CHRISTMAS DAY & GREAT EXPECTATIONS

I love a drizzly holiday season filled with dark gray sky. It makes my Christmas tree shine all the brighter.

Christmas 2003 was the 3rd without my father. The dust had finally settled after his death and I was left with a joy and serenity as never before. Christmas morning I could still smell the cinnamon candles in the air from the night before.

After preparing a delicious breakfast of eggnog pancakes, I decided upon a movie from my collection of VCR tapes. (Remember this was 2003!) The movie I chose was a 1998 update of Charles Dickens’s GREAT EXPECTATIONS. I had seen all film versions but this one.

The novel had been our class assignment in the 9^th grade. Taken a chapter at a time, we’d discuss it at length in class. Unlike other such assignments; I actually enjoyed the story, enough to read ahead of the class. We embarked on this literary adventure right around the holiday season, it felt like a Christmas treat!

Always, I was right there with the characters! However, sometimes Pip was a real PIP!!! Never could I understand his obsession with the bitchy Estella. Also anyone spending 5 seconds with Miss Havisham could see she was a real nutcase! However, if you are wealthy enough, others are willing to overlook many sins. Sadly, that’s true even today.

None of the movie Estellas looked the way I pictured her. Not one was a particular beauty. The actress who played the Mom in the old FATHER KNOWS BEST series was Estella in the early version we watched in the school auditorium. I found her an incredulous choice!

Even worse was Gwyneth Paltrow in the 1998 update! That movie should have been given a different title! It was only loosely based on the Dickens novel. To my astonishment, it started out in Florida, my home state!!! (Had you told me this back in the 9^th grade, I would have exclaimed, “No way!”) Albeit over on the Gulf Coast, I live on the Treasure Coast.

The modern version held no magic. GREAT EXPECTATIONS should always remain a Victorian tale. Still, I found it interesting as a novelty.

In my opinion, Michael York made the best adult Pip in the 1974 made for TV adaptation.

My only complaint with the novel was that I hated the ending. --- Both of them! In the original, Pip & Estella met again after many years, and then go their separate ways. Due to public protest, Dickens changed it. Now the story has a love will find a way type ending. Given the nature of these characters, I thought that too unrealistic.

Here’s the way I would have it end: Pip and Estella would both wed others. A decade later, the couples would meet at a soiree. An older, considerably less attractive Estella would be tipsy and up to her usual number, shamelessly flirting with every man in the room before her humiliated husband. Pip would be shaking his head, while whispering under his breath, “Thank God I dodged that cannon ball.” Then he would extend his arm to his wife and with a smile, the two would depart to attend a theatre performance across town. There would be no looking back.

The following year Junior High was behind me, now it was 10^th grade and SILAS MARNER! Arguably the most boring, tedious book ever written!!! Why on earth it’s considered a classic I’ll never know. Forcing students to read it should have been regarded as mental torture. Why couldn’t they have assigned a good Thomas Hardy novel? There are plenty!

And Christmas 2003 was over way too soon. 2004 was the year the 2 hurricanes hit the Treasure Coast, only 3 weeks apart to the day. My home stood in disrepair until spring! That year, I was not up to celebrating the holidays.

INFLATION RATIONALIZATION

Ah, the holiday season is here again! Also known as the over-spending season! I don’t buy that many gifts, but I do love all those special holiday foods. Many are way expensive, but the holiday season is brief.

However, a bar of Milky Way Dark tastes just as (if not more) delicious to me as gourmet chocolate. I remember when you could buy ANY Mars bar for just 5 cents! I was furious when they jumped to a dime!

Here I go talking old, again. So if you grew up with computers stop reading right now, because you are not going to relate to anything in this posting.

During early fall when I was 9, my parents took a 4 day trip over to the other coast. Since I was in school, I stayed home with my grandfather & brother. My brother (11 years older) was getting ready to go into the army. Being guys, they didn’t want to cook or do any dishes, so we ate out every night. We hit every dive restaurant in town because they were so cheap. And we ate well!

Never was it soup OR salad with our entrees, always it was both with rolls included. Plus we ordered dessert! Our meals were only a few bucks for the 3 of us. 

Nowadays, a dessert alone cost more than 3 meals together back then! Sure, wages were far less, but money stretched a whole lot farther! You could actually support a family on one modest income.

Several of my friends came from large families with 5 or more kids. Their fathers were truck drivers or laborers and their moms were homemakers. They didn’t have many luxuries, but nobody starved, either.

Now more than ever it’s expensive just to breathe!

I would have NEVER considered shopping in a Thrift Store back in my 20’s! Now I’m paying the same amount (sometimes more) for second hand clothes as I used to pay for new in the 1970’s!

A visit to the doctor was $8! Around the mid 1970’s, I handed the receptionist my $8 check and was informed the price was now $15 forcing me to dig into my purse. Prices don’t leap, they pole vault!

Now that I’ve entered my senior years, I’m forced to make big changes. I’m thinking with my wallet more than ever.

Two big exploratory trips are ahead of me, one in 2015 and another in early 2016. Every spare penny is going toward these. Afterward, I must make a life altering decision. There can be no more rationalization about inflation.

TRUST YOURSELF, ONLY

Last month, after I gave a brief speech at a business networking event to promote my books, a lady approached me. She liked my look and wanted to hire me to go shopping with her. I told her my look was ever-changing because I love to experiment with different styles. Fashion should be fun and never stagnant!

If she wanted, I told her, I’d go shopping with her free of charge to make suggestions, but she would be the decider.

In my latest book, co-authored with April Sampson, I encourage women to shop alone as not to be influenced by another’s preference. Your look should reflect your taste and be yours alone. Learn to trust your own judgment! If you think you look good, you do! Never try to be a clone of someone else!

If you admire someone’s look, incorporate those elements into your own appearance, but they should never dominate.

I have been given terrible advice by much smarter people; sometimes it was intentional, sometimes not. Intelligence isn’t always wisdom. Plus I don’t believe in turning total control over to anyone or anything, often there’s an agenda, one that is not in my best interest.

The only good advice I ever received from my mother came at age 12 when I started wearing a bra. She told me, “Never take beauty advice from other girls. They’re all jealous and out to sabotage you.”

I came to this realization myself at age 14. I was still a natural blonde then, but just barely. I sat waiting in the school auditorium with the rest of 8^th grade waiting to have my yearbook photos taken. (My folks rarely purchased these, usually I looked too gruesome.) I think the school hired the photographer from the DMV!

As I waited with the crowd of other kids, a friend since our elementary days strolled over. “Let me fix your hair for the picture, please?” She asked with a sweet smile.

This girl always looked well put together. She had a stylish haircut which she fashioned herself. I was flattered and eager. She spent what seemed like a long time fussing with my dishwater blonde locks. Finally, she finished.

“Don’t touch anything,” she said, “You look perfect!”

Before long, I was ordered up the steps with the rest of my row. Soon, only one person stood in front of me. A mirror happened to be there for last minute touches. – As I gazed at myself, I was horrified!!! I wanted to cry. My short, curly (usually all over my head) locks were completely flat down to my ears. Plus this “friend” had parted my hair in the middle with goofy curls at ear length all around the back of my skull! I looked like a side-show geek straight out of American Horror Story, one that eats live chickens in a pit for the entertainment of the crowd! (Oh wait that’s another show!) Quickly, I pulled out my comb and tried to undo it! At that moment the photographer waved me over barking to “Hurry up!” Needless to say, my parents didn’t buy my photos that year, either. Thank goodness!

As for my so-called friend, I KNOW SHE KNEW BETTER!!! After the stunt she tried to pull, I kept my distance and regarded with suspicion ever since.  

During the early 1980’s, I watched a TV magazine show, one segment featured a professional in a bat-winged jumpsuit who arrogantly pulled clothes from her client’s closets. She tossed them on the floor while criticizing their taste. Had she done this in my home, I would have attacked her with a pointed toe shoe! Those bat-wing sleeves would be flapping right out the door!

I buy clothes because I love them. Plus I become sentimentally attached, I recall all the memories I made while wearing them. Also I’d never want to wear someone else’s taste!

In the book, I make only suggestions to help women improve their appearance, along with options that won’t break their budget. However it’s YOUR preference that counts and YOU are the one you need to please.

COMPUTERS SHMOOTERS

It’s no secret that I struggle with technology! I still don’t own a cell phone, just a land-line. I know this is considered seriously uncool, but I’m free to be this way! It’s 1 of the perks of being old!

Recently, I purchased another book that claimed to simplify computers for seniors. They lied!!! I could have read the 1^st chapter over & over from now until doomsday and still wouldn’t understand what I was reading. I returned it for a refund!

What I really need is a book that breaks down and defines all those computer terms in the 1^st chapter. The ensuing chapters should focus upon the application of each. Instead, they throw everything at you at one time! Hell, half of it may as well be written in Chinese!

The good news is that I did not lose my young Tech guy, Jake after all! He has been slowly closing down his computer repair and tutorial service. Thankfully, because we have become friends he will continue to help me when I need it. Jake is a gem! I have also hired him to hang my beaded curtain, fix my broken kitchen cabinet door, and do other assorted jobs. Jake reminds me of my father in that he is as equally skilled with his hands as he is head smart.-- Although my father was as equally frustrated and flummoxed by computers as I am!

In the past, I’ve hired more than a few Tech guys. Once, when I could not get Jake and I needed someone immediately, I called a man from the yellow pages. He was a laconic, middle-aged sort who charged $100 an hour. I stated that I was putting our session on the clock because I was on a fixed income. Well the S.O.B. charged an extra $5 for the time it took to write his check!

Jake even purchased a microwave for me on his own time after mine broke. Jake is the best!

Not long ago, I was in a store when the computer was down, I remarked to the kid behind the counter that I couldn’t understand how anyone could possibly remember all those steps, but then I didn’t grow up with computers. He replied, “Oh come on lady, they had computers back in the 80’s!” He gave me a look as if I was too stupid to live.

HE wasn’t even around in the 80’s, I was! Personal computers were rare, then! No one in my circle owned one until 2000! Some businesses used them in the 80’s, but only about half!

During the 90’s, I got a word processor. To my astonishment it was already obsolete. Neighbors and acquaintances would come over to gaze upon it with awe; none of these people were into technology!

With this machine, I could do anything in either 3 steps, 4 at the most. Plus it came with a manual! Everything was explicitly and simply explained. Also an 800 number was included! Plus I could reach a technician right away, no menus or death holds! And there was none of this, “Oh that didn’t work, now let’s try this.” Issues were cleared up immediately. I miss that machine terribly!

Later, problems arose because it was old technology. The local office depot had to order supplies just for me. And with age it kept breaking down more frequently. The only repairman qualified to fix it was located in West Palm Beach, an hour south of where we lived. After my father & I moved to Vero Beach, it was 2 hours away. It became too inconvenient.

Now back to the 1980’s; I recall when my pious cousin and aunt came for a stay, they invited friends to our house, religious cuckoos who swore the anti-Christ would be a computer. And my relatives agreed!

That reminded me of an old pill of a teacher I had during the early 1960’s. She believed likewise about TV’s! Often, she told with pride about moving into her new home and the 1^st thing she did was to rip out the TV by the wires and throw it in the trash. She didn’t want her family exposed to mind pollution or her young son to see half-naked saloon girls, by golly!

Computers have their place in my life. The only thing I have against these machines is that I don’t like having them forced on me at every turn. My 2 close friends Pat & Margaret passed from this world at the end of the last decade never having owned or needing one.

Some of the best outside workers I’ve hired were senior men. Whenever I would ask for an estimate to be emailed, I was told with a chuckle, “I never mess with computers.” – Often, I wish I didn’t have to!