Yesterday I attended a complementary luncheon, this one
sponsored by a funeral home. Of course I went! This was a free meal at a
country club. Several years back, I attended one sponsored by a cremation
society.
What happens after death? I find myself thinking more &
more about this as I grow older. As I'm fond of saying, I'm now 67 and one year
closer to Heaven. What is Heaven? I've heard it's whatever you want it to
be. If that's true, my dead relatives will be elsewhere! I've had encounters
with ghosts and also some downright inexplicable experiences so I'm inclined to
believe there's something after.
Reincarnation makes sense to me. However I don't want to
return to this planet, it's Jerk World! I'd rather come back as an amoeba on
another one. During autohypnosis I saw briefly a past incarnation, my death as
part of the Roman war machine. I was part of a small group separated from the
others. We were ambushed and outnumbered in a shallow stream under a steep,
sheer cliff only a few feet higher than my 30ft cathedral ceiling. The
barbarians wore helmets trimmed with fur. Quickly surrounded, we were overcome!
While frantically engaged in a fight, a warrior came splashing thru the water
and slashed me across my lower back with his sword! I swung around and fell
face first into the stream! But I didn't die of my wound; I drown in the bloody
water.
This revelation explained an issue that's plagued me since
childhood. I loved to swim, but I'd freak out just thinking about my head under
water. Eventually, I overcame this phobia. However, I'm still uncomfortable
with it.
But what if this vision and all of my inexplicable
experiences are a brain glitch and nothing but mere illusion? What if this life
is ALL there is. Why is that a bad thing??? During surgeries I recall the
feeling, or rather the lack of it, no dreams during my unconscious, as
if I simply ceased to exist. If that's what death is, I don't have a problem
with it. If I could remain eternally young in good health with an endless
stream of wealth, I'd want to live forever. But that's not reality! I've
enjoyed wonderful times and endured horrible ones, I can accept finality.
Actually, I'm far more frightened and worried about advancing
age and illness than I am of death!!! Even a brief hospital stay would ruin me
financially.
Most believe that you are automatically entitled to receive
Medicare once you hit age 65. That's untrue! If you are ineligible for Social
Security you are also ineligible for Medicare. I am proof! -- And don't tell me
to get a job unless you are offering me one. And I mean one that pays a living
wage!
A few have suggested a GoFundMe page when the need arises.
However I am someone many people cannot relate to, much less sympathize. Most
would probably be happy to see me die. -- And I'm spitting on each of you in my
head!!!
We live in a screwed-up pseudo religious society where
owning an assault rifle is a God-given right, but affordable healthcare is a
privilege and often a luxury. And this
is only one issue!
The previous complementary luncheon I attended just weeks
before was sponsored by a retirement home. The speaker was good and she made
the place sound fabulous. If an appliance breaks, you just phone maintenance.
They will not even allow you to change a light bulb by yourself! Best of all,
should a hurricane appear on the horizon, no cause for worry, you do
nothing. It's someone else's problem! Plus there are 5 restaurants to choose
from and one meal per day (your choice) is included. As for medical care, no
problem! All of this for only one check
per month.
Whenever someone inquired about price, we were informed it all
depended on the dwelling of your choice; pricing was listed in a brochure on
the back table. And we were assured this place was the most reasonable around.
I picked up one of those brochures. The most inexpensive dwelling
there, a small studio apartment the size of a hotel room, (no porch or veranda)
cost $500 more a month than I pull in! That does not include the purchase
price! If I sold my 2-story house that I love with room to roam and a private
back yard I might be able to afford it. However, I'd better take an enormous
purse to that one daily meal because I'd have no money left for groceries, or
anything else. At least the retirement
home I visited in Thailand included all meals.
Also I find people to be draining. I don't like to socialize
with groups, much less live with them! I would feel like an inmate confined to
that tiny apartment. NO THANK YOU! If I had the amount required to live there, it
would be unnecessary! I could be enjoying life way better right here.
Everyone who sees me cannot believe I'm as old as I am. I
want to keep it that way.
I've switched to a healthier diet and I'm doing everything
in my power to preserve my health. I'm not trying to live forever, I can't
afford to! I just don't want to die in a hospital! Nor do I want to be one of
those senior citizens with a kitchen counter or medicine cabinet full of
over-priced drugs. Perhaps everything I'm doing will never be enough, heredity
is a major factor. But when the time comes, I'm determined to leave this world
on my own terms.
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