STRESS, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION 101

I had just endured 2 serious hurricanes and their aftermath, lost a staggering amount of money in investments, plus I was literally being haunted by a ghost. I was freaking out and didn't know where to turn for help.

Then I read in the newspaper that the Mental Health Association was starting a free therapy group for stress, anxiety, & depression. Since I suffered from all 3, I phoned to register.

I was the first to arrive. The therapist was a divorced, middle-aged mother I'll call, "Marcia". I explained that I was uncomfortable speaking in public. Then I watched as 20 people came; 2 men, 18 women. The room was small and crowded. Marcia made me speak FIRST! -- I've always wondered if that was strategic & Marcia hoped I'd never return! -- I'll never forget the way she stared when she first saw me. Anyway I was brief, as were many.

Then, oh my God, we came to the man in the middle! He began spilling his entire life story starting with intimate details of his childhood right through his recent messy divorce. (I wondered if he thought this was private therapy!) Soon we only had 10 minutes left and half the group had yet to speak.

I kept looking up at the clock and over at the therapist trying to drop hints. I kept expecting her to say, " Wrap this up buster, we're running out of time!"

"Oh how wonderful you're able to open up and share like that!" she enthused. -- After the guy had wasted over 45 minutes of the hour, leaving many unable to speak.

The following session, we were split into 2 groups meeting on different days. Each group had one man. And wouldn't you know mine would end up with the drama king! It soon became clear that he was the therapist's favorite. Often, she would remark how he added a special energy to the class, even going so far as to refer to him as "The Crown Jewel" of the group. Obviously, she was smitten.

The drama guy was far from handsome. In fact, he bore a striking resemblance to Dilbert's boss in the funny papers. However, he did own a high end business, which can make a homely man a whole lot more attractive. Marcia was a good therapist once you got her attention away from this guy.

Also in the group was a recent widow, "Grace," who was extremely attractive. Soon she and the drama king began to date.

We were given a text to study with homework assignments. Marcia said the group would shrink as the weeks passed. This was true, Grace disappeared, but the man remained.

As we discussed our written lessons individually, others were allowed to interject and share. To my constant irritation, the crown jewel kept commandeering everyone else's time with his sharing. He always turned everything around and made it all about himself, to the applause of our therapist.

I was the only woman there who stopped him in his tracks and returned the conversation to me. In fact, I even stepped in and usurped some of his time. Needless to say, he didn't like me and I was constantly shot dirty looks by this guy.

After 12 weeks this particular class came to its end. I registered for the next. To my surprise and delight, the same group returned, minus the reigning crown jewel.

Several years later, I was a guest of my friend Irene at one of her Military Ladies Luncheons. Across the room I recognized another guest, Grace from therapy. I asked her why she stopped attending.

"It was the therapist," she stated. "Marcia phoned and told me not to come anymore, she didn't want to council a courting couple. Plus she felt HE was too fragile to be in a relationship right now."

"Marcia probably had designs on him herself. I've always had my suspicions about this," I admitted.

"I got that vibe, too," Grace replied. She went on to say the relationship had been over for some time.

I told her she deserved better. Had I been the guy's wife I would have left him, too!

Without the drama king, the class had an entirely different, more positive, and healing atmosphere. Plus Marcia now came across as a more professional therapist.