THE NOT SO EMERALD ISLE OF ERIN

The year was 1976 America was celebrating its bicentennial.  I was 25 years old.

I had been to Canada, the Bahamas, Mexico, & Guatemala (none of which required a passport back then) with family members; but now I hungered to go abroad. Friends expressed interest right up until it came time to make firm plans. Then I heard every imaginable excuse why they couldn't go and the following year it was the same. Exasperated, I declared that I was going alone!

One Sunday in July my father spotted an ad in the travel section of the newspaper; a 10 day trip to Ireland for $650! This included airfare, a full Irish breakfast every morning, plus a celebratory dinner inside an Irish castle! Even by 1970's standards this was a bargain!!! And it was out of Miami. Plus the tour would be taking me to County Tipperary where my paternal Grandmother was born. This was Grandmother I never knew.

The next day at lunch we drove to a travel agent in West Palm Beach where our family business was located. The agent researched the tour and stated it was legit. She booked me for the second to last week in September. This was to be the first of many tours abroad for me and Stella became my regular travel agent.

Now, all I needed a passport! The cost was only $15 then. I actually loved my photo! I had long, wavy blonde hair & wore my cameo choker, a typical 1970's look.

All summer long, a soap commercial played their ditty on TV. With a spritely lilt it sang, "Get away from summer escape to Irish Spring!" This always made me smile.

When I shared my exciting news, most replied, "Is that a good idea? There's a civil war going on there between the Protestants and the Catholics. People are getting shot and blown up!" I explained that this was occurring only in a small section in the north. The greater part of Ireland was peaceful, although they seemed not to believe me.

My flight departed during the wee hours of the morning, around 2:45 AM. My father drove me down. It was a near 3 hour drive from our home in Stuart to Miami, plus I had to be at the airport 2 hours before take-off. I'm not a night person and I was eager to board the plane and sleep.

I was assigned a wretched middle seat crammed between 2 strangers. Despite the discomfort, I managed to doze, but was awakened shortly as snacks were being served. This was the last thing I wanted!

An hour before landing, the airline crew walked up & down the aisles singing, When Irish Eyes Are Smiling. Passengers were encouraged to sing along.

After arriving at Shannon Airport we were greeted with big mugs of Irish coffee. I had Irish coffee before and didn't like it, it has too much alcohol. I was the only one who declined it.

After collecting our luggage, we were directed to a small room which quickly became over crowded. Here, 6 or 7 different guides stood with a list of names over each. Everyone bumped into each other looking for theirs. The entire airplane had been filled with only Florida residents for this tour. On later escorted trips, I learned this is rare; usually you're among people from all over the U.S. and even other countries.

My guide was named Paddy. He gave me the number of his bus. Soon after seating myself a slender woman around 45 came and sat down beside me. She was Anna from Delray Beach. We became fast friends.

After everyone was seated, Paddy announced the hotel was overbooked and some of us needed to unboard and remain at the airport hotel. But not to worry, he'd be picking up everyone later for the welcome feast at Bunratty Castle. Anna & I held my breaths; usually it's us singles who get it in the neck. But not this time! Paddy called out the names of 3 couples. One of the men was livid and red-faced with anger. He unleashed a barrage of profanities in Paddy's face. The tour guide appeared shaken as he re-entered the bus. I felt badly for him.

Neither the guide nor driver knew where Florida was located on the map. This surprised me, because Florida has a distinctive shape; it's America's penis, or gun, depending on your frame of mind. I was astonished to learn that tourism is as big an industry in Ireland as it is in Florida.

In 1976 Ireland was experiencing the worst drought in 200 years. It was not as green as advertised and this was disappointing.

I was surprised to find 4 big double beds in my room! Then I remembered this was a Catholic country and families are large.

A few hours later, our group was driven to Bunratty Castle for an evening of entertainment. The guide explained that everything at the feast would be exactly as during medieval times, only knives would be given with our meal.

The castle was torch lit and displayed long rows of tables. The entertainers were our wait staff. The star of the show was a beautiful blonde girl around my age. She walked up and asked me to sit at her table. I felt honored.

Soup was served. We lifted the bowls to our lips. I don't remember what was served next, but it was all finger-friendly food, no mashed potatoes or peas, etc... Then we were treated to a musical & dance history of Ireland. This was my first experience with dinner theatre.

The following day we toured the city of Limerick and then south into picturesque countryside with quaint thatched cottages and churches made of field stone. We passed thru the village of Adare. On the River Feale we stopped at Abbeyfeale.

This was the beginning of an irksome habit! Half our group headed straight for the bar. Always, the tour guide encountered problems getting them out and extra bathroom stops were required later. After which they would head straight into another bar! Always, we were late arriving at our destinations! Due to this, many optional tours available thru our hotels were missed. I complained to the guide!

"You have to understand, dear," he said. "This is something special to them."

I told him we have plenty of bars in America! And I didn't know if I'd ever be returning to Ireland but I was missing things I wanted to see and do; activities that were truly special, all because of them! He shrugged and said he was sorry. Thankfully, on future trips I was assigned guides with backbones who insisted we stick to our schedule.

We were supposed to arrive in Killarney in the afternoon, but thanks to the drunkards it was well after dark. I had planned to book a jaunting car (horse-drawn buggy) to tour the lakes & castles, but now it was too late and I was pissed! This was something I had been looking forward to. I had to settle for the bus tour the following morning.

From there, we toured the Ring of Kerry. This was a succession of panoramic views composing of lakes and mountains that took my breath away. Despite the drought Killarney was gorgeous! Its lakes, rolling hills, and centuries old castles appeared to be straight out of a fairytale. 

Then we drove thru Cahiriciveen on Doulous Bay. Valentia Island is just off the mouth of the Bay. Named by the Spaniards this was a hub of trading and smuggling for centuries. From there, we went to Waterville. The fields, streams, and rural beauty truly made it a sportsman's paradise.

The following day, we were off to Cork City to kiss the Blarney Stone! This was a major highlight of the trip! Two years before I saw a travelogue showing tourists doing this. I have a fear of heights and told myself I would NEVER do that, but I DID!!!

At Blarney Castle the narrow winding staircase leading up to the famous stone was actually scarier! There was no railing on the one side with a steep drop below as a constant stream of people moved in both directions.

As to the Blarney Stone itself, a big man holds your ankles down as you're lowered backwards to kiss the rock, and it's a long, long way down beneath. However, I was near-sighted back then and after removing my prescription sunglasses all I saw was a green blur below.

There are iron bars in the event the guy loses his grip, however those are far down as well! You could still crack your skull!

Kissing the stone is supposed to give one the gift of eloquence. I joked afterward that I was no longer inarticulate. I began thinking about the saliva from people all over the world and wondered if the stone was ever hosed down with soap.

The next day in keeping with spit-covered rocks, we left Killarney and viewed the monastic remains of the Rock of Cashel where according to legend, the devil spat. This was County Tipperary, the birth place of my paternal Grandmother! All of us clapped loudly as we bellowed out a rousing rendition of, It's A Long Way To Tipperary! For me, this was another highlight and now a sacred memory.

From there, it was on to Kilkenny situated on the banks of the River Nore. Afterward we stopped in Kildare the center of horse breeding & training at the Western edge of the Curragh Plain. This was a busy marketing town.

It's the donkeys that I remember most in Ireland! We were up early every morning and it was common to see milk delivered by donkey cart. In fact, throughout Ireland, people with donkeys were everywhere.

Now it was off to Dublin! Ireland's capital is a fascinating city. Its history is steeped in both tragedy and glory which I was soon to discover. The tour guide had us all singing, Molly Malone! "In Dublin's fair city where the old maids are pretty," --Those are MY lyrics anyway!

Dublin is filled with wonderful 18th century Georgian architecture, lovely squares, parks, and wide streets. We toured the Joyce Museum. Afterward, we went to Trinity College to see the famous Book of Kells and the National Library. Also we saw the old Parliament House, (now the Bank of Ireland) Dublin Castle and St. Patrick's Cathedral.

Our afternoon was free! My seatmate Anna & I went exploring together. I remember seeing a large African woman in colorful tribal garb looking magnificently incongruous amidst the Celtic atmosphere as she strolled proudly down the sidewalk.  Anna & I bought souvenirs, postcards, & gifts. Later, we encountered a group of young Italian guys who flirted with me.

Anna & I stopped at a small cafe for lunch. I was surprised and delighted to find pizza on the menu! I ordered a small, individual, anchovy one. (Hey, I love anchovies, deal with it!) But there was only ONE long anchovy in the middle, period! However the pizza was tasty. In fact it was the most delicious thing I ate during the entire trip. Irish food is terrible! I am no fan of their cuisine.

I along with everyone else signed up for an optional event at the Jury's Hotel that evening. It consisted of dinner, classic Irish entertainment and more. We enjoyed Irish fiddlers, dancers, & lots of pretty girls singing. But the star was a comedian and master of Irish humor. (His last name was Roach just like the bug!) This guy was downright side-splittingly hilarious! And it was all clean humor, too.

For the finale, all the performers took the stage to sing The Battle Hymn of the Republic in honor of America's bicentennial. The crowd consisting entirely of Americans gave them a standing ovation.

The following day we left Dublin. As we set off across the breadth of the Irish countryside we passed thru scenic towns amidst castle ruins and sleepy little villages. 

We stopped in Athlone, capital of the Midlands on the River Shannon. Later we toured Connemara. As with Killarney, it was gorgeous despite the drought. Connemara is one of the most wild and beautiful areas of Ireland. The lakes and mountains are glorious and breathtaking. We traveled thru Clifden a seaside town and capital of Connemara. There, I bought myself a bracelet of Connemara marble.

Next it was on to Galway! Throughout the trip, the guide was constantly having us break into Irish songs and clap along. A little of this went a long way! As we approached Galway, he had everyone singing Galway Bay. The song that starts: "If you ever go across the sea to Ireland, etc, la, la, la."

We stayed the night there. Our hotel was directly across from Galway Bay. From the lobby a long dock was visible. Land stretched under the entire length of it and beyond. This looked rather sad. My room overlooked a cow pasture. Despite the drought, the scene was bucolic and pretty.

On the city tour of Galway, a group of us ladies lingered in town attempting to find a reasonably priced meal. Dinners in all our hotels all started at $8 which was expensive by 70's standards. (Nowadays most places want that much just for dessert!) However, all we found were bars on every corner serving sandwiches and we were hungry for a full dinner. Locals directed us to a restaurant, but it was closed! We ended up taking a cab back to our hotel.

But I was delighted to have breakfast served in my room every morning. This was true throughout the entire British Isles as well.

After leaving Galway we drove thru the Burren country with its bare limestone hills. They cover about 50 square miles. We stopped in Lisdoonvarna noted as the matchmaker town for people who wish to marry. (I was eager to leave for that reason.) Then it was off to view the majestic Cliffs of Moher which extend along the coast of County Clare. They rise sheer above the sea to nearly 700 ft. -- It was the photo of these cliffs in the newspaper ad that actually sold me on this trip. And yes, they were impressive! Before reaching them we passed wide haunting Irish moors. 

Our final destination was Ennis, the chief town of the county. From there, it was back to Shannon Airport before our flight home. I recall I did some serious duty free shopping there.

At Miami International, my father and future step-mother were waiting for me. Anna & I smiled fondly at one another and waved good-bye. We would never see each other again.

Shortly after, I complained to my travel agent, Stella that our guide was negligent in adhering to the schedule forcing me to miss optional excursions. Several weeks later, I received a $50 check from the tour company. I would have preferred going on those excursions!

In 1976 Ireland was at least 30 years or more behind the United States. Even in Dublin, milk was still being delivered by donkey cart. Whenever I mentioned this, often I heard exclamations of, "Oh I would love that! I want to move there!"

And I'd tell them, "No you wouldn't after you discover all the things you'll be giving up." This is a lesson I had to re-learn when I looked into expatriating.

Many people who have been to Ireland more recently tell me it has changed quite a bit. But I'm glad I visited when I did, despite the drought and the drunks. I saw Ireland as it used to be and that's something to treasure.