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Sunday, January 31, 2016

THE LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG FLIGHT


Just one week to the day after my 65th birthday I was sitting at the airport in Dubai waiting to board a plane to Bangkok. This would have seemed incredible to me 10 years earlier.

Copies of all my info were left with friends in the event of an emergency. But I made clear that I didn’t consider anything less than a Zombie Apocalypse to be an emergency. Also I left contact numbers for my brother & cousin in the event I got blown-up, set on fire, or my head was displayed on a skewer.

I hadn’t fully unpacked from Ecuador only 5 months before, because I knew this trip would soon be coming up. On this flight, only ONE carry-on bag was allowed and a purse counted as a carry-on. First and Business Class are allowed 3 bags. A 17 inch seat awaited me for the entire 16 hours to Dubai. Economy Class is the 21st Century version of traveling steerage. I don’t understand why in this day and age, the comfort of ALL passengers isn’t important and only the ones with money are deemed worthy. Sadly the world is moving more in this direction.

At the airport everything was in military time. For crap sake! I’m a civilian and so is my watch and alarm clock! The first time I encountered this was at the airport in London back in the 70’s. I looked up and saw 13:00 O’clock. I swear I thought I’d stepped into the Twilight Zone!

Issues had come up that I was not made aware when I booked months before. The first thing I told the travel agent was that I needed the shuttle to pick me up at my house in Vero Beach for the long drive to Orlando, otherwise I could not go. I have no relatives in Florida and my friends all have busy lives, I didn’t want to inconvenience them.

I was assured this would be no problem. – WELL IT WAS A BIG HONKING PROBLEM!!! Almost a month before my flight, (after my trip was paid in full) I was informed the shuttle does NOT have door-to-door service. So now I found myself shelling out for a limousine each way. It will probably the first and last time I’ll ever ride in one.

I departed Orlando for Dubai on an Arab Emirates Boeing 77-200LR. The stewardesses on this flight were all young beauties and they wore the most glamorous uniforms I’ve ever seen! A veil was pinned to one side of their caps that swept under their chins. It was quite an exotic and sophisticated look.

This flight was surprisingly pleasant! Only one seat was beside me and it was empty. I could put my feet in it and relax; no one was in my space annoying me. Plus there was a big innovation that didn’t exist back in the 1970’s, a private screen with a vast movie library for me to enjoy!  I fell asleep during the last movie and had to wait until my next Emirates flight to see how it ended. And because I ordered a special meal I was served before anyone else in Economy Class throughout my entire journey.  

As we neared Dubai and the plane began its decent, I could see the tops of those futuristic skyscrapers piercing the clouds and then lots of sand. Around the airport the buildings were rather ordinary looking. It was around 12 noon Dubai time.

I felt totally lost and confused at the Dubai Airport! The crowd from my plane quickly dispersed and I kept finding myself at dead ends searching for my gate. Fortunately, my baggage had been checked thru to Bangkok. Finally, a young employee led me to a tram. I boarded, and then it was another long frustrating search before I found my gate.

As I waited to board my next plane, it was fun to people watch.  All cultures paraded before me. I saw not only women with hijabs, but those covered in black burkas with only their eyes visible. I saw Hindus in their saris, Buddhist Monks, and even several people in African garb. Clearly, I wasn’t at Orlando International anymore!

I went in search of a bathroom and nearly got lost again! When I returned, my gate was emptying. I thought we were boarding. Instead, we rode an escalator down to another waiting area for an hour. This one was isolated.

It seemed to be taking forever, I was tired. I had been booked for window seats throughout. At long last, by section we boarded.

OMG!!! Nooooo!!! A couple sat beside me hemming me in. And the woman next to me carried a year old infant!!!  That kid screamed and shrieked in my ear for the entire 6 hours to Bangkok!!!  It was a miserable flight!!!  I wanted to holler, “Hey stewardess, either strangle this child or drown it in the toilet!!!”

Many would argue that the child was too young to know better. – That is EXACTLY THE REASON small children should NOT be allowed in public!!! And people dim and clueless enough to bring them on airplanes should be forcibly sterilized!!!

After enduring 6 long hellish hours of an overwhelming urge to commit infanticide, we landed in Bangkok, FINALLY!

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