Banging? According to the Health Clinic and others I’ve been
storming it with a battering ram, or at least I was. Perhaps I’m being over
dramatic here. I hope I am!
People always do a double-take when they learn my age. At
65, I look closer to 45 and a young 45 at that! It’s hard for anyone to see me
as a senior citizen. But suddenly I’ve got a lot of old foggie issues.
After returning from Indochina, I wondered if the
overwhelming fatigue would end. And I felt the cold more intensely, now. Winter
finally arrived after I returned to Florida. During the evenings, I was
wrapping myself in a blanket as I sat in my recliner, which I never did before.
Everything below the knees finally shrank back to normal
size and my regular shoes feel comfortable again. But new and more serious problems
emerged. My feet & ankles started turning beet red as painful stinging,
burning, & feelings of electric shock ensued. Previously, I had a touch of
neuropathy, but the symptoms were far and few between, now it’s worse &
daily! Plus I feel tightness over my ankles like rubber bands. Sometimes my
calves would go numb.
Occasionally, I felt the fluttering of panic in my chest
similar to an anxiety attack while relaxing. Sometimes there’s a burning
pressure in my left arm. I’ve had this on & off for several years. I’ve
always thought it was just arthritis.
I Googled my symptoms. According to one site, I was
experiencing 3 of the 4 stages leading up to a heart attack. (They even
displayed pictures of my feet & ankles!) Another agreed that I was
suffering the symptoms of cardiovascular disease. Yet another stated these were
the symptoms of Diabetic neuropathy. Gosh, I was a mess! Or were they just
selling a product and trying to scare me.
I went to the Health Clinic to schedule an appointment, I told
them my symptoms. They instructed me to go straight to the Emergency Room. I
refused! I don’t have Insurance, if I was hospitalized it would ruin me
financially! If that happened, my life would be over anyway. I’d rather just go
home and die in the house I loved.
A few weeks later, I returned for my appointment. I must
have seemed like dead woman walking. In the meantime, I’d changed to a Spartan
died and scheduled tests with Life Line Screening for early June, which was the
soonest available date.
I’d been warned that my triglycerides were too high and must
make changes back in 2012. And I did try! But then came my 2 big trips and who
wants to adhere to a diet on vacation? That’s why it’s called a VACATION!!!
Besides, trying the local cuisine is part of the fun!
My one great sin in life is that I crave food that actually TASTES
GOOD! I love jumbo egg omelets oozing with cheese, hash browns, buttery
biscuits, pancakes with butter & syrup, pasta swimming in cream sauce,
flavored potato chips with dip, & butter-cream topped pastries, not to
mention 5 cheese pizza & lasagna. – Keep those foul tasting vegetables away
from me! Friends have always been mystified as to why I’m not morbidly obese!
However those days of enjoying food with wild abandon are
over. I’ve completely changed my diet. Everything delicious has been banished
from my fridge and pantry. I DIDN’T SAY I WAS HAPPY! This diet feels like
punishment.
Also I’m trying to reduce stress in my life, at least for
the time being.
I’m surprised I didn’t have a heart attack at the airport in
Dubai on my return flight! I was struggling to pull myself from the jaws of a
full-blown anxiety attack. It was a
major stressor! My trip took a toll on
me, but I don’t regret it.
I felt relieved after my clinic appointment, but not
completely.
The doctor said he wasn’t worried about me, because I’m a
slim woman. (I had dropped 10 lbs since the last time I walked in there.) Plus
I’m a non-smoker. -- My father was a trim man who didn’t smoke and he had 2
heart attacks and also suffered a stroke!
Dad was far more careful about his diet than I ever was! And
he was active! After he retired, he constantly was working outside in the yard
or on the house. (I’ve always said if God intended me to do manual labor he
wouldn’t have given me such small hands.) Dad should have lived to be 110! Yet,
he died at 85 the same age as his chain-smoking father, but he was sick for
longer.
In my case, as for a stroke or my heart, I’ve planned
for a sneak attack. I told my friend Rose that if she does not receive at least
one email from me a day, to grab the key I gave her and come over to claim my
body before the bugs do.
Everything I’m doing now may not be enough. But what gets me
most, is that my last meal will be a > #)$ ^(*% < salad! I’d rather
depart this planet with a pizza on my breath, butter-cream frosting on my lips
and a big smile on my face.
I’ve considered just eating what I love and letting the
inevitable happen, but that feels too much like giving up. I’m seeing
improvement with this despised diet, but outside of magically losing pounds
fast, no miracles. I’ll know more at the latter part of June when I return to
the clinic for my test results from Life Line Screening.
I am not happy about this time line but I don’t have
Insurance and it’s better than nothing.
If my tests turn up unfavorable and my days ahead are short,
there will be no boo hooing here. Not from me and not about this.
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