WHERE'S HARRY??????

Wow! A real castle with pretty maids all in a row! -- Actually, the later part is more like a bevy of bimbos, giggling and strutting their stuff, gold-digger’s one and all. Add a dead ringer for Prince Harry and you’ve got my guilty pleasure of the summer! Tuesday nights I was salivating with anticipation. The show of course is I WANT TO MARRY HARRY. I recorded it on my DVR and eagerly stayed up past my bedtime to watch.

Suddenly it vanished! Without warning the show was pulled half-way thru its run. How could FOX do that! A sadistic maneuver for sure! Now I’d never see the expression on the winner’s face after learning she’d been played for a sucker.

I confess, I’ve been watching the remaining shows online in my office, but it’s just NOT the same. I miss my big screen, my rocker recliner and my DVR! If there’s a way to zap out all those annoying commercials someone please let me know!

Normally, I find dating shows a snore and don’t watch them, except of course when there’s an interesting twist.

I was riveted during the two JOE MILLIONAIRE series of the previous decade. But I preferred the 2^nd with the callow cowboy and the back-biting European women. This phony millionaire chose a passive-aggressive neurotic who left him standing alone humiliated. But she changed her mind after he received an impressive consolation prize. That show tanked in the ratings, thank goodness it was never pulled! I had dial-up back then.

Later, came the three AVERAGE JOE series. Ordinary guys got a shot at a model/actress type from whom they would never receive a glance otherwise. A blonde, brunette, & redhead respectively were offered up as prizes. In AVERAGE JOE no. 2, the brunette threw a major fit on camera after getting a gander at the guys paraded before her. She later apologized for her behavior. To bump up the drama and ratings, male models and body builders were suddenly added to the completion. Only in AVERAGE JOE no. 3 did the ordinary guy end up winning the hot-looking woman.

Also I recall a show where a 20 something guy was thrown before a pride of cougars like a pork chop. At the half-way point, young babes were thrown into the mix. They entered with arrogance and attitude, almost as if to say, “OK, the old ladies can leave now.” However they received their comeuppance when many of the old broads looked better in their swimsuits than they did. 

I also watched a midget choose between diminutive women and average sized ones. That show was just lukewarm.

One of my favorites was DATING IN THE DARK. Strangers, 3 men and 3 women would pair off into couples and grope each other in a pitch-dark room. Later, they would be allowed to view their choice in the light, and then decide whether they wanted a relationship. Each week featured a different group. The episode that stands out in my mind is the one where all 3 women fought viciously over the same man. After they glimpsed him in the light, he went home alone.

Never will I forget the show were all the participants were in chains! This was a particularly good one! It aired way back around 2000. The prize (man or woman) was chained at the center with 2 suitors shackled on each side. -- A contestant would need to be a certain personality type to tolerate this. Each morning when the bedroom door opened, I half expected to see dead bodies strewn across the floor, all with a hand lopped off. I found it amazing that no one ever snapped! And of course there were individual dates. In these cases, the ones not selected would trail behind the courting couple on an extra long chain about 20 to 30 feet.

A friend told me I shouldn’t watch these types of dating shows because they’re mean-spirited. However, none of the participants come across as the shy, sensitive type to me. It is their choice to be there. And I know they’re getting SOMETHING out of it!

Someone else told me these shows are probably scripted and it is the viewing audience who is being played for suckers. That may be true. There is always one obvious bitchbo or rat-bastard that is kept around far too long, probably for ratings. I don’t care just as long as I continue to be entertained.

The Harry impostor claims to be searching for a woman to love him for himself. I want to reach thru the screen and shake him! He should re-read the show’s title, then write it on a blackboard 200 times or until it sinks in. On the coming attraction it appears one of the babes finally catches on. This should be good! -- A pox on FOX for pulling this show and forcing me to watch on the computer!

UPDATE:  The HARRY show had a sweet ending. He & his babe rode off together on a 2-seater bicycle. Of course he went with the safe choice, which was smart, since as it turned out, a whole lot of money was involved.