Unfortunately, some of these low life leeches have deceptively innocent looking profiles on Facebook, so I've accepted their friendship requests. Shortly after, they contact me via messenger becoming pests more noxious than cockroaches and I must block them.
These are all experts in what is called the long con. They are out to collect as much personal info as possible before hitting you up for money.
Frequently I've thought about having some fun with them since turnabout is fair play. Perhaps I should feed them lies.
Almost always they start out with, "How are you today?"
I'd respond with: I am so miserable I'd kill myself except that my 6 kids are depending on me now that their father is in prison.
To be honest, had he not been a force of nature in the sack I would have left him years ago!
Already he has a new girlfriend, a stripper no less who shows up for connubial visits. When I think of this, it depresses the hell out of me! Thankfully he can't see the 80 lbs I've gained since his incarceration.
And I stood by him too; throwing away what little money I had on his lawyer bills. He's up on manslaughter charges, but honestly it was an accident! He didn't mean to force that bus load of church goers off a cliff! He was playing chicken with the bus when it happened. Ted was drunk at the time; he wasn't in control of his faculties so you can't really blame him!
His cell mates call him Toe-Tag Teddy. This makes me want to cry!
My current job as a phone sex worker barely pays the bills. Clients hang up on me all the time! My boss says I have a squeaky voice and no charisma. What the hell do these creeps expect when I'm feeling so down and depressed?
Oh and my kids are hungry all the time. Soon I may be forced to kill our neighbor's dog to feed them! For months now I've been making them tuna fish sandwiches from dollar store cat food mixed with expired mayonnaise. Thank goodness my kids still can't read!
They're all failing in school. --That's when they actually bother to show up! And when they do, their teachers complain they either sleep thru class or their eyes look all weird and they appear zoned out. That's the 3 older ones anyway. I wish those teachers would mind their own business!
My 4th oldest is unable to attend school due to brain damage. This happened at birth. His head hit the porcelain hard on the Walmart toilet while I was delivering. The birth was a complete surprise! I thought I was passing a kidney stone.
My youngest daughter starts school in the fall but is already dreading it. Kids make fun of her looks! Poor child inherited my buck teeth along with her father's lazy left eye and she's pigeon-toed just like her oldest brother.
And my 4 year old is a handful to say the least! He'll set fire to anything if I don't keep an eye on him! Just a few weeks ago he destroyed our neighbor's new car. But that was an accident! The car just happened to be in their garage when it went up in blazes.
My neighbor is suing, but I'm not worried. You can't get blood from a tomato just because they're both red!
I know my kids aren't perfect, but what can I do? I'm just their mother so it's out of my hands!
I can tell right away you are a sensitive soul and have a sympathetic nature. It fills me with delight that we are now friends on Facebook!
BTW my rent is overdue can you help?
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