THE LAST TIME I SAW MARGARET

She was my mother's age, but hardly a mother figure. When Mom first met Margaret, she thought she was a member of my generation rather than her own. She certainly looked it! To me, Margaret was like a cool and savvy older sister.

Naturally Margaret wasn’t perfect. She was a chatterbox with a faulty filter. But actually that made her more fun. Of her 4 husbands, 2 were wealthy and 2 were physically abusive. Margaret’s last husband fell into both categories. He gave her a black eye, yet she still loved him. He left her for another woman. She struggled financially after that because he used every trick in the book to avoid alimony! But it wasn’t losing her lifestyle that hurt Margaret most, but her husband’s betrayal.

Her parent’s background was quite a romantic one, the stuff of fiction, but true. Margaret's grandfather owned a factory and was extremely wealthy. His youngest son (Margaret's father) married an older divorced woman with children. He was disinherited and disowned. Margaret's family lived modestly, but comfortably.

After her last divorce, Margaret returned to college late in life. This former professional dancer became an Ophthalmologist. She worked in a lab long enough to ensure a comfortable retirement; but family issues and hardships took a toll on her bank account. Plus Margaret was a spender; she never learned to budget.

With age, comes health issues. A paramedic moved next door and she told him, “If you’re ever called to my house don’t try to save me, I’ve enjoyed a good life and I’m ready to go.” He replied that he couldn’t do that. But I understand how she felt.

The last time Margaret came here was in autumn 2008. She was thinking Retirement Home although she hated the idea. I tried to talk her into one in Vero Beach. It was affordable and had a nature walk. Also I could visit regularly and take her on outings. But Margaret was fearful of living on the coast due to tsunamis. I told this was ridiculous! It was unlikely, and besides this Home wasn't near the ocean.

After she left, I felt depressed for several days after. Usually, I'm happy and eager to resume my regular routine. This time, I knew Margaret would not be coming back this way again.

However, it would not be the last time I saw her! Fast-forward to early May 2009, I was dating Hank and we planned a trip to Epcot. I had never been although I'd visited Disney World back when it first opened. Both were near to where Margaret lived. Hank & Margaret were close in age and had much in common. I had an idea!

Margaret had just broken up with a 90 year old man. She and his daughter didn't get along. (I've been on both sides of that fence!) Like me, Margaret did most of the driving in that relationship. We laughed about this!

Hank's oldest son and family lived in Orlando. Miraculously, Hank frequently drove there without getting into an accident. Plus he often rented a bus and drove seniors on fixed incomes to Disney World or Epcot at his expense. Since I'm terrible with directions, I decided to trust his driving this time. Besides it was during daylight and I would be riding shotgun.

We'd be staying overnight at his son's palatial home, (separate rooms) but first we'd drop by Margaret's so I could introduce them. I told Margaret that if she took a shine to Hank, she could have him.

"You're certainly generous with your men," she replied.

I wasn't in love with Hank so I had no problem with stepping aside. Besides, this was one way to phase out my relationship with him. I was growing more and more anxious to do so.

After we arrived at Margaret's, she came to the door dressed only in a slip. She seemed surprised to see us although I'd spoken with her on the phone the night before. Also she had known for 2 weeks we were coming. We waited outside while she quickly dressed herself.

Previously, she told me there was an Applebee's in the large plaza across from her neighborhood where she sometimes ate. I said I would treat her and Hank. Margaret got into her car to lead the way and we followed. Afterward Hank & I planned to drive straight to Epcot.

After entering the plaza, Margaret stopped and got out of her car. She claimed to be lost. (I started to wonder if she was losing it!) We told her we'd find the restaurant and to follow us.

As we chatted during the meal, Margaret & Hank had even more in common; both were raised in the same Midwestern city, both enjoyed going dancing, and both loved the RV lifestyle.

Afterward, I pointed out to Hank that he and Margaret were a better match! And since he visited Orlando frequently a relationship could work out well!

"Do you really think I'd prefer her to you!" He scoffed at the idea.

"Yes!" I snapped. I pointed out everything they had in common. Hank & I had nothing in common! But he seemed to have an issue with her age. Actually, Margaret was in way better shape physically for her age than he was!

After returning home, I phoned Margaret. She seemed confused. She'd been in an auto accident and felt she had to do something, but didn't know what.

I told her to check herself into the Emergency Room immediately, call 911!

"Remember, I'm a doctor," she replied and vehemently refused. It was useless to argue with her.

I called back the next day and the next few days after and only got her answering machine. Now I was extremely worried!

Eventually, Margaret picked-up the phone. She had been in the hospital. Her daughter was there. Margaret had been diagnosed with dementia, the same disease that had claimed my other stormy-weather friend Pat as well as my stepmother. Both Margaret & Pat had whip-sharp minds before they were stricken so in both cases this was a shock!

The next time I heard from Margaret was a few weeks later. She phoned early in the AM from her daughter's home in another state. "I'm being held against my will!" she declared and wanted to give me the number there.

I had jumped from the shower to answer the phone. I told her to call back in 10 minutes because I was dripping all over my furniture. -- That was the wrong thing to say to a dementia patient! In 10 minutes she probably forgot she ever phoned. I never heard from her again.

I left messages on her answering machine in Florida and also sent numerous letters to that address thinking her daughter would contact me. She didn't! I will never forgive that woman for this! I never learned the fate of my treasured friend.

However, I am certain Margaret has passed away now due to her age, the timeline, and the nature of the illness.

Together, we were just like giggling happy teenagers! Despite our ages, Margaret & I shopped in the Junior Dept. We both loved flashy clothes. On another woman of similar age they would have just looked tacky. But on Margaret with her dancer’s body and regal bearing, you would swear she’d just stepped off a private jet from Paris.

Not only was Margaret a trendy dresser, she was also intelligent, plus a witty and fun personality all rolled into a slim and shapely class act. If I lived for 10,000 years, I would still remember her vividly and miss her.