THE TWELVE BREAKFASTS OF CHRISTMAS

 

Actually, FOURTEEN but I've always been bad at math! The week before Christmas and after, I treat myself to a different breakfast every morning; each is always served with fresh fruit, usually blueberries, strawberries, or raspberries and tea; delicious varieties of teas such as Wild Berry, Peach, Cinnamon, & Orange Passionfruit Jasmine, just to name a few.

For my holiday breakfasts, one morning it could be buttermilk biscuits with preserves or honey- butter and a week later Brazilian cheese bread. Also, omelets & frittatas can be made in many different creative ways. Plus, I love those Uncrustables from the supermarket for breakfast. My favorite is the honey & peanut butter; but there's always a delicious chocolate stuffed one for the following week! Plus, those tiny pizza cupcakes also make a great breakfast, as well as empanadas and gruyere & green onion croquettes.  

For my Christmas Eve breakfast I love miniature quiches. Then, on Christmas Day I enjoy walnut pancakes, or fig & orange phyllo bites. – The later, as well as most I’ve listed can be found in the frozen food section of the supermarket ready to bake.

And for my New Year's Eve breakfast I delight to raspberry & brie hor de oeuvres. New Year's Day its ginger ale pancakes dusted with powdered sugar.

Come up with your own list to make the holidays extraordinary and remember to be creative! You can diet in January.

If you don’t already own a toaster oven, get one! You’ll save on your electric bill by not having to heat a big oven. And be sure to unplug it when not in use. These days I keep the microwave unplugged when not in use as well.

And my table is always festively decorated to make sure my holidays feel as well as taste special! You can buy plenty of beautifully festive ones at the Dollar Store. – Do this before prices rise again!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

THE EMPRESS ON CHRISTMAS

 

Her name was never mentioned in any history class of mine. I was well into my 30’s when I discovered this extraordinary woman, Elisabeth of Bavaria, Empress of Austria and Queen of Hungary.

I made certain to read everything I could about her. She became a favorite historical figure. This sovereign remains well known and revered in Europe but is mostly unknown here. In her time, she was known mostly by her nickname Sisi (pronounced Cee cee).

Elisabeth’s older sister was the one slated to marry the young Emperor Franz Joseph of Austria. This was considered a done deal by their parents. But once Franz (a notorious horn dog) set eyes upon the beautiful 16-year-old teenager he defied even his controlling manipulative mother and married Sisi instead.

And this woman truly was the mother-in-law from hell with no concept of boundaries when it came to their marriage. She considered Elisabeth a silly young bride due to her quirkiness, often calling her unworthy and worthless.

Even after the birth of her two daughters, Elisabeth was unable to feel secure in her position. Her mother-in-law made it clear Elisabeth could be replaced and discarded due to the lack of a male heir. Fortunately, her next child was a son.

A few years back, TCM featured a European made 1950’s movie & sequel about the life of Elisabeth of Bavaria. I didn’t mind the captions/subtitles one bit. I recorded both and watched them on Christmas Day. It felt like a Christmas gift to myself. I enjoyed both although they played out like Disney films.

Recently PBS Passport ran a scripted series based on Elisabeth’s life, also with captions/subtitles. This one was more adult and interesting.

And early in this Christmas season I watched another more recent European movie about Elisabeth. -- Whether in Hollywood or Europe, lots of creative licenses were taken and facts distorted.

I’ve often wondered if these famous people from history are watching from another dimension and thinking: This is so embarrassing if I wasn’t already dead, I’d die! -- Or perhaps they’d be flattered to still be remembered.

For some reason, historical figures have always seemed more real to me than Hollywood celebrities, with a few exceptions.

In many ways, Empress Elisabeth compares to Princess Diana. Both were taller than average and independent spirits who didn’t care for royal protocol. Both were vain and style conscious. Elisabeth in her youth was considered the most beautiful woman in Europe.

Also, both were noted for their kindness and generosity, treating everyone as equals. They were heavily into more than just token charity work. Both actively used their positions to create a better world.

When traveling with their regal husbands both women easily upstaged and outshone them! Later they become estranged from their husbands, and free to enjoy separate lives.

As with Princess Di, the Empress suffered the paparazzi, gossip, and unwanted publicity leading to her death. We already know the details of Diana’s demise.

In Elisabeth’s case, she happened to be visiting Geneva, Switzerland traveling incognito. This was leaked to a newspaper along with the name of her hotel. An anarchist hellbent on assassinating a sovereign got wind of this and stalked her.

The Empress was stabbed in the heart with a sharpened file, murdered at age 60.

You can have Liz Taylor and her movies, marriages, & affairs. To me, Elisabeth of Bavaria is a far more intriguing personality.

THE ENEMY WITHIN

 

I am left with a deep sense of sadness, depression, and anger toward my fellow Americans by the electrician results. Apparently, these fools have learned nothing from history, nor have they been paying attention.

The orange pig and first whore will again be occupying the White House!

January 6 should have been the end of Trump. This traitorous scum tried to overthrow our government! Plus, he is a convicted felon and a skilled con man.

Yes, there is an enemy within, and this person will be our next president! The man who admires dictators.

Trump had only a concept of a plan! He was out fundraised, out spent, and out volunteered. Something stinks here! And I mean besides this big orange blob of human excrement. Kamala was ahead in the polls. And this time around I didn’t see the waves of Trump flags in my neighborhood or elsewhere, nor did any of his supporters come knocking on my door as before.

Did Trump actually win? Or could he have cheated with the help of his fellow MAGATs along with Russia? Cheating and lying are as natural as breathing to Trump! -- This calls for further investigation!!!

I don’t foresee a Golden Age for America, but a coming Dark Age. All of those in Trump’s inner circle ooze slime same as him. Plus, only loyalty matters to Trump. He has no use for anyone more knowledgeable than he is, and this man is unhinged.

V.P. Vance is a loathsome opportunist just as the rest of those sycophants licking Traitor Trump’s ugly ass.

His crony, and other grown-up affluenza brat Elon Musk, has warned us to brace for coming hardships, but according to him, these will only be temporary. – I wouldn’t bet on that! Keeping the citizenry poor and ignorant is a proven way to control them. No wonder Trump says he loves stupid people, they gave him back the White House.

Biden and Harris have stated we should accept the election results. I say, why should we? – They didn’t!!! Both seem to be forgetting who we are dealing with here and what is at stake. – And I’m a registered Republican.

Don’t roll over and accept this! Speak out and become a sword in their side every step of the way!

Joe Biden was handed a gift! He should be cranking out Executive Orders from now until 1-20-25!

And remember, dictatorships can be overthrown, same as democracies.

CAT-SITTING LITTLE BITEY

 

First and foremost, I’m an animal lover. If I ran the world I’d give them the right to vote.

Animals all have individual personalities, proclivities, and levels of intelligence just as people. And I feel that if a person can afford it, they should own a cat and a dog, to give both a home.

This was my second cat-sitting job. The first, was back in the 1990’s during the Democratic convention when Bill Clinton was nominated. The cat, Tinky-Poo was an older one, who lived across the street. Her family paid me $100 to stay in their home while they were away to keep Tinky company.

I was given the choice of bedrooms, I chose the one with the waterbed since I’d never slept on one before and I wanted the experience. Often, I’d wake up to find Tinky in bed with me. I was told later she’d never jumped on that bed before.

When the couple returned, Tinky came to me and ignored them. I loved that cat; she was a sweetheart!

Fast-forward to 2024, now I was Molly’s cat-sitter. Earnest Hemingway famously stated that cats should be given names with a dominant S sound. But it seems I’m the only one who has ever taken this great man’s advice.

Molly is only ten months old and lives right next door. I was given full access to the house including their pool & movie channels; creature comforts I don’t have and can’t afford. Now for a week they were mine to enjoy!

Besides feeding and cleaning the litter box, interaction is an important part of the job, along with keeping the cat happy.

Molly was feisty and a biter!  Every time I’d pet her, she’d grab my arm and start biting it along with my hand! I ended up with bloody punctures in both. In fact, my neighbor showed me the medicine cabinet where I could find iodine & bandages in the event Molly got carried away.

My nickname for Molly was The Brat Cat!

I recall in the past our neighbor Trudi went to the Emergency Room when my Tasha drew blood on her. However, this was the neighbor’s fault! Apparently, she didn’t know that you never touch a cat’s belly, it’s a forbidden zone!

And I myself was injured worse by a neighbor’s cat a few years before that. I was walking home late one afternoon from my job in town when a white & orange cat emerged from a house. Meowing, it ran out to the street to greet me, rubbing up against my legs. I stooped and began petting it. The cat was purring.

Suddenly without warning, it bit me hard in the ankle! I screamed and then it clawed me in the calve! I walked the rest of the way home with a bloody ankle & calve.

Reaching home, I cleaned the wound and treated it with mercurochrome. – No Emergency Room necessary! The hospital was just a block away too! My wound healed just fine without a doctor.

The next day, that same creature came running out to greet me. This time, I hollered, “You stay away from me!” and quickened my pace.

During my recent cat-sitting job I was on medication for a swollen foot & ankle. My left heel felt as if hot, broken glass was under the skin. As I napped in their recliner this foot was hanging over, suddenly I was awakened by sharp teeth sinking into that heel!

I told Molly “How would you like it if I bit you? My mouth is bigger and I could take that ear off with one bite!” She looked at me as if to say, Who do you think you are, telling ME what to do!

However, Molly had her affectionate side, or perhaps she was using me as furniture, but sometimes she’d sleep atop me in the recliner. Also, she’d sit on my lap and we’d watch movies together.

Usually, she was within sight. When she wasn’t, I worried and went looking for her. All of a sudden she’d spring out of nowhere and grab the back of my leg and biting it!

She reminded me of a teething puppy. Molly also drank out of the toilet just like a dog, only she’d balance on the seat to do it. -- And she had fresh bowls of water stationed in almost every room!

When I arrived, or left, she was always right by the door. Since Molly is an indoor cat, I fretted about her getting out. – I had a dog that if the door was open a crack would seize this opportunity! And once out was hard to catch!

But I have pleasant memories from this job.

Although I must admit after my expensive ordeal with skin cancer, a pool held less appeal for me. However, I got around this issue. I’m an early riser, so at 5:00 AM, before breakfast, I sometimes took a swim. Since the pool area was landscaped for privacy (and beautifully so) there was no need for a swimsuit.

It was still dark at that hour, and I enjoyed swimming & floating on my back gazing up at the stars. It’s a wonderful memory I will always treasure.

What was supposed to be my last day came news that a major hurricane was on track to hit us. Because of this, the owner’s flight was cancelled, they experienced an ordeal returning!

The next day this would have been impossible until after the hurricane; meaning bitey & me would have been weathering the storm together. Thankfully this wasn’t the case.

ASHES TO DUST

 

You know you’re old when you start receiving invitations to cremation/funeral luncheons. The lunches are free, but you must sit thru a long sales pitch first.

I attended one around Halloween of last year along with my friend Sue. I wore what could have passed for a witch’s costume had I included my big black hat with the feathers. But I left that at home.

The following summer there was another one at the same place -- but for first time attendees only! And restaurants have become so expensive eating out is a rarity now.

I signed Sue & me up and crossed my fingers. I told Sue if they turned us away, we’d just drive to the Asian buffet up the street. I asked Sue if she remembered what she wore and to dramatically change her look.

This would be easy for me! I have wigs in a variety of colors, although it was summer and this is Florida. So instead of a wig I had my then tit-length hair cut really short. Also I wore bright colors this time.

Fortunately, we had a different speaker which was a big relief!

The previous speaker kept mentioning he was a retired male model. I thought he was joking! But he was serious. He sure didn't look like model material to me!

Both times we sat thru a 90 minute speech before lunch was served. Thank goodness there was no question & answer session as with the Neptune Society years before or it would have been 2 hours before any food.

The speeches consisted of much tugging at the heart strings. Stressing that this matter needed to be taken care of immediately or your grieving loved ones would be soaked by some cagey undertaker. Plus, we had to purchase this service right now since the price would be going up tomorrow! – That’s always a big red flag to me!

The cost was already in the thousands! And if you have a pacemaker or any other metal object it must be removed (at cost to you) because those cause the cremation ovens to explode. And there's another exorbitant cost for disposal of medical waste.

Later I mentioned this to a friend who is knowledgeable about cremations. She said the guy was full of it and laughed at the exploding ovens since corpses aren't microwaved! Any metal objects are removed from the ashes and discarded without issue. Also you can have a cremation done today for $350.

At the luncheon last summer, we were told that by purchasing the premium package they would not only remove the body but also launder your sheets, make the bed and place a rose on the pillow.

I will probably be a rotting corpse fused to my recliner. The only time my neighbors know I'm alive is when HOA fees are collected and those have tripled since the pandemic.

My father was cremated for $100 the same amount as my 18 year old dog a year later. The company that cremated my dog sent me a sympathy card. The one that cremated my dad did not. However I realize these were 2001 and 2002 prices.

I plan to have my ashes sent to my longtime friend Rose. She can make them into a piece of jewelry or turn me into a paperweight, whatever. Or she can scatter them in Timbuktu or Uganda as long as it's someplace I've never been, since I enjoy traveling to new places.

I've already made it clear to my financial adviser that when my time comes, I want it done as quickly and inexpensively as possible. I don't need a monument to myself in some cemetery.

I just hope that when I go, I'll have someone lined-up to remove me from Facebook. I don't want to be resurrected by a hacker as was a close friend of mine.

UGH!!! NOOOOOO!!!

 

A monster hurricane suddenly formed in the Gulf and was heading straight toward us with only days’ notice.

Two weeks before I’d had a particularly hectic day, so a childhood favorite seemed perfect for supper that night. I picked up a can of Campbell’s Tomato Brisque. Along with it I made a toasted cheese sandwich and prepared a salad.

With my first spoonful of soup all I could taste was SALT!!! It was as if someone poured an entire shaker in! It tasted downright gaggy! In retrospect, I should have poured it down the sink. But I was hungry, plus I have an aversion to wasting food.

Perhaps it’s just coincidence or maybe a pre-existing condition was aggravated, but the next day I noticed my right foot & ankle was swollen and my left one was tingling up into the calve.

I had one Frankenstein foot. And worse, this wasn’t going away! Plus the heel of my right foot felt as if it had hot broken glass under the skin.

How could I ever wear shoes? The right one would never fit! And if I struggled to force it, I’d be limping in agony!

This brought back vivid memories.

During my trip to Ecuador, I endured TWO Frankenstein feet up in the Andes. Those flat-heeled walking shoes I bought that were perfect for a day at the mall were murder to my feet on those cobble stone streets.

Over in the Galapagos Islands I purchased an oversized pair of flip-flops that allowed me to explore with more comfort. I ended up wearing these on the plane ride home. And I felt self-conscious about it.

Later on my trip to Thailand, I was horrified when my feet & ankles swelled on the plane before even landing in Bangkok. And this time I’d purchased better walking shoes, too! The sides of these shoes were bulging just like in Ecuador. I was in torturous pain!

Half-way thru my tour of Thailand, both my calves swelled as well. I could no longer recognize my own legs in the mirror!

Once on the plane I went barefoot until it landed. This was back in 2016.

Fast-forward to October 2024. A doctor put me on medication and I was forbidden to eat anything from a can, bag, or box for 5 days. Plus, I had to drink so much water I felt waterlogged. Half that time I was cat-sitting. The medication made me tired and loopy. I was thankful to get off it.

The last day of my cat-sitting stint the hurricane was all over the news warning everyone here on the Treasure Coast to prepare. This was a backdoor one and I wasn’t sure if it was going to land as a full-fledged hurricane or a nasty tropical storm.

FPL sent emails stating to expect a prolonged outage. That meant I’d be living on canned food which was forbidden to me just the week before. And the thought of throwing away all that expensive food in my fridge & freezer made me ill, so I started eating frozen dinners for breakfast and dinner.

My right foot & ankle began swelling again.

The afternoon before the hurricane was wild! Record tornadoes were striking all over South Florida! These were not Florida tornadoes, but giant ones like in Kansas that took Dorothy to Oz!

The one that came thru here was worse than the hurricane! I’ve had plenty of experience with hurricanes, but none with tornadoes!

It was followed by torrential rain. The street in front of my house became a canal. By 8:00 AM the following day the hurricane had passed and thankfully I still had electricity.

Every yard in my neighborhood looked like a disaster area. But it could have been much worse, I am so grateful it wasn’t. I can live with a swollen foot & ankle.

DEMENTIA & PRESIDENTS, OTHERS TOO

 

If Joe Biden has dementia/Alzheimer’s and I’m not saying he has, he wouldn’t be the first President. Republican Ronald Reagan had this mental disorder for fact!

I vividly recall his pathetic and cringe worthy performance in a debate right before his second term. Yet, people voted for him anyway! And it was said his entire second term Nancy Reagan was the actual President of the United States.

Based solely on my observation along with his history, Donald Trump has multiple mental disorders, and dementia may very well be one of them. This man should be nowhere near the White House!

Dementia/Alzheimer’s is not something that happens overnight, it’s a gradual process. There are lucid days when the person seems perfectly normal. These days become fewer and rarer as time passes.

I lost my two best friends in the world to this. It happened around the end of the double zero decade. And in 2022, two of my three remaining cousins died from it as well.

Long before that, my stepmother also had this mental disorder. And worse, my father was in denial and constantly made excuses for her!

My father had many good qualities, one of his worst was that he didn’t like dealing with problems. Therefore, nothing was ever a problem. He seemed to feel they’d disappear if he just ignored them.

However, this was rarely the case!

He was forced to wake up when she put a metal pan in the microwave. Her behavior was constantly becoming more bizarre.

I told him something needed to be done! He insisted it was up to her doctor! I pointed out her doctor didn’t live with her and was clueless.

So, Dad contacted her sister for help. The sister stated my father was her husband and she threw the problem back in his lap!

Step-mommy moved out and got a condo claiming I was the villain in all this!

Before long, her condo neighbors were complaining of her odd behavior. Eventually she was arrested for standing topless on her balcony. She stood before oncoming traffic as well as other condos. And she was stinking drunk, too.

Stepmom was sent to the hospital for observation, and then to another for diagnosis and treatment, and later to a home. The first, she was thrown out due to damages she caused, plus frightening other patients. The second one, she climbed a wall and escaped, but didn’t know where to go.

But thankfully, by this time, she’d been permanently removed from our lives!

SUMMER'S END

 

If happiness had a fragrance it would smell like popcorn. All the fun places sell it! Just a vague scent lifts the spirit bringing back wonderful memories of summers past.

For me, this summer has been busy, stressful, and costly! In this winter of my years, I prefer my summers uneventful, indoors and with air-conditioning.

An evening with popcorn plus a riveting movie feels like heaven to me. Unfortunately, this was far and few between over the summer, especially the latter.

I’m ready to OD on crime and court shows! Since I wasn’t into the Olympics that’s about all I found interesting that wasn’t a re-run.

However, during the day, I worked on my new novel. All of them would make entertaining movies, far more than many I’ve seen! And creating these gets my juices flowing, excites me and gives me something to look forward to.

And like movies, they take my mind off the fact I’m old, poor, and my health is declining.

Not to mention a crematorium is getting closer with every tick of the clock! I just hope I’m one hundred per cent dead when I’m thrown in the oven. – I’ve read of corpses coming back to life on the embalming table.

And corpses are not embalmed for cremation.

Perhaps I should state in my will that I want an icepick to the brain beforehand. And the morticians to throw popcorn into the oven along with me. That way at least I can enjoy the aroma while my life is flashing before me, or while I’m going into the light.

I’ve read that corpses of older people burn-up quicker than the young, and women faster than men.

There are days I feel as if I died tomorrow it would be a blessing. Life has just become way too complicated and expensive!

However, there’s the issue of an afterlife. – I don’t want one! I hope this is the end, period. The last thing I want is to be reunited with my dead relatives. And I tend to believe something happens to us after death. I’ve experienced ghosts and other weird phenomena I’ve only touched on in my blog.

Also, I believe in reincarnation since I’ve seen flashes of previous lives under autohypnosis. But I’m hoping these were just brain glitches. I don’t want another go-round on this planet.

Summer may be ending soon, but hurricane season is not! In fact, it’s ramping up! Due to climate change it lasts thru November now.

Plus, there’s the upcoming election! Right now, all I want is for hurricane season to be over and Donald Trump gone!

THIS CENTURY SUCKS

 

My old computer was unable to update and my printer broke years ago. Both needed replacing. So I went to Best Buy; an even more expensive undertaking than I was expecting, but I had no choice.

Three different techs arrived at my house to set everything up. However, only the computer set-up turned out to be free. I had to pay extra for the printer. Plus now I had to subscribe and pay an ongoing fee for WORD. Without this, I would be unable to access my manuscripts or blog work – this was free on my old computer!

Also I subscribed to the protection plan at least for the first two years since I’m not a tech person and things have a way of going wrong!

One tech set-up my Chromecast since I planned to switch to steaming. My cable bill is crazy high even with my special promotion that expires around Christmas. And I don’t even get movie channels anymore which I miss!

To my disappointment I was told that a smartphone is required for streaming, (excuse my grammar) I don’t got and don’t’ want!

I prefer my landline. It has a comfortable ear & mouthpiece, plus a cord. The latter I’m told is too confining and you’re stuck in one place. – Tell me, why is it necessary to walk around when you’re on a phone? Unless I’m sitting at my deck getting instructions for one of these devices I’m not on that long.

And I hate cellphones! They’re dinky and expensive! Many have asked me when I’m going to join the 21^st century. My response is that I don’t like the 21^st century!

Best Buy told me to call ATT and have my router updated. The router was free, but the installation was not! A hundred-dollar fee was added to my ATT bill immediately. Earlier that AM I noticed my bill had already risen before this charge!

Later when the ATT tech arrived, I was informed my router didn’t need updating! His hundred-dollar visit was unnecessary! However the man was pleasant and helpful. He sat down and fixed the bugs in my new computer. These had me clawing my brain almost tearing my hair out.

Also he took my old computer & printer that BB left on my floor for me to figure out how to dispose.

Plus, he looked over my TV & Chromecast. I asked if he could make that white line which suddenly appeared at the bottom of my screen disappear. Sadly I was informed that my TV was starting to go.

He agreed with Best Buy that I needed a smartphone to stream. Also I needed a special attachment from ATT that cost ten dollars per month! – BB never mentioned this!

I was told by both ATT & BB that I’m better off sticking with cable due to my lack of tech skills along with the fact I can’t afford commercial-free streaming. I’m used to fast-forwarding thru them.

I’ve watched three-hour movies reduced to almost a mere hour with the commercials gone. That’s an hour of my life! And at my age I don’t have that many left on this planet!

But I’m nearly at the end of my rope with ATT and Comcast was such a pain I was glad to be rid of it. Now I’m paying a lot more for far less!

I consulted with a knowledgeable lady named Robin who insisted I don’t need a smartphone to stream, but I may have to ditch my Chromecast and replace it with Firestick.

And I talked to my friend Rose who now lives in another city. She said all I need to stream is a smart TV and a Roku.

I really HATE the 21^st century!!!

THAT NIGHT IN JULY

 

The time was around 9:30 PM and I was nodding off to sleep. I go to bed early since I get up at 5:30 AM due to fractured sleep. Suddenly I was jarred awake by a cacophony of loud noises outside!

Looking out my kitchen window I could tell it was coming from my air conditioner. I raced outdoors! The outside unit was literally shaking back & forth along with the racket. All of a sudden it stopped.

I walked over and noticed a strange object hanging out. I tried to pick it up, but the thing was gooey & slimy. I went back inside to wash my hand and get a flashlight.

The thing turned out to be a ribboned garter snake. That's when the ick factor kicked in!

But now I was hit with a big worry; did this thing break or damage my air conditioner. It was fairly new and only a year old. The middle of summer in Florida is no time to be without air conditioning. Fortunately it came back on with no issues.

In broad daylight the following morning I scrapped the snake off and out. I noticed its markings; it must have been quite pretty when alive. I felt sad, no creature deserved to die such a death as that one.

However had it damaged my unit and cost me a big repair bill I would have been cursing that thing up and down!

THE FILTHY UNMENTIONABLE

 

I try to hold my blog to a certain standard although sometimes I backslide. However on the plus side many of my readers will learn a new vocabulary word; albeit one they might have been happy never knowing. The word is COPROPHAGIA.

To be blunt it means eating poop! Nearly every dog I've ever owned did this. Although there was absolutely no reason for it since all were well fed. They did this because they enjoyed it! My last one was the worst offender of all. Her name was Coco and she lived to be 18.

In my previous neighborhood few people actually walked their dogs or picked up after them. They just turned them loose to do their duty on other's property. We all owned large lots so no one complained. And to Coco this meant a buffet!

I was always making up jokes such as:

What does Coco like to eat on a cold winter day?  ------  Campbell's Chicken Poop!

Who are Coco's favorite matinee idols? ------  Victor Manure & Gary Pooper!

What are Coco's favorite movie snacks:  ------- Poop Corn, Tootsie Poops, & Poopsi Cola!

"Who are Coco's favorite African American celebrities? -------  Spike Pee & Poopy Goldberg!

I came up with thousands of these but I'll spare you!

Constantly I was racing to the cat's litter box before Coco got there. She seemed to consider cat poop a delicacy comparable to a rare imported chocolate for humans.

After coming inside she'd make a beeline to the litter box and root thru it. Finding nothing she'd run to the cat and shove her behind as if to say, "Get in that box and make me a snack!"

Not long ago I was telling my friend Rose that if we could come up with a dog treat that tasted like poop we'd be instant millionaires! I even had a name for these, "POOZ" along with a TV commercial ideas.

I imagined the camera zeroing in on an upscale pair of designer shoes. A manicured hand emerges to feed 2 sharpies. An elegant lady leans over and smiles into the camera and says. "I don't mind Pooz on my shoes. You'll never smell any pews from these Pooz!"

We could even appear on Shark Tank wearing poop beanies with our Pooz T-shirts. On the front would be a photo of a dog declaring, "Heed my clues I choose Pooz!"

Also I came up with a slogan, too. "As you relax with your booze treat your dog to a Pooz!"

I could picture billboards all over the country featuring packs of dogs hollowing, "We choose Pooz!"

Our target shark and focus would be Robert Herjavec because he's a dog lover. Although I can just hear Kevin say, "Crush these dung beetles!" 

My friend Rose pointed out that it's humans who buy the treats and likely would be repulsed. Sadly for my idea dogs don't grocery shop.

MORE FACEBOOK WEIRDNESS & SKULLDUGGERY

 

I enjoy Facebook, however there are aspects to it I absolutely HATE! For one thing it's rife with rats: romantic scammers, hackers, plus those strangers you don't know from a hole in the ground who seem to feel it's their god given duty to denigrate you.

Online you must constantly be on your toes, period!

Recently an older (someone I'm inclined to trust) Facebook friend messaged. She wanted me to change my settings so she could post on my Timeline same as I was doing on hers. -- But I was NOT posting on hers!

 Red flags immediately went up!

I comment, but never post on another's page unless it's their birthday. The only exception is with close friends I know outside Facebook. -- This lady was NOT one of those!

However she kept insisting I did and even described them and said we were commenting on these back and forth; all were memes I had recently posted on my page only! I immediately went to her Timeline and didn't see any of what she was claiming!

In fact, it looked as if there were no new posts for at least a month.

I wrote on her page I suspected she'd been hacked and someone pretending to be her was messaging me. The following day she wrote beneath it that indeed it was her who was messaging.

Again she asked me to change my settings for her. I wanted to scream: "I don't want you posting anything on my page crazy person!" I was tempted to inquire if she had a history of dementia in her family.

The following day she claimed I posted on her Timeline again and described it; something I'd just posted on MY page, ONLY! Immediately I went to her Timeline and it was NOT there also NO NEW posts!

I told her one of us must have been hacked and to hire a pro to get to the bottom of it and to stop bothering me!

Now I was panicking that I was the one who'd been hacked! I posted on Facebook to warn others. Within a split second of my posting some woman (a non-friend) claimed she was recently hacked and gave me the name of someone guaranteed to fix it quickly.

I went to this woman's Timeline and it couldn't have been vaguer. It made me wonder if she was the actual person behind this. Immediately I blocked her along with the elderly Facebook friend!

Reading my post a local friend stated that he recently received a request from our mutual friend Irene. We both knew it couldn't possibly be her! Had I received this request I would have been tempted to ask "When did you return from the dead and what was it like on the other side?"

Unfortunately Facebook is a Criminal's paradise!

FAN FARE

 

First, most important of all I should consider myself fortunate that I wasn't injured. I arose early that morning in darkness and spotted something on the carpet that shouldn't be there. I switched on a light and discovered it was wooden paddle from my living room fan.

The evening before I thought the fan was making an unusual amount of noise. But I was engrossed in a movie, plus I watch TV in the dark. So I didn't investigate.

However just before going to bed I'd walked under that fan to close my blinds. I was sleepy and didn't look up or around.

After discovering the paddle I noticed from my loft that a nail was coming loose at the ceiling as well. I could have been killed!

I have a 30 ft cathedral ceiling at its height but where the fan is located its 20 ft attached to a 6 ft rod.

My financial advisor gave me the name of an electrician to come and fix/replace it. The man told me the rod could remain and be renailed but the wooden paddle was unfixable. The fan needed replacing.

I inquired if he could get me one and I'd pay for his time. He replied that he'd done this dance before with other customers who were left unhappy with his choice. So the problem was thrown back in my lap!

He measured the fan and sent me out to find a replacement that would fit the rod. I went to both Home Depot & Lowe's. I learned the fan was an off size and a discontinued brand. Plus none (at either store) would fit the rod or the match the decor of my house. Now I was truly frustrated!

However in town was a fan shop. But after the back-to-back hurricanes of 2004 I had such a negative experience I swore never to do business with them. But as time passed it was getting hotter and I relented.

I bought the cheapest fan there; one that stood out from the rest. It went perfectly with the color scheme of my home. The wooden paddles were wide and frond shaped. The fan looked exotic like something you'd see in Shanghai or Bombay.

And I bought a new rod. I was given the name of an electrician to install it. I was informed he might need to rent a scaffold due to my high ceiling which would add to the cost.

I phoned the electrician and left my info on his answering machine. Time was passing and I wasn't receiving a call back. So I contacted the store and told them I wanted to find my own electrician since this one wasn't interested in my business.

Almost immediately the electrician called and then came over to measure. Thankfully he didn't need to rent a scaffold.

My friend Irene (now deceased) was from the UK and used to say that my home with its big stone fireplace, loft, and cathedral ceiling reminded her of an English country house. I imagined anyone residing in one a kindred spirit; someone who had traveled to distant lands such as I have, with many foreign souvenirs as I do; along with taste that reflects this.

My new fan fits both me and my home to perfection!  

THE STORM & THE AFTERMATH

 

This storm was unnerving to say the least. My house is wood and it felt as if it was being pummeled by rocks ready to come crashing thru my roof any second! Yet it was only hail. The time was late afternoon.

This was the second hail storm I've experienced in this house since moving here in 1999. The first happened around 18 years ago and took place late in the evening. -- That one was truly frightening! The following day neighbor's cars outside were found dented.

At least this one was a daylight storm.

Slowly it ended as the sun was beginning to shine thru again. I looked out my wide bay window and couldn't believe my eyes! A small but vivid rainbow stretched across the length of my back yard. (And no, there was no pot of gold anywhere.) I stopped to stare in astonishment. I'd never seen anything like it!

I stepped away for a few seconds to pour myself a glass of water. When I looked back it was gone, vanished. I know there has to be a scientific explanation for this; but still it felt magical to me.

THE PHONE: AN INSTRUMENT OF TORTURE

 

I must admit that as a low tech senior I love emails! They don't make noise and I can reply at my convenience. The only sound more annoying than a ringing telephone is an alarm clock.

All I have is a landline which is all I need. And 99 per cent of the time I don't answer it. Or if I do I scream "No!" into the receiver and hang up. Or sometimes I speak in a made-up language for fun.

This fits my lifestyle best since I'm home most of the time. And when I do go out it's usually close by. A Publix supermarket is just around the corner and a Winn Dixie is only a few blocks down the road from there.

I hate cellphones! They're dinky and seem more like a children's toy.

Thankfully my friends all email or message me on Facebook.

Back during the double zero decade this was not the case. And the answering machine we brought up from Stuart in 1999 refused to work in this house. Back then most of my friends didn't even own answering machines so I didn't rush to replace it.

Also during this time telemarketers had yet to hit full stride so there weren't as many nuisance calls as now waking me from my naps.

My main caller was my Aunt Kiki up north. She'd been forced into a retirement home since she could no longer afford to live in her beautiful house. -- A problem I fear I'll soon be facing!

Kiki hated the home and during the evenings she was bored. So she was constantly calling me! -- I'm the opposite type and I consider evenings my private time to enjoy movies as well as my TV programs.

Repeatedly I told her NOT to phone me after dark since I was home all day. Well she ignored me! So I just ignored her calls. However she kept calling until I picked up the phone. This drove me straight up the walls!

Then I'd tell her I was in the middle of a something I enjoyed and she'd holler, "What could you possibly be watching? There's nothing good on TV!"

I'd always agree to call her back before bedtime when I was sleepy. This was draining! She seldom had anything beyond complaints about her situation and rarely asked about my day. Plus her frequent evening calls continued.

My friend Margaret advised me to start taking my phone off the hook. So I began doing this right after dark.

At the time I still had dial-up computer. This tied up my phone although I rarely used it at night and still don't. But this was the perfect excuse I gave my aunt to her frustration. And she complained to her nephew, my cousin Clarence.

He laughed and told her, "She probably takes her phone off the hook. Dianne really hates people calling at night."

This is just one example of a long list why I dislike telephones.

I've already blogged about the ex-boyfriend who phoned me three to four times a day and into the evening. And worse, he would drive over if I failed to answer. I felt suffocated! A tremendous sense of relief was mine when that relationship ended.

I'll admit I do miss Aunt Kiki who died later in the decade, but I NOT those calls!

Despite all the spoofers, scammers, and spammers I'm grateful for emails.

MORE DOLLARS & LESS SENSE

 

As a preschooler it was a special treat when my dad or grandpa took me to the Ten Cent Store. I was allowed to get whatever I wanted. However by the time I entered first grade the Ten Cent Store was history.

Later I fell in love with Dollar Stores! I was amazed at all the wonderful and useful things available for just a mere dollar. Unfortunately Dollar Stores are going the way of the pterodactyl much the same as the Ten Cent Stores of my childhood. To me, this is a cause of major grief as well as frustration.

Being a senior on a fixed income they've saved me tremendously! Nearly every item I bought from a drug store I'd purchase there instead; items such as cosmetics, hair products, & toothpaste.

Many had foreign writing on them, but so what, I'm a woman of the world! Plus I've found the best deodorants to be Dollar Store cologne. You know, the cheap knock-offs of the over-priced brands. I think they're wonderful! I feel undressed if I'm not wearing a fragrance.

And the dollar laundry detergent with the cheesy name of L.A.'S Totally Awesome worked every bit as well as the name brand ones. -- Sadly the bottle has now shrunk significantly.

Also I bought food there. I enjoyed sitting down to my Dollar Store individual frozen pizza. It was quite tasty after I added black olives & goat cheese. And for dessert I enjoyed their blue & pink cotton candy colored ice cream which was probably packed with sugar. But were perfect for my cheat on healthy diet days!

But alas, my one dollar days are over. The Dollar Trees now are similar to General and Family Dollar which I also frequent.

Five Dollar & Under stores have emerged. The one here in my town is not close; plus I hate self-check outs (which are the only available) so I rarely go there.

Another sign of the times is that Thrift Shops now charge more for clothes and other articles than what I used to pay for new at Sears and J.C. Penny's during the 1970's. Needless to say, my days of recreational shopping there are over just as with Dollar Stores.

Of course I know everyone is already aware of skyrocketing prices. I'm just venting!

THE BREACH

 

At first the email seemed innocuous enough. Supposedly it was from my friend Rose who moved to another Florida city a few years back. However we continue to keep in touch.

I was instructed to click on a link which I was told was self-explanatory. As I began I noticed the email looked off. Suddenly I stopped and looked closer. This was NOT Rose!

Fake Rose emails kept arriving! Saying things such as "Do you remember the two ladies in these photos?" Click the link below. -- Of course I didn't!

Often when I went to my inbox I noticed a number of new emails from the real Rose had already been opened, -- ones I hadn't read yet!

I told Rose I thought a third party was reading our emails. I could tell she thought I was paranoid.

"My emails would bore another reader!" she kept telling me.

We don't exchange nuclear secrets, but that's not the reason for this, it's to trick me into clicking a dangerous link granting further access to a scammer. Always I sent these straight to spam!

For awhile, they stopped and Rose went on a trip to Hawaii.

I've never been to Hawaii. (I'm the only one I know who hasn't and I've been a whole lot of places too.) So after Rose's return I mentioned that I was excited to see her photos.

Well the very next day I received an email from fake Rose stating, "Oh Dianne I've lots of photos from last week & the weekend to show you!" -- All that was required of me was to click a link to view; which I didn't!

Late on the eve of Easter I went to my inbox. There I found notification of a breach from ATT, my passcode had been compromised. -- Proof I wasn't paranoid!

Easter morning I phoned ATT. I knew I'd be speaking with India since Easter is not celebrated there. I explained to the man that I am a senior and lacked the skills to change my passcode online.

The man spoke English well. He was patient and polite to this old lady who barely knows beans about technology. -- Not everyone is when calling 800 numbers concerning computer issues! Many have gotten short with me and I've been snapped at. What they don't seem to understand is that it's equally as frustrating for me.

My passcode was changed. Afterward I made other changes including putting Fraud Alerts on everything!

Less than a week later I received a letter from TransUnion informing me they were unable to locate my credit report! I own a home & car pay insurance & taxes, have several credit cards & a passport. Yet according to them I didn't exist!

I went online and found my credit report immediately!

Then I looked at the letter again. It had a P.O. return address. Wouldn't you think the place would have a brick and mortar one? Also it had an 800 phone number. My financial advisor told me not to call that one, but to look online. And sure enough I found a different 800 to call.

After two repeated calls with long menu go-rounds I was finally squared away.

Now I was getting a flurry of calls from unknowns which normally I don't pick-up. However I was expecting a call from an electrician. My answering machine is upstairs and I was downstairs.

Someone on the other end of the line wanted to turn my last novel The House of Sin and Splendor into a movie -- but I was expected to pay for it!!! I told the guy he must have me confused with the billion dollar lottery winner and hung up.

I'm a senior citizen struggling more than ever to get by on a fixed income. However there's plenty of human scum out there who would steal my last two dimes without compunction!

My friend Rose fearing I'd click a wrong link snail-mailed her photos to me. When I reached inside my mailbox many of them fell lose in my hand. Unbelievable! The envelope had been slashed open!

Geez, crooks are everywhere.

GOLDEN BERRIES & ROTTEN PEOPLE

 

Online when I saw photos of Walmart shoppers my jaw dropped and then I burst out laughing. Every two months now I do a major shopping there. Most of the people are nice and just regular folks, not the freaks or low-class types portrayed online. I’ve even run into friends & numerous acquaintances there. But every now and then I encounter someone who makes me wish I had the power to snap my fingers and make them go up in flames! Upon one trip was such a person.

I try to arrive early as possible to increase my chances of finding a close parking space.

However upon exiting often two drivers in opposite directions are starring each other down waiting to grab my space. This always puts pressure on me! I feel hurried and I like to take my time. Sometimes I deliberately slow my pace just to frustrate them and make them go away.

However once the season starts and the tourists & snowbirds flock down, or I get a late start I'm often forced to park way out in Siberia. Although a lengthy walk, Siberia has advantages; no crowd, bustle, or traffic jam, plus the spaces are wider. However, I feel less safe. I’ve been approached by panhandlers more than a few times.

After entering the store I turned into an aisle, my path was blocked. One side was a pillar with work equipment beside it and on the other was this frump-a-dump of a woman.

"Excuse me," I said.

 She turned, gave out a grunt, stepped to the side while waving me ahead. I smiled and thanked her.

 “Well you’re NOT welcome!” she snapped back.

I was stunned. “What's your problem? I was being nice,” I said. "Did you hear me complain?"

“You annoy me just standing there!” she replied with disdain.

Whenever someone behaves nastily toward you just consider the source. That's what my friend Pat used to tell me. Unfortunately there are plenty of low caliber human beings in this world. And it has nothing to do with education or income.

I suppose that woman should be pitied. Every day she has to wake up and look at that face and body in the mirror. And worse, she behaved exactly the way she looked. It's wasn't my fault she was fat and ugly!

Afterward I went to the fruit & vegetable aisle where I came upon something new. Between the peaches & tomatoes were GOLDEN BERRIES! I was intrigued, were these vegetables or fruit? Technically, tomatoes are fruit, even if they taste like vegetables. However, to my mind, fruit is sweet, or should be! Out of curiosity, I tossed them into my cart.

Later I looked them up online. This fruit and its plant are commonly known as the Cape Gooseberry. Sometimes its used as a garnish in desserts. To me, the taste is like a cross between a tangerine & a tomato. Also they're low in calories and contain nutrients.

 But I doubt I'd buy them again unless they go on sale.

As I left Walmart and returned to my parking space out in Siberia, an elderly woman sat watching me from the car behind.

“You get a gold star for returning your cart to the bin!” she said with a smile.

I smiled back and gave her thumbs up!

Truthfully, I don’t always. If I’m in a hurry or it’s raining, I’ll just place it out of the way. -- One thing I never do is leave it in the middle of a parking space. And I give myself a gold star for that!

Despite the bitch in the detergent aisle, the rest of my day was golden!

CARDED

 

Hey I'm old school I love cards, sending is as much fun as receiving! I decorate the backs with colorful stickers and the front with commemorative stamps. Every holiday from Halloween thru Easter friends & relatives receive them. Not to mention birthdays, congrats, get well & thank you ones. Miss Manners would be proud!

And this year both St. Patrick's Day and Easter fall in March as well as my brother's birthday.

For years I bought boxes of various assortments in bulk at a discount from a stationery company. Later I bought them from Dollar Stores two for a dollar. Now they're a dollar each plus the price of postage has become obscene just like the price of everything else!

Once I mailed out a plethora of them! These days the majority of recipients are dead. Plus I don't get out enough anymore to acquire new friends. Facebook has become my social life, and Facebook friends are more like fleeting acquaintances.

Yes, digital cards & GIFs are fun. They can sparkle and dance. But I can't put those on the mantle over my fireplace to enjoy. And the thrill is gone of discovering them in a drawer years later and enjoying them all over again with memories.

Receiving a card in the mail somehow feels more special. Sadly, I fear that soon this practice will be as obsolete as the Model T automobile.

SERENDIPITY

 

Recently I discovered that I'm eligible for Irish citizenship along with a passport that allows me to live and work anywhere in the EU thanks to an Irish grandmother born in County Tipperary.

She was the grandmother I never knew. She died when my father was 7 years old. Afterward Dad and my grand pop went to live with my father's German born grandmother. So I am what was described in the Godfather movie as a Kraut-Mick combo with a little Limey (English) thrown in for good measure.

My first trip abroad was to Ireland in 1976. Among other places there I visited County Tipperary. I wondered if my grandmother's ghost was looking on. I've also been to Germany & England; perhaps even more ghosts were looking on.

In 2007 when I was in group therapy the lady next to me was from Ireland and traveled back and forth to visit family. I told her of my trip there in 1976.

"You'd never recognize it today!" she exclaimed. "It's been greatly modernized."

I almost said, "I certainly hope so!" Back when I was there in 76 they were still delivering milk by donkey cart even in Dublin.

Since Irish citizenship along with a passport would allow me to live anywhere in the EU I was thinking Portugal should I consider expatriating again. Perhaps it would grant me the affordable healthcare available in Europe that I will never have here.

I've been to Portugal, and the two things I remember most are that it was quite modern even then, plus it had the most delicious seafood dishes I've ever tasted.

Currently Portugal is popular with retirees from around the world. But I've read it's beginning to struggle under the volume of these. That's the problem with these places where seniors can live comfortably on a fixed income. They become popular suffocating the goose that lays the golden egg.

Ten years ago Ecuador, Thailand, & Mexico were on the list as the best places for retirees to move. Now none of them are!

I made exploratory trips to both Ecuador & Thailand six months apart last decade. Both proved too third world for me. And during the 1970's I made frequent trips to Mexico with family. Today Mexico is far too violent to even consider.

Perhaps getting an Irish passport is something I should check into further. Of course I'd prefer to remain here. Unfortunately if I'm forced to do any serious hospital time I may end up living in my car after being released!

THE TURDUCKEN CAKE

 

For those not in the know a turducken is a chicken served inside a duck within a turkey. This is a popular dinner choice around holidays. I've never actually had one since I lean toward vegetarianism. For Thanksgiving I had a plant based turkey loaf stuffed with kale & cranberries. It was actually quite delicious plus I had enough left over for two extra meals.

As a child I raised ducklings to adulthood. I can tell you for fact they all have individual personalities just like people. I have never eaten a duck in my entire life and I never will!

The cake to which I am referring is three desserts in one. The bottom layer is a fudge pie, the middle a blue sponge cake, & the top cheese cake. The entire concoction is frosted with buttercream. I purchased this at Walmart same as the veggie turkey loaf.

Smacking my lips together with anticipation I sliced a normal size cake piece for myself.

To my surprise I liked the fudge pie layer best. I'm a cake lover and have never cared much for pie. The cake & frosting were too sweet and I'm someone who loves sweet too. I used to state that it was an utter impossibility for a dessert to be too sweet for me.

It appears someone took that as a challenge!

This cake was so gaggy sweet I had a difficult time finishing it. The buttercream frosting tasted more like whipped cane sugar.

I found the only way I could ever eat another piece was to slice it razor thin. This cake will probably still be in my garage freezer for years to come.

A HILL TOO MANY

 

Ah Valentine's month! Romantic scammers were all over Facebook in January! When it comes to technology, even unsavvy seniors like me know the internet is rife with them.

All are full of fawning, flattering blather such as: "I was scrolling when suddenly I found myself fascinated by your page and posts, then I noticed your photo and was captivated by your beauty and that gorgeous smile. Instantly I felt I had to know this amazing woman. Several times I've tried sending you a friendship request but was unable. Please send me one so we can chat."

The majority claim to be in the military which makes it more convenient for them to lie.

Others claim that sending me a request without my permission would be rude, so that's why I must send them one instead. I have a strong feeling they are incarcerated and that's the actual reason. Scamming women online is how they probably get money for cigarettes, smuggled dope, etc.

However any woman with a functioning brain will catch on and block these scamming low-life leeches immediately!

One in particular I have blocked numerous times is Eric Hill. -- This may not even be his real name; it may be one he's stolen along with the profile pic. I've lost count of the number of times I've blocked him, yet he always comes back like a bad case of acne.

Besides Eric Hill, he's shown up as Eric T. Hill, Eric Todd Hill, & General Eric Hill -- If he actually IS a general than I'm Brad Pitt in drag! In his next Facebook incarnation he might be Field Marshall Eric Hill of the British Army.

Just recently he was back as Eric Hills.

I've filed a complaint about him with Facebook, but obviously nothing was ever done. Perhaps nothing can be done. These guys always seem to be one step ahead!

Not to mention I'm being contacted and frequently by others I've blocked numerous times as well! All of these lying, low-life, scamming scum do not give up. And I will continue to BLOCK! BLOCK!! BLOCK and BLOCK!!!

FAKE TEETH, BUT GENUINE SMILES

 

Often I receive complements on my beautiful smile. -- Well it should be nothing less than gorgeous for what it cost! I have 3 bridges, 2 implants, 7 crowns and counting.

At age 47 my teeth were straightened the old Hollywood way with crowns. All of them cracked within 5 years and needed to be replaced. The dentist who first placed them assured me they would last for 20 years and now he was gone! All were crazy expensive, not to mention an ordeal to replace.

My last birthday fell on a Monday. Friday morning I kicked off my birthday weekend declaring my healthy diet be damned. I began with walnut pancakes with lots of syrup. However one of those walnuts turned out to be a frontal crown. It's a miracle I didn't swallow it!

The open space in my teeth stuck out like a firecracker. I looked like Granny Yokum from Dogpatch! I called my dentist only to learn the office remained closed for the holidays and wouldn't be open until Tuesday. I phoned the emergency number and was informed this was not considered an emergency. I was told to buy Fixodent.

OK I thought I'll just make a quick trip to Walgreens and back keeping my mouth closed. But horror of horrors my car battery expired there stranding me! I don't own a cellphone.

The store manager assured me everything was going to be OK and to stop crying. A young clerk gave my car a jump. I drove directly to Eagle Automotive looking as I did. I was embarrassed as hell!

The owner there is wonderful. He not only replaced my battery but found a leak in my coolant and repaired it.

As to the Fixodent, now that I had it I was reluctant to use it. This was only a temporary fix and I couldn't risk swallowing that crown or having it go down the sink while brushing my teeth, or falling on the floor and get stepped on.

I already had another tooth; a back lower molar missing awaiting my bone graft to heal for another implant.

And this tiny piece of porcelain not even half the size of a carpenter ant's butt would cost me thousands to replace! I could buy an entire set of dishes for way less. And if it would save me money I'd rip out my porcelain bathroom sink and give it to the dentist! That would cost me much less to replace!

Fast forward to Tuesday, as I'm sitting in the dentist chair he drops my crown on the floor! Both he and the dental assistant scramble to locate it. I'm hollering "Don't step on it!" -- Had it fallen on my floor at home I'd never have found it due to posterior vitreous detachment in both my eyes.

Thankfully they found it. I left my dentist office only $200 poorer.

That was the suckiest birthday ever in my life!

Now I'm in the process of getting an implant for that lower back molar. So it's a return to long months of eating soft food and chewing on one side. The screw placed under the gum must heal before the process can be completed even though my bone graft was successful.

Afterward when I picked up my prescriptions at the pharmacy they asked to see my driver's license which they never did before. I inquired as to what they were giving me! One was a powerful narcotic which I refused. On other occasions I refused the super-duper strength Tylenol.

I don't do narcotics legal or other. If I was on my death bed in dire pain it would be different but I wasn't going there over brief mild discomfort.

I've had my lips tattooed 4 different times with only a topical which wore off half way thru so I really think I can handle pain!

FORGET THE BUCKET LIST

 

They say the best things in life are free. If that's true, I've either had them already or else don't want them. All of my bucket list activities cost the kind of money I don't have. So they are destined to remain fantasies and my list is endless. I'm sure plenty of others can relate to this!

However when I was younger I did many of the things I always wanted to do along with ones I'd never imagined; such as touring Russia, Ukraine, & the Crimean, conquering my fear of public speaking, and getting arrested. The last one I'm not proud of. 

I recently turned 73, I've lived one year longer than my mother. On both sides of my family we tend to die between the ages of 80 - 85. My father at age 80 was young looking, handsome, and active; but that changed almost overnight.

Despite his healthy lifestyle he was stricken with a heart attack that required a triple bypass, followed by a stroke and finally terminal cancer. He died at 85 the same age as his chain smoking father.

The longest survivor by far was my Aunt M who never had to deal with a problem her entire life according to her sons and she lived to be a hundred!

My life seems more full of problems than anything else! It's a sobering thought to realize that I may indeed be dead in about ten years! At my current age I would love to be traveling the world again instead of paying doctors and dentists! My time and health is quickly running out.

Recently I visited a friend whom I hadn't seen in months although we've spoken many times on the phone. She is seven years my senior. I was shocked by how old and feeble she had become. It seemed to have occurred suddenly as if an evil fairy struck her with the decrepit stick!

This left me unnerved and frightened. My turn is just around the corner! She has healthcare and I do not. I may not even make it to her age!

Years back I thought expatriating to a developing country was the answer. I had it narrowed down to Ecuador or Thailand. This was during the previous decade when it was easier to save up for exploratory trips.

Both of these countries proved TOO Third World for me! Affordable healthcare was there but the quality of life was far lacking.

And during the years since both countries have experienced changes that would have forced me to move! Plus neither handled the pandemic well. I'd probably be dead now had I expatriated.

Also I considered Mexico. Sadly it has become way too violent! Nothing as it used to be during the 1970's when I vacationed there.

If I'm ever stricken with terminal cancer as my parents, I won't fight it prolonging the agony. Instead I'd take whatever money I have left buy a first class ticket and start traveling to as many distant places as possible and die in a faraway land. I want to be cremated and scattered wherever I happen to end up.

Of course I might have a heart attack or stroke and end up dying in my recliner. That would be OK too. This is the house where I recaptured my happiness and one I love.

More than once the world I knew was yanked out from under me. Each day now I feel the ground shifting beneath my feet. Guess I do have a bucket list after all! This one involves hanging onto what is mine for as long as I can. Everything is temporary, even life itself.