ever done was to give birth.

In 1986 that all changed. Despite my mother's great health she was stricken with cancer. It was diagnosed as terminal. She died the following year at age 72.

My cousin & Aunt M came down for the funeral. It was their last visit, but we kept in touch thru letters and phone calls.

Soon after, Aunt M became confined to her bed where she took all her meals and used a chamber pot. My cousin was tasked with cleaning her and their small apartment. This was his fulltime job.

Both struggled financially. They lived on SS plus charity from her two older sons who were successful and comfortable. Aunt M lived in dire terror of ending up in a nursing home. Her youngest vowed never to place her in one. His life was all about making his mother happy.

My father often said that she led a useless life and should be ashamed of herself for wasting her son's.

Aunt M was overweight but not obese. She enjoyed sweets especially cookies. My cousin rarely touched anything with sugar. Nor did he drink or smoke. He was lean and active.

Of course Aunt M did serious hospital time more than once. And with each we were certain her end was near. However the doctors always managed to patch her up to resume her unhealthy lifestyle.

My dad did everything right! He watched his diet wasn't overweight, took long walks and always followed the doctor's advice. Yet he was hit with terminal cancer only a year after being stricken with a stroke. And just the year before he suffered a heart attack that required a triple bypass!

My father's prediction proved correct! Aunt M lived to be 100 years old! She outlived all of her sisters and even him!

At his memorial service Aunt M's oldest son told me the reason for his mom's longevity was due to the fact she never dealt with a single problem during her entire lifetime. Whenever one popped up someone else always stepped in and handled it.

2022 all three of her sons died; her youngest and most devoted caretaker at age 87. Despite his clean and fanatically healthy lifestyle he passed with two types of cancer plus a weak heart. To say he was a genuinely selfless person is an understatement.