TRUST YOURSELF, ONLY

Last month, after I gave a brief speech at a business networking event to promote my books, a lady approached me. She liked my look and wanted to hire me to go shopping with her. I told her my look was ever-changing because I love to experiment with different styles. Fashion should be fun and never stagnant!

If she wanted, I told her, I’d go shopping with her free of charge to make suggestions, but she would be the decider.

In my latest book, co-authored with April Sampson, I encourage women to shop alone as not to be influenced by another’s preference. Your look should reflect your taste and be yours alone. Learn to trust your own judgment! If you think you look good, you do! Never try to be a clone of someone else!

If you admire someone’s look, incorporate those elements into your own appearance, but they should never dominate.

I have been given terrible advice by much smarter people; sometimes it was intentional, sometimes not. Intelligence isn’t always wisdom. Plus I don’t believe in turning total control over to anyone or anything, often there’s an agenda, one that is not in my best interest.

The only good advice I ever received from my mother came at age 12 when I started wearing a bra. She told me, “Never take beauty advice from other girls. They’re all jealous and out to sabotage you.”

I came to this realization myself at age 14. I was still a natural blonde then, but just barely. I sat waiting in the school auditorium with the rest of 8^th grade waiting to have my yearbook photos taken. (My folks rarely purchased these, usually I looked too gruesome.) I think the school hired the photographer from the DMV!

As I waited with the crowd of other kids, a friend since our elementary days strolled over. “Let me fix your hair for the picture, please?” She asked with a sweet smile.

This girl always looked well put together. She had a stylish haircut which she fashioned herself. I was flattered and eager. She spent what seemed like a long time fussing with my dishwater blonde locks. Finally, she finished.

“Don’t touch anything,” she said, “You look perfect!”

Before long, I was ordered up the steps with the rest of my row. Soon, only one person stood in front of me. A mirror happened to be there for last minute touches. – As I gazed at myself, I was horrified!!! I wanted to cry. My short, curly (usually all over my head) locks were completely flat down to my ears. Plus this “friend” had parted my hair in the middle with goofy curls at ear length all around the back of my skull! I looked like a side-show geek straight out of American Horror Story, one that eats live chickens in a pit for the entertainment of the crowd! (Oh wait that’s another show!) Quickly, I pulled out my comb and tried to undo it! At that moment the photographer waved me over barking to “Hurry up!” Needless to say, my parents didn’t buy my photos that year, either. Thank goodness!

As for my so-called friend, I KNOW SHE KNEW BETTER!!! After the stunt she tried to pull, I kept my distance and regarded with suspicion ever since.  

During the early 1980’s, I watched a TV magazine show, one segment featured a professional in a bat-winged jumpsuit who arrogantly pulled clothes from her client’s closets. She tossed them on the floor while criticizing their taste. Had she done this in my home, I would have attacked her with a pointed toe shoe! Those bat-wing sleeves would be flapping right out the door!

I buy clothes because I love them. Plus I become sentimentally attached, I recall all the memories I made while wearing them. Also I’d never want to wear someone else’s taste!

In the book, I make only suggestions to help women improve their appearance, along with options that won’t break their budget. However it’s YOUR preference that counts and YOU are the one you need to please.